It's Been A Long Time..... I should'na left you

Gracious, I can only say that Ive been busy during my time away but I have lots of things to report on. As usual I will present a table of contents for this blog and you may read each numbered section at your leisure so that you are not overwhelmed by one obnoxioulsy long post. ...


1. My Birthday

2. 1 Year Anniversary

3. The GAP

4. The June Birthday Party

5. Everthing Else I feel like talking about...


1. Soooooooooooooooo I turned 22 on June 12th :) Glad to be a year older, but it doesnt feel any different. I wasnt terribly excited and I didnt do anything special except get with my boo boo (Hmmmmmmm you wonder) We chilled and ate and I tried to relax and take the day off since it was my birthday after all. I guess when you get to my age thats what you do.... you relax, you buy yourself something special, you wait for your friends and the ones you love to call and sing you happy birthday on your voicemail (Thanks Julee, Julia, and Erin) and you spend time with your love interest in a romantic "I better spend the day doing every damn thing you say cause I know you'll raise cane" sort of way. I enjoyed it though cause I heard from all the people who I really love which meant so much. Now I've got another year to make grand things happen. Im looking forward to the things that 22 has in store for me. You.....you just keep the paper in hand and the tv tuned to CNN because when I blow.....the worlds gonna know. Check on it!!!

2. Sooooooooooo my blog is one year old. Shout out to all my faithful readers. Lets hope this year brings even more exciting post and interesting rants and raves. I love to talke to people and hear them reference my blog and tell me what they think of the things I say. I know Andrea thinks that I shouldnt say somethings on my blog that I think...and I think that sometimes too but you know I included a disclaimer and it still stands. Im growing and chainging as I do. Think of the things Ive written about in my blog on June 12, 2o05 and what Ive achieved/ held to/ changed my mind about since then. Im proud of my development and Im glad that I have it documented. Again as I said earlier, I'll look back when Im 25 and laugh my ass off at the mass of foolishly mispelled post that I have on the internet...maybe I'll be ashamed and take the whole thing down? For now.....Im loving it and Im proud and I stand behind all my words so FUCK YOU!!! :) In addition, Ive had the opportunity to witness the blossoming of two of the best blogs Ive seen.( It's always better when you know the person writing...that way the words have so much more meaning and you can laugh much more hearty) Both Erin and Julee have started blogs that are terribly comical, insightful, and inspiring!!! Check them out.


The Littel Black Girl That Could@ Blogspot.com-----The title alone inspires you.

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can"

I know thats been my mantra for the last month and a half!!!
Julee's blog is ....."Dedicated to the art of living fabulously as a smart...successful...out-going...black woman in the Big Apple" Im ticking away at each of those adjectives...Ive got the smart, Ive got the black....just gotta work on the outgoing and successful. Im no hermit and neither am I on the verge of returning to the RIC to sleep on my Mommas couch, but I always hold myself to higher standards. I use "Little Black Girl" as a reference for all things progressive, and you should too whether your in NY, VA, or UT


Memoirs of Erin Richelle @Blogspot.com---Precicesly Erin, and oh so comical.....and I quote
"I knocked off the dance recital - b/c although I love Kayla and her mom (for without her my hair would not be bouncy), until I birth my own precious daughter (years from now) I shouldn't have to rearrange my schedule for anyone elses."
Thats Erin for you!!!

3. Soooooooooooooooo Im feeling very Kanye West like about the Gap right now. Now I love my job....or having a job.... you pick....but sometimes I get so pissed when I think about it. The matter is that sometimes your forced to deal with unprofessional people and that can make the work environment difficult. Other times you have to work with people whom you normally wouldnt talk to if you were deaf all your life and suddenly was granted the opportunity to speak. The differences between NY and Va Gap's are minesqual yet important. In NY I get so many hours Im closing at night and opening in the morning, and called in on my only day off for the week. In VA I prayed they heard me when I told them I had open availablity. Hoping for more than 4 hours in VA, I had to say that we were far more organized and far more friendly with each other. Of course its the south and my store was much smaller but damn NY's idea of organization is seperating the pant hangers from the top hangers. They try to make procedures rocket science and its really not. The only differences in practices is the hanger thing and the fact that everyone has a damn attitude. I dont beileve that shit though because I know attitude. Yall know...I know attitude... anyway....Ive had my share of instances where I had to get a few people straight but in the end its been all good. I planned to, but I wont blog about how obnoxious spanish people are and how they destroyed the store during the Puerto Rican Day Parade and how they come into the store and talk loud as hell in spanish, and how they speak spanish when they know other people cant speak spanish and cant understand what they are talking about and how they try to pretend they dont speak english when I try to get them to open a gap card and how they wear crazy outfits with their bra's showing and Puerto Rican Flag bandana tied to their heads and each wrist and around their ankle, and how they get attitudes when you dont get them what they want and ask you questions like are you sure when they saw you just look up the shit on the computer, or how they make you hunt down the very last of the $6.99 monstrostity of a shirt and then dont buy it because they thought it was $4.99 and its too big...when really its too small for them. No...I wont blog about any of that. Truthfully Ive had those things come from everyone at the GAP...every race....I cant figure out who its worst from...the black people who think that $6.99 is too much, or the white people who think they are too good to respond when you say hello. ( Earth to white bitch....your shopping at the GAP...I work at the GAP I think we can call it a tie) What about the people from other countries that come in and say "Hello, I would like to get 15% off by opening a GAP Card." Only my dream customer especially after having the sales lead tell you that we need to get 18 cards everyday this week. I wonder if they read the news and pay attention to the fact that interst rates are rising and that Allen Greenspan or who ever the hell decided that minimum payments wont be so low anymore. Anyway....the people from other countries know damn well that there arent any GAP's in Ethiopia, or Switzerland, or Spain or any of those places....Shit.


4. Soooooooooooooooooo the June Birthday Party was great and I had a fun time. My sister threw a party for my niece( her daughter) Efe, and my nephew Keenan, her Dad and myself. It was a lovley aray of Dora the Explorer, Agave cactus sugar substitutes, and tofu. 10 kids took over the place and alternated between the bottom floor and the middle floor. I.... I tried to find the quitest room possible and assert order whenever necessary. I went for favorite and bought my niece the Dora Big Sister door. I loved hearing her sing " Come on Vamanos...Everybody lets go(some slur of 3 year old words) I know that we can do it!!!!) Dora cupcakes, Dora toys, Dora books, and a Dora shaped cake that my sister spent 3.5 hours making and decorating to a T using those really professional piping tubes and coloring each different shade of icening necessary. I bought my nephew a Hokey Pokey Elmo but Elmo got no love. It was all about Dora...even my nephew foudn himself fighting with the other kids over who got to play with the two plastic babies that came with Dora, while Elmo spun in the corner by himself. Maybe next year. The trip was long...but I enjoyed it and I got a great set of authentic bangles from my sisters father and the Young, Fab and Broke book by Suze Orman.


5. Soooooooooooooooo the ways that men try to get to women in NY are eternally comical. One guy asked if I could keep a secret.... when I asked what the secret was he replied and the sexiest way he could muster on 34th street on a Monday evening...." You and me" I thought that was comical and innovative and commended him for his hollering tactics. I gave him the number just for being comical and explained that it would go down in a very platonic way....besides my numbers gonna change in a few days anway.

