Smile for me Cassy :)

What did you do?

What did you say?

Did you walk - or did you run away?

Where are you now?

Where have you been?

Did you go alone - or did you bring a friend?

I did'nt know this - but I noticed when you're smilin'

Out in the sun havin' fun and you're feelin' free

And I can tell you know how hard this life can be,

But you keep on smilin' for me

What went right?

What went wrong?

Was it the story - or was it the song?

Was it overnight - or did it take you long?

Was knowing your weakness what made you strong?

Or all the above - oh how I love to see you smilin'

And oh yeah - take a little pain just in case

You need something warm to embrace

To help you put on a smilin' face

Hey, put on a smilin' face

Don't you go off into the new day with any doubt

Here's a summary of somethin' that you could smile about:

Say for instance, my girlfriend she bugs me all the time

But the irony of it all is that she loves me all the time

I want to be you - whenever I see you smilin'

Cause it's easily one of the hardest things to do

Your worries and fears become your friends

And they end up smilin' at you

Put on a smilin' face

-Gnarles Barkley - Smiley Faces

Mercury is in retrograde and Im back in VA

Well not yet at least, but I'm on my way in about two weeks or so.


So isn't that what they say when the shit hits the fan. I don't know what retrograde means (or really how to spell it----but that's never stopped me before) and I'll probably need to google mercury and what affect it has on life. The point is that mass mayhem has commenced for me and a number of my friends and family and all I can do is yank my neck back in that "What the fuck" sort of way.

They always say its bad luck to have a black cat cross your path, but what does it mean when you cross paths with a black cat that is in the midst of taking a shit. All constants remaining, you know the hissing, the glowing eyes, back hunched, with hair raised. Sorry to be so crass but I had to ponder that one as I progressed home after a long exhausting day of what I can approximate as nothing much at all. Call it nonchalance but the recent adventures in the life of Cassandra "She does not have a middle name" Brown have been one(actually a few) for the books, but far from necessary to documenting in this BEAUTIFULLY DEEP blog.

This Friday night, I'm vegging out. No phones, no AIM, nothing much at all except Bridget Jones Diary and sleeping. With that said, let the vegging commence.

PEACE

John Legend fulfulls my dreams

So who's super excited about John Legends new album. I know I am. The vibe of the video is amazing and all I can do is imagine that Im the pretty black girl the he wakes up with and goes home with in the end. Just a little more thick and womanly but just as beautiful(if not more). John knew he had to start and end with a black girl, I was slightly offended when I saw the other girls but at the end of the day love is love and it definately doesnt matter what someone's color is. The fantasy would have been so much more real for all us black girls who aspire to be kept while keeping if the girl was black the whole time. Either way Im excited for his album to drop. More good new music and yall know how much I love good music!!

Peace

I shoulda listened to my Mama

Its cold as hell outside, and I should have expected that up here in the North but it was 83 degrees yesterday and today its 53 degrees. SHIT! I thought I was covered in my dress and stalkings but no not so much. When my Mom said "Your gonna learn when that New York Wind hits you" I laughed, now all I can do is try to hold my hair from my lips so it doesnt get in my lip gloss, that shit is so annoying. Oh well, another excuse to shop!

It was good to get home before 10pm tonight. Im normally at work until 10 or so and to get home at 8:45 I was so geeked up. I stopped at the Fuh Wah ( Flatbush's best chinese takeout spot, yall know how we do in Brooklyn) and picked some food for my veg session.

So call me a lame but I just discovered three very good shows that have been on apparently forever. The Wire is such a good show. Coming at the reference of a friend I have found a replacement for Flavor Of Love which is ending in the near future. According to Tonia (for whom I must confirm all things) this show has been on the air for at least three seasons. Where have I been? Under a rock???
I caught Nip Tuck as well and it's cute, Grey's Anatomy is cool too in a very modern ER sorta way. I love the whole introspective vibe.

Speaking of introspective, lately Ive caught my self in a daze staring at my nails or off into the tunnel where I expect my train. Ask me what Im reflecting on and I have no clue. Its more like scheming, how do I get 1.3 million dollars for a Brownstone?, more importantly, where am I gonna move next month? What the hell do I buy to keep warm, will I really need to buy one of the haneouse North Face coats and Timberland Boots to make it through an NY winter??? Am I gonna go to homecoming or not??? Im thinking deep about whats to com and on one hand I wanna think about it but on the other I wanna just pray that God shows me the way. Its all my bosses fault really, my newest assignment has been to make a 20 year plan for my self. When she first mentioned it I sighed in deep displeasure but now its got me staring off in a daze trying to figure out where the hell Im going with my life. I mean "If you dont have a destination any road will get you there"(or whatever the hell they say) but then "The best layed plans...." Yall know what the hell Im trying to say? Your damned if you do, your damned if you dont.