Sooooooooooooooooooo who's super excited about "The Devil Wears Prada"???? I am! Im going after work tomorrow and Im super excited. This will be the first time I go to the movies BMS and that may be for the best. I highly expect for it to be a fav of mine and I cant tell you how many times Ive relished at the joy that Brown Sugar bought to me so I know that this is gonna be one that I reflect on time and time again.

Sooooooooooooooooooo when did it become accebtable for girls for be so totally boyish. A girl at worked talked about how she wears fitted hats. I couldnt believe it. She talked about how she was getting the new Jordans that came out at midnight that night. I almost laughed at her as she reminded me of those middle school days when people would come to school late from reporting to the sneaker store at 8 am to cop their pair. She asked if I planned to get them and I responded the negative. I told her I try to avoid sneakers as much as possible and the pair I have are because theyre pink, and cute and puma's ( my fav) and sleek and perfect for rainy days when a track suite and sneakers are a must. Even at work I dont wear sneaks. Ive learned that sneakers and grown women dont go together. Tennis shoes are for tennis and Gym shoes are for the gym. There are very few exceptions. Once in a while the hip street look is desired but the farthest I think I would go is chuck taylors for that. Sorry, Im not a sneaker freak...I'll leave that to the boys and even they should strive for mostly loafers(in a perfect world) Anyway, I couldnt believe the lack of femeninity in her apparal...and this girl doesnt dress like I dyke as one would expect hearing that she wears fitted hats. As I rode the train home one night one girl departed her friends by saying...."I'll hollla, yall swalllow" Now Im no prude and I can be as free as the best of them, but I know how to hold my tongue and how to use proper decorum and language in the presence of others. From time to time Erica will have to remind me to check for childre as we spew obsenities at each other but outside of those who know me and those who are my peers I dont normally fly off the deep end. I just thought it was sad that a girl would do something like that and think her self cleaver. Try again dear!

Green Blood and Other Comical Things that are the 100% Truth!!!

1. Ok so I had to blog about this because I just witnessed a lady on the Tyra Banks Show. This lady was apparently terribly afraid of pennies....I know it sounds crazy but its 11:19 on Friday June 9, 2006 and I died laughing as I watched Tyra try and caress the pennies to show the girl that the pennies would not hurt her. It was so damn funny I just kept laughing and laughing!!!! "The pennies wont hurt you look, Im touching them so they cant hurt you!" WHAT THE HELL???? Then Tyra tells her that she has to dig to the bottom of the pennies in the aquarium to retrieve a $6000 watch. This lady begins to flick the pennies with her claw nails and after a few seconds finds the watch. "Was that so hard?" Tyra ask the girl as she gasp and looks dazed beside Tyra. LMAO...I know its wrong to laugh at these people but it's just so damn funny! In middle school when we learned about the people had the problem where they thought they were someone else or something else I couldnt contain myself then either. One lady was sick and thought that she was a candy cane and would contort her arms in as best a ciscle shape as she could. Its not funny but damn it's so damn funny!

2. I walked into the hell hole the Gap calls the break room and over heard a conversation that only belongs on Letterman or one of those shows.

"No....blood is green before it hits the air."

I couldnt believe what I was hearing... was this a real live conversation with real live people???? There was but one sole in the whole group of about 10 people who said "Um...I always thought blood was blue before it hit the air." You should have heard the uproar in response. One lady responded " No...blood is green before it hits the air....My mother told me that when I was little" What a damn shame. This bitches mother told her that blood was green before it hit the air. Maybe when you do drugs your blood is green before it hits the air but for us normal healthy earth beings....blood is blue. I couldnt let this ignorance continue so I did something I promised I would never do......I joined in on this conversation as I rounded the courner from where my locker was. " No...Blood is Blue before it interacts with Oxygen....thats why there were such things as Blue Vain Societys" "No blood is green!" they replied in unison. I setteled and writ them all of as dumb asses officially.

3. The Hills
Ive written about them already but I have to say that episode two only solidified that sentiment.
The fact that LC is only now realizing that her dear Heidi is a dumb ass is really sad. Who but a dumb ass skips her first day of classes.....she doesnt even know if she likes it or not.... Is she alergic to learning? Does she have a problem seeing the board and is too vain to wear glasses? Is she afraid of being called on in class? You know what the damn problem probably is....this bitch cant read! She's illiterate and is too afraid to admit it. Adult illitearcy is a seriouse problem and what she needs to do is pick up a simple book about Dick and Jane. See Jane shop. She is from Laguna Beach. See Dick surf. He has slept with your best friend. Some shit she can understand. The sad part is that LC didnt know her friend was a dumb ass. Far more sad than Heidis illiteracy...LC doesnt know who her real friends are. I know who all my friends are. I can identify all the dumb asses that I call friends right now.....I know who the dumb ass is, where that dumbass is, and what type of dumbass things that dumbass is probably doing. I wish Heidi the best of luck...I hope she does well at her new job but Im sure the dumb shit is gonna continue week after week.

4. Yesterday I was in Duane Reid and I was deciding if I was gonna pick up snacks there or wait and go to the actual grocer. I walked by an aisl with a boy stocking the shelves and hesitated and decided to come back to that aisl. When I reentered the aisl where the boy was he very loudly proclaimed "I knew you was gonna come on my aisl!" and gazed at me as If I had opened a trench coat to reveal a surprise just for him. I turnd from the facial tissue and said " Oh really?" in my typical smart ass Cassandra way. He asked if Ineeded any help with anything and in that very same smart ass Cassandra way I replied " Nope....There's not that much to tissue. I think I got it." He said " Is there anything else I can help you with in this aisl?" very suggestively...my response...." Nope....I only came to this aisl for the tissue!" He then chucks the trash he was holding from his stocking duties and exlaimed...."Awwww Man!!!" I apologized and picked up the cheapest box I could find since it was just snot that they would be used for and exited as soon as I could. NY men.... they slay me.

My Name is Cassandra and I am a Liar

I lied....

I do want kids....two a boy and a girl
I do want a husband.... a fine ghetto one that will cuss me out from time to time
I should'nt have permed my hair.....I miss my curls :(
I dont like Mos Def that much....Mos Def is a great muscian but thats all....Raheem Devaughn is my new lover
I dont wanna live in NY for the rest of my life.....I want to retire in a nice suburb with wide streets and tall trees


That is all.