So im staring off into the distance, dont mind me, Ive just got alot on my mind.

What so ever you sew you will reap.



Feeling very Elle Woods right now........... and it wasnt a bad salad.

Resolve

Resolve: Beyonce is the shit.

If you didnt already know then I think you know now after her performance on the VMA's for MTV. Did you see that Boot/Step Routine....You know the Zi Zi Zi Chapter of Blah Phi Blah is gonna use that shit the first chance they get.

Oh and by the way.....I can tell you exactly what Jay-Z was thinking while he watched his girl perform.


"Damn if you let me go????? Shiiiiiiiiittttt, Damn if I let you go! "

Thats if hes smart of course!

Just when I thought.....

Just when I thought I would have to join the ranks of the bubble machine sales men on the side of the street(you know the one that sells that crawling baby and lets it crawl in the middle of the sidewalk so that people can trip over it). .... Just when I thought I might have to get a shish kabob stand and start selling jerk and curry shish kabobs on the street. ...Just when I thought I was going to have to compose some sort of routine to perform in the Time Square Train Station with a hat on the ground to collect my change....Just when I thought I might have to join a survey group and start harrasing unsuspecting people in central park.....I got a job.

Please address me as the Assitant to the Owner of the Michelle New York Boutique and Bridal Salon.

Smooches



(Thanks to all my friends and family that supported me during this very hard time of uncertainty and frustration)

"When The Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts"

Once again Spike Lee has shown us the real truth about Hurricane Katrina a disaster that what we thought we knew all about. The four hour four part documentary had me in uncontrolable tears on and off throughout the showing of each part. To think about the way that people were torn from their homes, torn from their families then tossed into the world and expected to fend for themselves. To see the man not to much older than I speak of finding his mother crushed under the refridgerator in their kitchen after being told that thier home had already been searched and found empty. To see the eight year old girl run to her mother after being seperated from her for 3 monthes. To see the man describe how his bed ridden mother died right in front of his face as they waited for buses to take them out of the hell that they had to endure. The buses did not come for another four days after his mother died. She had no chance. To see the bodies floating in the water that had finally subsided. To see the people klinging to each other trying to stay together trying to stay in their faith with prayers that someone come and help them. For five days these people had to wait for food, water, assistance anything that would even give them the slightest idea of what the hell they had just been through much less any idea of wether or not their going to be able to move forward.
With more wreckage than 25 world trade center disasters, all because some group of people decided that 10 feet was good enough as opposed to 17, or that walls were ok as opposed to a true flood prevention mechanism. Then to top it off to hear them say that they will have the flood wall that took 40something years to build repaired in 8 monthes. Yeah, dont feel strange when your eyebrow raises and you stare off into space the way to try and figure out if what you heard made any damn sense. Where was everyone? Condeleza Rice was shoe shopping at Ferragamo, followed by a viewing of Spamalot( She was accosted by a white lady at Ferragamo, and booed when the lights came up at the show.....exactly what her ass deserved). Bush didnt interupt his vacation and when he did arrive he had his whole show set up and timed of course to present him in the best light.

Kanye said it best....

BUSH DOESNT CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE

Covering all the theories and suggestions, even the one that suggest that the levees were bombed in order to wipe out the entire 9th ward in order to clear out the predominantly poor neighborhood.I encourage everyone to catch the reshowing. All four acts will be shown Tuesday, Aug. 29 (8:00 p.m.-midnight), the first anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Trust me, you wanna see it. You need to see it and if you have any concern for the world around you you will be sure to clear your schedule so that you can watch it uninterupted.


I wont go on just watch it.

Chicken Noodle Soup with a Soda on the Side/Guess Who's Bizzzaaaccckk

Alright, so I posted a pretty depressing post last time around (which was a while ago actually) but I'm better now. Of course when its been far to long between a blog I have to do a table of contents, besides some things I have to say are just random unrelated thoughts. Read at your own leisure.

Oh and the title.....Just let it Raaaaaaaaaaiiiinnnn and Clear it Ouuuuuuuttttttt

1. That Big Decision that I had to make

So after a few weeks of feeling pitiful about myself I have decided that I will indeed stay in NY. Its been a long hard road and I know there's a pot of gold at the end. I'm frustrated and tired but I'm gonna keep truckin. Enough of that talk, I have a new mantra and its simple and concise and sums an attitude that is intolerant of all things intolerable including drama, wackness, pity, and self doubt.....
ONWARD
Try it the next time someone or something tries to slow you up with some nonsense. Simply proclaim ONWARD and the BS will subside!