The Hills (Explicit LanguageUsed)

Ok this show should be named The fucking CLOUDS or some air head type name because these girls are a disgrace to all young women across the world. I know there is a staunch following of those who love to watch the lives of these young people but I cant exept this. This upsets me far more than Flavor of Love could ever in terms of the necessity of a reality check. First off...the lack of reality in this so called reality tv series just boggles me. I find myself asking a series of rehtorical questions that are all answerd by "Their Parents".... Who pays the rent? Their Parents, Who payed for all the stuff in their apartment? Their Parents, Who would let their daughter move to go to school knowing damn well that shes an idiot and has no intention of actually trying to be the least bit of a student? Their Parents. If Heidi was my child, I would tell her after her first report card that at 18 shes out of my house! Thats what you have to tell the dumb ones, you have to be able to analyse their earning potential from early on.... if its low than you know their gonna try to mouch as long as they possibly can! Anyway...
There were two things that really pissed me off during the show. First off...Lauren...she may be very smart and all....snaps for LC but GOTDAMN...her directions were simple! NOBODY SITS HERE....THIS IS THE VIP SECTION.... Shit what did Blain have to do???? Get Jason to come and tell her... or get Jessica to come and say it to her after bitch slapping her I mean damn... The instructions were very simple and if her ass was smart she would die before she lets someone besides her own ass touch those fuckin seats.... I mean she was the one that was put on VIP duty...standing there in heels garding an area where NO VIPS CAME TO SIT AT !!!! Can we say grunt work, shit. If my boss asked me to stand in front of some chairs for the duration of a party in heels to be a big bitch and tell other people, not just other people but celebraties and people you really dont wanna piss off that they cant sit there because some VIP 's might...MIGHT wanna sit here I would know straight off the back that that was a test to see if I could follow directions. But no, Lauren not only lets her dumb ass, obviously nonchalant about all things outside of partying , friend Heidi sit and canoodle/fight with her ghetto ( and yes RICH WHITE PEOPLE CAN BE GHETTO) boyfriend and friend but she sits down to join them. I distincly remember Lisa Love saying that if she saw either her or Whitney sitting down at anytime they would be gone. LC better kiss Teen Vogue good bye! Thats what I mean about the lack of reality... we know shes not gonna get fired... Teen Vogue is too smart to let her go. Think of all the publicity they are getting by letting her fuck things up week after week. Trust me.. I know shes fucking shit up. I was an intern for four summers... Fucking shit up...its what we do as interns... that and waste copy paper! Anyway, she knew exaclty how important her first assignment was and what does she do? Sneak her ghetto ass friends into a party, sit down with them when she was specifically told not to, and then when shes approached by Blain and Lisa Love, she trys to play it cool like Lisa Love gives a damn who Brian is. Audacity! Sorry to say, and I know it might sound like Im a hater but shit... I'll sign up for that 12 step program and announce loudly

My names Cassandra and Im hating!!

I wish I would be given the opportunity to be an intern at Teen Vogue... I would be asking Lisa Love if her shoes needed another spitt shining since she walked down the red carpet. Now Im a fan of Laguna Beach obviously, and I did find it interesting. Its a peak into the lifestyle of the overpriveledged young adults of Laguna Beach. It was interesting to watch them and their daily concerns and trials and tribulations (Tribulations...hahaha Like that languge dont you... you thought I was talking about College Hill) Im not ashamed to say that I spent last Monday alternating between the Laguna Beach and the College Hill Marathon.

A large waste of 20 minutes....The Hills...which is also fucked up....what show runs 20 minutes...who the hell do they think they are. If Im gonna watch I want my whole 26 minutes of programming.

Now I know a lot of the show is slanted to what MTV woud like to show. Heidi may not be as dumb as she seems, and maybe they told her and her group of all to familar friends ( Did they go to Richmond for any period of time??' Im not surprised at all and I dont really see a plot in this story unless your some halfwitt wanna be who aspires to BE one of the members of Laguna Beach or The Hills. In that case you should be on another of MTV's shows "Why Cant I be You" that way the next morning when you realize the new low youve sunk to by admitting aloud and on public television that you wish you could BE someone else you could have it on tape and have it serve as a permanent reminder of how low youve been.

Graduation 2006 Continued

So the party was super fun and though it didnt turn out exactly how I wanted I was satisfied. My friends were there, my family came, and there was good food available. I'll have to do it up big again when I move into my apartment. Ive since arrived in NY and for the week Im just chillin. I dont start work at the GAP until next week and other than that my full time employment grind begins. Im glad to be here but New York has that exciting/eerie feeling that you get in big cities. Though there are so many people around sometimes your still by yourself and though you may think people are watching, they are often times not. In New York you mind your own damn businesse and keep it moving! Ive found a renewed sense of style...suddenly I have a number of really cute outfits to wear though they are the same clothes Ive been wearing since 1992. I guess my style has been reinvted since everytime I step out of my door I am greeted by a basketball court full of hot sweaty mens(LOL) Its fun to tease but I know my limits, I wont keep that up much longer cause they wont believe that I didnt hear them after so many attempts at holleration.

So thats that...Ive been chillin...hanging out around 125th and laying up relaxing. I went to visit Johnny yesterday and we had a nice little visit. I miss being around him... he makes me laugh so much and I love his style and his train of thought. We had a discussion on leggings and he debunked my theory that leggings could work with Bermuda Shorts...at the end we decided that fishnet leggings go with bermuda shorts but denim or cute ones. He gave me new shades (very Jackie O) and I replaced my old ones with them so now I have new cute stunna shades.
I stopped at the Soul Spot and got my fav Jerk Chicken, Mac and Cheese, Plantains and a large lemonaid. The best meal ever!!!! then headed up Court over to the B&N to pick up my maggies for the month. Talking to Erica...It kinda made me miss her as she contemplated silver pumps and I tried to help her decide if they would encorporate into her wordrobe and what colors complement silver. I really love my friends and I cant wait to have my own place and have dinner parties and invite my friends to the city to enjoy life.

Ive been reading Fabulosity by Kimora Lee Simmons and I have to say its a perfect articulation of the type of people me and my friends are. Some people see her and think shes over the top with her rhinestones.

"If I can have something custome-made in technicolr with rhinestones, I will. "
-KLS

You see...its this exact proclamation that her "bigger-than-life" style is entitled to her that I subscribe to. Though she may seem crazy there is absolutely nothing wrong with Rhinestones ( So there Erin) and though I may not exaclty desire to wear her line of garments I find myself continually inspired by her book and abound with wonderfully insightful away messages and quotes to adorn my facebook wall...I may even open a My Space account and send messages to all the poor girls out there who's accounts proclaim them as sex pots. With sections on Self Belief and Confidence, Work and Power, Indpendence, Image and Body, Romance and Lifestyle, and Positivity and Sustainability. The grandest part of the story is that we arent listening lsome high falutent tale of how she met Russel and he showered her with money and all of a sudden she is an authority on all things Fabulous, no....this book comprises her experiences,her guidance from fashion authorities, and a slew of quotes on the topics discussed. My sister said she wasnt that interested anymore since shed found out that she was no longer with Russel and I almost hit her over the head with the 264 page work, the whole point of the book is to show ladies that it doesnt take a man to land you where you are. You think Russel Simmons would have allowed her to launch BabyPhat into what it is today if she was some ghetto hoochie off the street?? Now you may be wondering......"Well why do all the garments look like they are made for Shaquita, Starlena, Kischantay, or Lafonta (Sam I hope you got the last one) who are straignt out of Highland Park...The Trap or South Cenral LA????




Exhibit A,B, and C

What the hell?? What are the belt loops for??? This tight ass thing aint goin nowhere!

In the words of my neo--"Agregious!!!"

I feel like Ive seen these on a spanish women in the Bronx

I have no answer for that.....but the fact remains you learn a lot about Kimora Lee and who she was before Russell. My exboyfriend called her a Golddigger in his ignorance. The truth is she was super model that served as the fit model for Chanel at the tender age of 15. For those of you who dont know what that means( as I didnt) is that you are the model that all the sizes and samples for a collection is based off, the fit model is the last model to walk at the collections debut, which is an honor in itself. Imagine being the finale at a CHANEL show....

All Im saying is that everyone should check out the book. Though its sort of written to target a young lady growing into her self...it does seem to help affirm an identity of fabuloisty that many arent aware of and are often times ridiculed.

My only concern is the over usage of the term Fabulous. I dont mean that Kimora uses the word excessivley or that there is some problem with int the book. I mean the over us by the general public. Yes everyone...Fabulous has become a catch phrase used by both the fab and the un fab. Kimora (because I feel so personally aquinted with her through her book) states that there is a large difference between fabulous and average. To paraphrase, average is everything that is normal...everything that your little cirlcle of friends does...what everyone aspires to is average....anything that is greatly saught after by many people is officially upon becoming desired by beyond hmmm I'll say 10, people and it is average....Its all about being different...thats whats fabulous...being innovative...being ahead of the trends, throwing trends to the wind and asserting your own sense of style, self, ideals etc. Average is far far from fabulous. So before you let that word roll from your tounge and out of you mouth...think long and hard about the true qualities of fabulousness and reconsider. Besides...I much more prefer the term Splendiferous! Check on it!

Graduation 2006 Style

Graduation turned out to be a really fun time. Truthfully I have alot of mixed emotions about graduation. As happy as I am to be a graduate of the University of Richmond with a degree in Urban Practice and Policy and Fashion Design from a school that cost over $40,000 to attend, I still dont feel like an alum. I suppose that around August I will begin to feel that usual tugging at my heart about returning to school and as I realize that I will not be I will feel like an alum. Maybe I will feel like an alum when I change my status on the facebook and stop getting invited to join random clubs because my underclassman have forgetten about me. Or maybe it will be when I realize that I am in New York and have a full time job and an apartment. Whatever it will take I dont have it just yet.
Ive moved from UR and Im awaiting my move to NY. This sunday I will pack what belongings will fit into my Uncles spare bedroom on Winthrop in Brooklyn and head off to the city of NY. As grand as that is...it really doesnt faze me much. Everyone thinks its such a grand thing and their first question is if NY is home for me. When I respond in the negative they then ask my purpose for leaving Richmond...I respond to work and their eyes widen in some fear for me. "New York is a busy city" or "Be Careful" they all warn and wish me good luck in as much of a genuine way as they can possibly muster but I know the underlying fear that I will in the end return with hurt feelings and brusied self esteem. I know how hard it is for many to think of New York outside of that "If I can make it there...I'll make it anywhwere" mentality but I really feel like Ive been there and done that and that its the best place for me. Im a city girl and I belong in the only city of consequence on the east coast.
Graduation was fun but it was tireing as hell... and to top it all off it rained like crazy. Either way...I dont have to do another damn thing for UR. It's funny...every now and then I will think of some little thing that I forgot to do...like fill out that life survey for Wellness and I worry just a little, then I rememeber that if it was that big of a deal they wouldnt have let me graduate... HAHAHA. There are a few things I didnt get to but nothing really worth stressing over. I was kinda upset for a second that I didnt make the Deans List this semester but I guess I asked for it when I decided to not stress over Finite Math. Missing it by a minus as opposed to the plus I got kinda ticked me off but its all good...I still made the GPA. Some say its no big deal but it was a personal goal.
I saw all the people I love with the exception of one at graduation. My friends came down to see me trip over a buckle in the carpet and to chill with me and have a great time. Sam arrived 9 in the damn morning (Gosh) and Erin arrived a little later that Saturday. We chilled for a little while then I ran off to grocery shop for my party. After returning a little late we headed over to Erica's to chill and talk shit to each other as we customarily do when we get together. We finally got our lives togther and convinced Shannon to have dinner with and headed over to Kobe. I have the best time when Im with those girls. I can be my ghetto progressive self, I can say whats on my mind and I can expect them to do the same for me. I really wish that I could be around them all the time like in junior year but we each must do our own thing. Im steadily trying to convince Erica to move to NY. Like me she too is a city girl..all this Richmond BS just isnt her style. She needs to progress to bigger and better things that can be found in NY....plain and simple. After dinner we decided against going out and ended up heading back to Ericas to talk more shit and sleep. After that Shan Shan took me hope and I rested up for the big day.
It rained cats and dogs the whole time and I got tired of the whole ordeal really quick. All I wanted to do was shake Cooper's hand and return to my room to watch Hitch again for fifth time. After spending most of the time laughing & joking with Sam and Erin from the top of the Stadium, graduation was finally over. I ran over to North court Reception Room and still wasn't able to rest the least bit. Between chasing after my nieces and nephews and trying to greet people before my nieces and nephews attacked them I only got to eat one cocoanut shrimp and two cups of punch! I was beat by the end of the night but it was worth it in the end: I had a great time and really appreciate all the love and gifts I got from everyone! After clean Up, I returned to my mom and chilled w/ S. Dot and E. Money who were leaving the next morning. Andrea came by later that night and we powwowed for a while. The next morning Sam had a dentist appointment which lead me to believe that that was the only reason she'd come to Richmond. Sam and Erin kept talking Shit about packing and I was not having it. Though I told my sister to arrive around 2 pm, I still had no desire to begin packing! I waited as long as I could then began to gather the last of my things and head out. If you know me... you know, hate packing and would rather throw everything away than move heavy boxes.
To Be Continued.....

Resolve

"Tell me when to go" by E-40 is a very crunk song of which I enjoy.



However...E-40 is still as wack as he was when he came out with that song Sprinkle Me


and I quote... ( All wackness in bold)

I be more hipper than a hippopotamus
Get off in your head like a neurologist
Pushin more weight than Atlas
Got a partner by the name of 2Pacalypse
The seven-oh-seven my roost go hella fall back to Floyd Terrace
I pull a forty out of my ballcap and den I flush it down my esopha-garus
The group that I'm with
The ClickShigge-D-Shot, LegitFamily orientated
Game related, it's the shit
Killing motherfuckers off crucial
Sittin em down mutual
Running through these lyrics as if I was fiberedlike Metamucil

Timah timah.... forty widah.. forty wide
Sprinkle me main, sprinkle me main, sprinkle me main, sprinkle me main
Big timah timah, big timah.... forty widah-ahh
Sprinkle me main, sprinkle me main, sprinkle me main
Kick that shit Suga

Resolve

RESOLVE: Salmon Pink and Lavender are the colors of the season.

The One You've Been Waiting For... NY Update and Other Stuff

Table of Contents

-A funny story about the kids I babysitt
-My Trip to NY
-Graduation Update
-Random Stuff
-The BG Fashion Show/McDonalds



The Kids I Babysitt

I babysatt on Tuesday of last week and I noticed that one of the twins was missing her two front teeth. The converstation goes as follows

Me: Elizabeth...did you loose your two front teeth?
Elizabeth: Yeah... I had to get them pulled.
Me: Why...what happened?
Elizabeth: Well, I fell on the sidewalk in front of P.F. Changs and I chiped them so I had to get them pulled.
Me: Awww, thats awful.
Elizabeth: Did you loose a tooth??
Me: Uh, no...why?
Elizabteth: Your missing a tooth in the front.
Me: No, Im not.
Elizabeth: Yes you are... did you fall???
Me: No Elizabeth, I have a gap.
Elizabeth: It looks like you lost a tooth...are you sure you didnt loose a tooth??
Me: Yes Dear, Im sure...I just have a gap.
Elizabeth: Oh......right.

I think kids are the most ammusing creatures ever. Just to hear this little girl talk about getting her teeth pulled as if it was a routine incident and she knew all about typical dentistry at 3 years old, had my dying. Now, most of you know that Im not at all ashamed of my gap and actually embrace it. I smile widely with pride in pictures and even have plans to adorn it with three pink saphires when I get my Grill ( Smile for me Mami!!!) I mean...whats not to love, If I were a resident of Ethiopia I would be the sexiest girl their! Now I know you may be saying...."Cassandra....this is America! And though you may be proud of your gap that can fit rice grains horizontally...you should invest in a row of braces!" My responce............Fuck You!

Have a nice day!


My Trip to NY

NY... do I need to say again just how grand it is???? I dont think so. Just to make this brief I will let you know that certain constants are at play. NY is fab, Julee Wilson is fab, and I am moving when I graduate. I arrived on Thursday and chilled with friends and family in the Bronx, Friday evening I met up with Julee and Jenn Coles and went over to the Rolodex party. About 100 people from the fashion industry mingled amongst each other if the a lovely little Harlem Museum/Coffee Shope with Live music, bubbly flowing and the fashionable and fab all around. Me... I was posted up. I have to admit...that many fly ass, successful black people in one room left me dumbfounded and nervous. I wasnt sure just how to approach them and would have rather worn a sign that said...I need a job...PLEASE HELP. I met everyone from buyers for Saks, Lord and Taylor, Bloomingdales, to stylist for Eve, Alicia Keys, and many more. Personalities and Gay men were of no shortage and I had to do nothing but sit back and marvel at the work of my dear soror Julee! Her and a her friend with the most fab name ever( Zandile pronounced Zan di lay) hosted this grand event and should be commened/featured in Essence and WWD for just plain fabulosity and having thought of such a good idea. I had fun and found a buddy my age and after a while we started tag teaming people and getting info to direct us. I left with a number of numbers and interest and had a great time! We retired to Julees and Jenns apt and rested. Talk about a nice apt...Its no penthouse but I would LOVE to graduate into a crib like that. It shows the hard work of my friends and the progressive type of women they are! Magazines galore, spirits, good music, and a plethera of perfumes littered the house in a tidy yet lived in way and made me want to move on in. Jenn gave me the spare key on Saturday when I stepped out to walk the Harlem Streets for a bit and as I returned I have to admit that I pretended I was coming home to my own fly ass place in Harlem after an exahusting day of deciding what denims SAKS will sell this spring. Back to reality. I had a great time ! Dispite the rain that fell heavily that weekend I went downtown on Sunday and went to church with Jenn. The Abbysininan Baptist Church got down just like I like it. Old and young black people, a sermon that encouraged me and a choir that tried to bring the house down, I enjoyed it. Apparenlty this church the oldest in Harlem gets visitors from P. Diddy, to Mariah Cary, to Michael Eric Dyson, to Andre Leon Tally! Totally worth it!! I really appreciate Jenn inviting me!
After church I went downtown and shopped a bit while handling business. If youve never been then consider yourself an unfortunat case. Macy's Shoe Department is Bananas! I stayed there for about 3 hours trying on shoes and talking to Erin. I found my graduation shoes and hope that I dont fall down the stairs after I shake hand with the Prez! Of course their gold and of course theyre high heeled and will I look good..... you do the math.

I left early monday morning and made the long and sad treck back to Richmond. Gracious...It wont be long now before Im on my way to NY for good!

Graduation

Im still graduating, Im still excited, and The party is officially on. The Invitations have been sent, the favors have arrived, the decore has been set, the menue is chosen(trust its gonna be scrumpdelicious...I went back to my heritage on this one) and most importantly...I have my fly ass dress, shoes and a BOSSY ASS cocktail ring! Check on it!


Random Stuff

Im really getting tired of these end of the year formailities. It seems that these things bring out the truth in people. Id rather just peace and holler at you only if I feel like it than have you make a big fuss when the truth is you dont give a shit! I keep having these interesting conversaitions with friends about who would be our brides maides if we were getting married. I think that unless this person knows that you have met someone, like them alot, went on a second date, met some of his friends, can call and get him whenever, had orgasmic relations with him, met his parents, met other family members, and had the what if we get married covo then, then they dont need to be a brides maide. Now I know... those arent all the components of a successful relationship but they do lend themselves to other important topics like trust, happyness, and signs of a healthy relationship with GOD! Forgett trying to avoid people getting upset because they arent in the wedding....if they cant be happy for you enough to fall back and enjoy the wedding then they need to not even come. Talking with my friend who wants to have a small wedding and a larger reception I realized just how sacred the marriage ceremony is! That is a very spiritual and sacred time when you and your boo exchange vowes. THAT IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!!! You have to articulate all of your emotions and love at that time to declare and profess your love for them in the sight and with the blessing of GOD. Nothing to take lightly. Nothing to turn into a status show, and definately nothing to have bad energy present for! Please belive there are about 4 of my good friends that will be my brides maides and no more.


BG Fashion Show/ McDonalds

Andrea and I ( my rolli) went to the Beta Gamma Fashion Show. We got there kinda late but caught the tail end of it.....literally. We arrived just in time for the lingeri section and saw so much ass and tits you would have thought it was a strip joint. I dont know how these girls get up there and do it but they bare all. I could never walk across campus again knowing that everyones seen my ass. There were far to many girls and not enough men though Todd stole the show. As Todd progressed down the runway, we watched his ass greased up chest . When he got to the end he unsnapped the sides of what seemed to be a pair of read draws ( yeah....draws) He proceeded to reach down into his pants and eject the red satin number from between his legs and wave it in the air. His female companion then joined him to rubb on his chest and be groped by him. At this point all the men sitting in front of us had turned their heads to the back of the room for fear of being exposed to something they didnt want any parts of. I however paid very close attention, I mean I knew I would have to report this in my blog and that requires accurate attention to details. The show was fun and it was great to marvel at the splendor of an HBCU.

After the show Andrea and I headed over to the local McDonalds for a late dinner. I headed to the rest room before ordering and when I exited proceeded to the counter. A strange person...slightly indiscriminantly gendered eyed me. I being the indecisive person took a few minutes to figure out what I would like to eat. This person assured me that it was ok and I could take as much time as I wanted. Though there were two other ladies present behind registers when I was ready...she insisted that she help me and proceeded to take my order from the wrong side of the counter. She then raced to the other side and said..."I will help you even though Im not on the clock anymore" Errrrrrrrr Not logged in to a register she booted the girl beside her from her register and asked me what I would like. Still deciding I gazed at the menue board and scratched my head tossing my hair in my typical University of Richmond Girl way. She interupted my decision making to stop my from playing with my hair..." Please dont do that ...It drives me crazy!" At this point...Im looking for Andrea because she should have warned me and I was hoping she was standing by the nearest exit. Nope...her ass is sitting down as if this was D-hall and we had all night to spend. I order and proceed to the drink bar to realize that she hadnt give me my cup. The boss catches wind and ask shim loudly...."WHAT THE HELL WRONG WITCHU" To make up for the her mistake she gives me two cups. I scurry off to my table quickly and realize that she didnt give me any sauce for my nuggets or ketchup. At this point...Im not interested in any further converstation with what seems to by a female. I summon over a guy that is an attractive blend of Nelly (Grill included) and LL Cool J and ask if he could do us the favor of getting some condiments so that we dont get further harrassed by the crazy gay girl. " Oh dont worr bout it...I gotchu" was his responce. Andrea and I laughed about the situation and tried to eat as fast as we could. We scurried out of there and got on the highway back to Richmond. Always an interesting time in Petersburg.

Thats the deal, thats the update... PEACE!!!!!!!!

CassandraGarnett: I'm going to her rolodex party on the 21st
ShoeGal322: NICE!
CassandraGarnett: I'm bringing 50 copies of my resume
CassandraGarnett: hahaha
ShoeGal322: lol...That's a good idea
CassandraGarnett: just kidding
ShoeGal322: resume on pink scented paper
CassandraGarnett: lmao
CassandraGarnett: no....
CassandraGarnett: argyle print
CassandraGarnett: lol
ShoeGal322: omigosh - lol...u and ur argyle
CassandraGarnett: :-D
ShoeGal322: maybe u could do argyle in rhinestone on ur face - (ur ringdance idea)CassandraGarnett: LMOA OMG
ShoeGal322: :-P
CassandraGarnett: >:o
CassandraGarnett: Erin...
ShoeGal322: I'm laughing too - remembering how effing serious you were about that
CassandraGarnett: don't front you know your gonna do that at your wedding!
ShoeGal322: o yes...
CassandraGarnett: It was a good idea!
CassandraGarnett: it still is!
CassandraGarnett: watch
CassandraGarnett: you'll see it somewhere!
ShoeGal322: lets just say don't add that idea to your resume

An excerpt from a convo with my Soror and dear friend Erin Bagly!!!! That bought on a laugh that you just cant express through emoticons and phrases like "LMAO" . I miss the class of 05 so much! They kept me sane and I love talking with them. Sam sent me a link to this survey that determines which Flavor of Love girl you are....I'm Hottie....don't ask....but it had me dying and I had to put it in the profile for others to enjoy! She gave me a good pep talk the other day about the whole job search thing. In my industry...you just don't report to the CDC for an interview in February, its much more difficult than that. No diss to others but, I just wish it were more simple but I'm waiting patiently and saying my prayers like the God fearing Young Women I am.


I'm going to Julees rolodex party and I'm so excited! I know I'm gonna meet some really interesting and intelligent people in the industry and I'm ready to learn. Beyond that I'm gonna get to chill with THE JULEE WILSON! She's a celeb in my book so don't hate on the capitalization... pray you make it to that status!

I don't know what to say my friends who have graduated either have some real sympathy for my sorry little behind or they are just true friends. I went to The Funny Bone with Erica on Friday night and saw Bill Belemy. He was hilarious and so was the drunk white lady who was reverting to her college days. She of course was wasted and got called up to the stage. Margauex... her name was... was celebrating a birthday and was clearly getting loose. As her friends took pictures with their phones of her trying to back it up on the opening act Erica and I laughed. Erica is definitely my homie. If I want the real...I can always get it from her. She will always tell me when I'm headed on a road to getting played. Her favorite term ...." You aint gon end up with nuthin but a dick in yo mouth!" gives me those oh so comforting warning signs of when I may want to rethink something. Friday she was telling me the deal on managing my finances. I appreciate it though cause she's really good with money and saving. In her free spirited/ unabashed way she takes care of business and has a plan set up for everything. She's thought it over...Contemplated the pros and cons... gotten second opinions and handles her business like the grown ass women she is. I respect that...there are so many things I respect about my graduates...they really set an example for me while allowing me to be myself and do me. I don't feel like I need to conform or convert to any way of mind around them and I really feel like they like me for me rather then what they think they know about me or the way I look. (even though Erica thought I smoked weed because I was from Highland Park........... we got over that, and now were great friends! )

I hate to seem like such a groupie for my friends that have graduated but they are really doing the damn thing!!! Two are working on senatorial campaigns, two are cheer leaders for NFL teams( while holding serious jobs) Three are in law school, one teaches... is engaged ...and owns her own home, one works for one of the leading women's magazines and was just promoted on a job she's only been on for a year or so, and the other works a real damn job telling other people how to keep their shit tight.... I mean...who wouldn't aspire to follow the pathes these ladies have made.

All I wanna do is add one more path for my friends that are underclasswomen to follow. If you want a career in the arts/ fashion...go for it, don't let your environment or the mediocrity that everyone else settles for dictate what you choose for yourself.

Smooches

Disclaimer

I was looking at my last post and I must have been on that cheap crack! I didnt even finish the last sentance and will someone beat me over the head with a grammer book because I was speaking like an 8th grader on black planet! I was really tired though and I just wanted to drop a few lines so thats my disclaimer!


I had a convo with my teacher today and I got the thinking about what I write in my blog. I stand by all my words. They are the truth about how I feel about things and I stand by my words no matter how outrageous, harsh, misspelled, grammatically incorrect or just plain wrong they are. Im young and someday I'll look back and say "What the hell was my point??" or "Thats a really silly way to look at ___________". I dont wanna waste time thinking about who feels what about what I say, I wanna be young and free and foolish and YES close minded!!!

That only means I have room to grow and mature and become open minded about things and thats far far better than growing up way too fast.

So There!

Hmmmmm

This week has been like hell week. I am proud to say that of all the things I had to get done I have done most of them in a timely and satisfying period. Between NGOMA and Ivy Week...I've been running back and forth between supporting my Sorors and Dancing my heart out!

Im tired and all I wanna do is crawl into bed and read the April HARPERS. I finally got a few of them April mags....Im so behind but I've been so busy I haven't even had time to have my usualy montly Barnes and Noble trip with my homie Grace!

I kinda went off in my last blog but I hold true to everything I said. Everyone wants you to satisfy them first until they are full/done then you can use whatevers left for yourself. Im done with that kind of behavior. Im really all all alll about me these days and doing what I said/really want to do. I really need to go to bed but I've got tons of cleaning to do and an appointment with Joe Testanie at the Career Development Center in the AMthat I need to prepare for. I have to admit...Joe Testani could very well get it, I wouldn't mind making it my job to give it to him either! But you didn't read that here (smiles) I hope he helps me find a job b/c there has got to be more to life than the average job with the average pay and the average cubicle, and subsequently your whole being becomes average and average is the farthest thing from FABULOUS!


IM about to hit up the s

Seems the closer I get to Graduation the more real life gets. Times are hard yall and I'm really just trying to maintain.

Last night I had a dream that my Mom called and told me that my Uncle had past away. He's been in the hospital for about 3 weeks now and I'm just getting to speak with him. He said he feels better than when he came in but he has no appetite therefore is not eating therefore feels weak. I remember hearing the words come out of my Moms mouth and crying in my dream. I was so upset I kinda woke up disturbed. I was glad to hear he was doing well though cause I really need him to be around. My Uncle takes care of my sister and my sister isn't in her best state either. She too is sick and really needs someone to be there with her. My Uncle is the type that says what's on his mind and tells the truth which many people cant take or refuse to take, so he's not at the top of the family totem pole. He's up there though, cause at the end of the day he's telling the truth weather you wanna believe or not. But you know how it is when you wanna do what you wanna do and don't want anybody telling you your not doing the right thing. I'm so glad he's doing better though and I hope that they let him come home soon cause I really would rather him be at home than in the hospital.

My family hasn't ever experienced death really and I don't know how I could take another death in my family. The other thing is I hate to make it so selfish. Its not really about how I could take another death or what effects it would have on me or any of that, cause the truth of the matter is the loss wouldn't be in if I couldn't graduate cause I needed time to get over it, or if anything else in my life went array because of a death. No the loss would be in loosing my uncle who has guided me and acted as a father in the absence of my own. Yeah yall this is when life gets real and all this shit about what to wear, or being too busy, or why I permed my hair, or whose mad at who, or how many hours I work, or whose dating who, who I'm dating or not dating, if so and so calls me back, and if my friend is upset over blah blah and blah.......... and whose drama is going on and which teacher is tripping, and trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with so and so, and why the hell they gotta do things the way they do, and who I have to satisfy this time, and who thinks I'm a BITCH, and trying to be nicer and trying to be more approachable, and not cursing so much, and trying to be sensitive to people because EVERYBODY CANT TAKE MY ATTITUDE... and all that shit goes right out the damn window. And it pisses me the hell off to think that I let all that shit cloud my vision, distract me, or even become the slightest bit of important. That's the thing that I hate about college because its the farthest thing from real life. Its a fucking circle of lame ass people who don't have the gotdamn sense enough to know that life is much bigger than these issues and we all just have to walk around fronting like were the hottest shit on earth and cant have humility and compassion for one another...not just when were down but when were up too!!!! For every good person there's someone better!!!! We cant celebrate our individuality we have to gage ourselves on what everyone else is doin. This shit is so wack!!!!

The closer Graduation gets the more I see that life is real. Your real friends emerge and the ones that aint about shit become more and more hazy so that in the end you cant even find them when you remember them. The more I see how needy this environment makes us...how needy we are of each other and things and people and relationships to allow us to grasp some sort of identity and being. What do you have? Who do you know? What are you doing? What do I have? What do I know? Where am I going? All this tit for tat shit has got to go... I'm so tired of dealing with people who don't have an original thought in their damn minds. I mean... once we get out of here what the hell are you gonna do if you aint got nobody to bite/lean/depend/rely on???????? I know....your gonna find another group of people to validate yourself with. And I do it too... totally not exempt from this whole rant about weak ass minds cause I find my self in that same lame ass spot sometime.


The closer Graduation gets the more I see life is real... I had to do my loan exit interview for financial aid and I was like WTF????? I have a couple thousand dollars to pay back and that shit is about as real as real can get. Especially for a graduate who finally realizes that the glamorous life takes a good ten years to achieve! No matter who the hell your Momma and Daddy know or whose Law/Grad school you end up in! Please...cause your gonna be sitting in somebody's class SHOOK cause the SOCRATIC METHOD IS COMING FOR THAT ASS...and long gone are the days of BS'ing your way through a 50 min class only to repeat the things your teacher said to you in class just days earlier in the 5-7pg paper that you got an extension on cause you had too much other stuff to do.

The closer Graduation gets the more I see life is real cause this right to passage comes with rules that apply all along but don't get enforced until May 14,2006 or May 13, 2007 or May 11, 2008 ! Like saying I DON'T KNOW....People THAT IS NOT AN ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you don't know state your means of finding out!!! At some point you gotta take some responsibility and make a way of your own!!! Letting somebody else pick up the the pieces is no longer acceptable.


The closer Graduation gets the more I see life is real... so I feel like living it up because when you think about all the stuff I've been talking about, College is the only place that this foolishness can take place. When you get out there its hard work and catching a good time or a good laugh when you can....cause otherwise you got things to do and life to handle and ultimately A God to satisfy and many things much bigger than anything, anything, anything that's going on around campus.

Spring Break Wrap Up....Glad thats over!

You've heard about her before but I had to dedicate this one to Sam. God....it we lived in Meideval times Sam would be a jesture or something... the girl is just funny all around. I still laugh out loud at some of the jokes she makes and Im soo sooo soooo sad that I cant remember them all. I miss my Sam and Erin and Krystal, and Erica and Shannon and especially Jos! They made school so much fun and so bareable.
Anyways, a visit from Sam was just what I needed after the hectice weekend I had. I worked Friday and Saturday and left Richmond very early on Sunday morning to go to Northern VA for my sisters burial. Emotianally Spent..... we spent the better part of Sunday at the Wake wich was hard seeing her. She looked grand as she always does and it was terribly upsetting to know that shes not gonna be around anymore. Her youngest daughter arrived and it was harder to have her in the room. I cant bare to think of what she will do without her Mom. She held up well though and I admired her strength for a 15 year old. I promised Wendy's Mom that I would visit her when I get up to New York. Shes a little old lady that lives in the Bronx and will make a joke at anyones expense. At lunch she leaned over to me and asked me if I had ever seen a Madea movie. I said yes and she said "Doesnt that lady behind us look just like her?" I almost fell out at this 70 year old women talking about people. She was great and I cant wait to get up there and have fun with her. We layed Wendy to rest and Im glad that everything went well and that she can rest in peace.

My sister kept dragging her noisy ass kids around and it was getting on my nerves. I love my niece and nephew but they need to get beatings much more often. They arent really BAD so to speak but they are just little and little kids belong at home until 7 years old.

I was so tired, actually, I am so tired.

I still have so much to do and Im not exactly recovered from the weekend. I hate school and I cannot waite to graduate. I applied for a few jobs and I have an interview coming up on Thursday so wish me luck!!!! Its a pretty good one that I would like to get actually so if all goes according to plan then I will be in the city by the end of May! Of course if thats what God has planned for me! but... we will see Im done with just about everything and cant wait to move on. All I wanna do is change my status on facebook from undergrad to Alumunus and put on my graduation dress(which I bought this past weekend....supercute!) walk across that stage and start packing up the U-Haule cause Im DONZO!!!!

Parents Just Dont Understand!

So today my Mom flipped out on me over a very very unimportant subject. She was in my dorm room chilling with me for a bit while we killed time before she took me to work. I told her before I opened the door

" This aint no museum so dont be lookin all around oggling at everything!"

It was about an hour and a half before she made it over to my bookcase wich has a bit of my dry food items. There beside the oatmeal and excess condiments was my bottle of Apple Smirnoff and a bottle of Long Island Ice Tea Pre-Mixed. She laughed it off and asked me why I had it. My reply was simple, I have a drink every now and again and IM 21 so I can do that!

Much later...at leaste 9 hours later, I get in the car to go home and she starts flipping out on me about being a drunk and acting like the campus drunkards that I always complain about. I must say that I was very much appauled! If you know anything about me you know that I am faarrrrrrr farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr from a drunk! I may have a drink when Im out at a club or out to dinner with my friends but never ever ever am I drunk, wasted, tipsy, out there, or even exhibiting the slightest bit of intoxication.
I was pissed off at the way she jumped to conclusions about my drinking habits by just seeing a conceled bottle of alchol, that hasent been touched since mid semester FIRST semester!!!! Not sitting on my cup coaster on my desk with the lid off, not turned over on the floor...no just closed and on the shelf up with all the bottles of water. With friends who drank(heavily) in high school, friends who started drinking their freshman year at The Row, and friends who now cant even handle one drink without starting to show signes of unrulyness, I am far from a hazard or anyone that she should be concerned with.

My take is....Im graduationg from The University of Richmond( and yes that may sound snobbish but shit...its a GREAT feat!), I am not pregnant, I work my ass off , and rely on her for very little yet, she still cant give me my props. Whats the deal???

Im sure this is simply some mood swing that she is suffering from but she went on to say that Im gonna learn, the million "Gotdamn" times she told me to wear my hat and gloves and a scarf are gonna come back around and Im gonna learn when Im in the windy streets of New York and that wind hits me!!!! ( I lauged, which fueld her fire, Be serious Ma' hat a gloves???)

Yeah Ma' Im gonna learn, Im gonna learn!!!


I love my Mom with all my heart but parents just dont understand!


Goshhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wendy Salaam

Today has been one of the most hectic days all semester. I worked from 12-5 and babysatt from 5:30-12. A full 12 hours of work, plus only being limited to breathing out of one nostral and wearing shoes that are sooo sooo cute but hurt sooo sooo much. I thought since they were flats and Enzo that they would be comfortable, but these feel like theyre from Payless! And I can only imagine what types of markes theyve put on my already not so attractive feet. Oh well...


On a much much more serious note, a member of my family has passed. The first for me in terms of being old enough to understand the emotional ramifications. Wendy Salaam, was the daughter of my sisters father and a beautiful and strong women to admire. My three older sisters know her much more than I do since they grew up with her daughter. I however was born subsequently and did not get to enjoy her in all her spledor half as much as they did. A women who never failed to send a christmas present to the often forgotten, slightly darker, addition to the Brown Girl Trio. For some a christmas present doesnt seem like much but in a family of four with one parent( a MOM who works her butt off for her children) a simple present means so much. Beyond being the first person in my family to pass for me, I feel worst...more like SHIT, for not appreciating this women for her kindness the way I should have. After years of presents and cards and well wishes this women this pass year rushed out on Christmas Eve to get me a present when I unexpedetly dropped by her home with my sister , and me being the silly little self diluted egomaniac has yet to send her a thankyou card for the gift she gave me. I even had the audacity to give it away before I had even thanked her for it. I feel like shit..... I hate to think that she has left this earth without knowing how grateful I am for her kindness. I only hope that my prayers go up and out to her as she goes up to heaven.

To think of how hard I am on my Sorors about making sure that they understand how serious this sisterhood thing is, proclaiming that I have this sisterhood thing down pack, when in reality I let one of my own BLOOD sisters slip by without telling her how much I love her and how much she means to me. I feel horrible. In my family there is no such thing as a half sister....Its blood all the way .

It sucks to have this be the realization that nobody is promised tomorrow. All those cliches about dont put off for tomorrow what you can do today are true, theyre not just clever statements for your parents to annoy you with.

Wendy, may you rest in peace, I love you

I might not have ever said it, I might not have ever shown it, but hopefully now you know it.



Peace Yall

Taking A Moment

Since spring break has officially begun, I thought I might take the time to write a few words. Im so glad to have the time to take for myself and to get some work done. Of course theres so much work to be done and one week isnt that much time but at least I dont have to go to classes. Just slanggin those khakis at the GAP and trying to develop an idea into a clothing line...thats what my breaks gonna be about. Hopefully, I'll be able to get up with friends that have crept off my radar for a moment but we will see.

THE S.Dot Clancy is due to visit the U of R next weekend and Im excited, cant wait to get back to the days of yester Rho Mu. I miss my 2005 graduates but Im ready to be a graduate myself. Senior year is the worst and best at the same time and I cant decide if I want to retreat to the comfort of my quint little dorm room or venture out into the oceanic spaces called the real world. I dont know....

Im sick...and it sucks, I think Im gonna shower, takes some meds and watch Wildin Out till I fall asleep. I work all day tomorrow.

Peace

Rambling on about nothing and everything at the same time

My eye has been twiching for the last two weeks I look crazy...like Im just kidding about everything I say... Im trying to send a secret message to everyone.

According to Mrs. Kennedy...someone is coming to visit me... In the past I would have hoped that it would be Mos Def but Im feeling very Keisha Cole about him..."I changed my mind...I dont love [him] no more!!"


...I hope its my niece thats coming to visit me. She left me the most adorable message on Saturday...

" Hiiii...Hi Aunt Cussaanja...I loooouuuoove you."

My heart melts everytime I play it...my sister in the background coaching her and my nephew in the background cooing.


God...I feel like Im stuck in a class I hate and its a nice day outside and everyone else gets to play outside except me. Like I got blamed for talking in class and it wasnt even me and now the teacher is making me miss recess all because of someone else...but they get to go outside and I have to stay in... and its sooooo nice outside and all I wanna do is have fun ...I mean damn..Can I go play now??

Mos Def Isnt That Cute...I think Im over him

I'll explain later...I need to sort out my feelings

:(

Valentines Day and other catching up.

I had a really nice valentines day to be valentineless, lol. I basically went out with my sorors to have Thai at our favorite place. We had fun and as usual the food was great! The whole day started off kinda weird and ended up nice though. I heard from a long lost valentine and had a long convo that kinda resulted in a truce and me letting down my "Im done" guard...though Im considering putting it back up for good measure. My "so called" valentine phoned early for good measure and just to bullshit me but I peeped his game and cut it off early and went back to sleep.
I skipped Finite(my first time...no sweat) and decided to sleep in. I figured I'd take the day to do what I needed to do so that I could have more sanity in my life. That's the plan these days...take care of what's important and screw the rest! I guess you could call that my valentines day resolution...one I plan to keep much better than those new years resolutions. I finally got my shirts embroidered and I took care of a few other over due to do's and took the rest of the day easy. Dinner was followed by me skipping Ngoma( yeah I said it....shoot me!). I chilled more...as if I hadn't been chillin all day and did more work... or pretended to be doing work. (kinda like now) I actually enjoyed my day, I rested and took care of myself which is the first step in self love. This years was probably the best valentines day I've had single...( and in some cases attatched)...and though I had to buy my own Ferrero Rocher, they still taste the same and I slept just as nicely alone as with someone.



There goes that single women's bullshit again...Oh well.


The rest of the week flew by... which explains why I'm writing about valentines day on the Sunday following. Work...school...class...its all getting too hectic and I'm having to prioritize like WHOA! Don't get it twisted...I still get my procrastination time up in there.....Oh I know what's important and what can wait until the last possible minute...yall know how I do...always on my own time!



Before I go I have a question.....


Do I look like New York from Flavor of Love????
Flavor Flav is proof that there is a match for everyone in the world!
The way things go these days...shit... I should find out if there's gonna be a season two flave may be my match, I could be his mistress!

Flaaavor Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv!!!!!!!!!!