2. Flavor of Love and other very interesting Reality Series

So I wont ask who caught the latest two episodes of Flavor of Love because I know everyone who is anyone watched as Somethin shat on herself and the crazy bitch (who never made it to the naming ceremony)offered lip chap and beat downs. It will make for a very interesting season and unfortunatly I don't see Flave finding love in the end. His best bet is to call up New York and try to get on her Momma's good side because the slew of hot ghetto messes he has wont take him far. Among other very interesting television, because I have time to catch up....I sat down to watch the Janice Dickinson Modeling School show and turned after the first commercial. First of all that bitch is MAD and second of all, something about the title and the star remind me of that "Zoo Landers School for children who want to learn to read better" or whatever. Waste of air time if you ask me. So Laguna Beach is in its second class or whatever and I'm having the same problem that I had when I stepped foot in my first class at T.C. Williams, and the same problem that I had when I stepped foot onto the University of Richmond's Campus. I cant tell all the white girls apart. This time around they all have the same damn face and the same hair. Its gonna take at least the first four episodes for me to figure out who's who. At least last season Jessica had her own look, LC had that square jaw, and Kristen had the short blond hair, while that other girl that kissed Jason had that boyish figure and that harsh face. Not to be mean though. In other television Project Runway is proving to be a great season and I'm praying that Michael isn't as gay as he sounds. He's a designing wonder and I'm so proud of him for winning two challenges in a row. Way to show those snooty biothes(mainly that Laura) who sets the trends! I'm rooting for him and hope that Heidi Klums slip up in a recent comment that she made saying that Michael didn't make it into the top three was referring to some other top three and not the final to three. The boy is bad and he keeps it so real that I cant wait to see where he lands, because we all know that they always make it some where. Kara Sann designs for Heide at her whim, Jay is launching his own line (though in his own sweet time), we all saw that little gay boy working on Lisa Rayes wedding dress in Preston Bailys: Mr. Fabulous feature, and the other girl took her money and ran back to Texas to open up shop selling her line. Speaking of those who keep it real I have to mention the Keishia Cole series "The Way it Is" On her last episode she met up with her Mom for which she hasn't seen in one complete year. That's some real shit when you confront your mother who just got off of drugs and your sister who is heading down an alcoholic path. I love Keisha Cole for her ability to tell it like it is and to never be ashamed of where she comes from while still seeking to progress. Thats definately whats up!


I'm definatly looking forward to the Fantasia Burino Story airing on Lifetime this Saturday. Ive already requested off from work and set my reminder timer so that I dont miss it watching a Different World on Nick at Night. I'm hoping to learn more about the American Idol and the hard road that it took to make it to Jamie Fox kissing status! I need all the tips I can get!


3. Cassie (Not me...but the girl in the dance studio trying to be sexy)

Ok, so I know lots of people have a problem with Cassie and I have to take a complete numbered section to dedicate to her. Everyone may have their reservations about her but I really have love for Cassie! So here goes.....

1. We share the same name...
Its ironic that our name has its origin in a witch that no one beleived and the fact that no one believes that Cassie can sing. I'm just sayin, what a sad coisidence.
2. Shes a normal girl just like you and me...
She's never afraid to talk about her talent or lack there of. I saw her on 106 and Park and it wasnt pretty but she tried to hold it down. She really did! And I quote....

"I am aware that my live performances have been pretty bad....no excuses, I'm still getting over stage fright. I am very upset with the series of events this week and I do not appreciate people making me look and sound crazy. I'm not a a whore or a b*tch, which is what people have been making me out to be. I'm a 19 year old girl, I'm single and I'm working my ass off."
http://www.myspace.com/cassiemyspacemusic
Yeah Cassie, You just tell everyone to FALL BACK, its not easy coming up in the music industry with a shaky voice that requires you lip synch for live performances. SHEEEESSSSHHH

4. Shes a hard worker!

Cassie works very hard on her music and just because she cant sing it in public doesnt mean that she isn't a great artist, I mean who needs to belt out chords like Aretha when God has replaced quality voices with quality technology. You do the math! Cassie cares about her image. Why else would she spend a full four minutes practicing her moves in a dance studio alone to express the true meaning of her song Me and U. I mean, the clear meaning is in the lyrics. " I know them other guys/ They been talkin bout the way I do what I do/ They heard I was good they wanna see if its true." Shes clearly talking about dancing She cares alot about her image and wont stand for just any image being put out about her.....And again I quote....

"This song is VERY suggestive, and I am VERY particular about my image and I kept it clean to preserve my name and image. ThereÂ’s no guy because I personally felt that it would have been tacky. Yes, I bet youÂ’re wondering, how would she know if she didnÂ’t do it? Â…Well, the truth is, is that I did shoot a video for this song before. It was extremely low budget and it was before I signed to a label. Unfortunately that BAD video thatÂ’s going around, I felt like it scarred the very beginnings of a promising future. No matter my excitement while making the video, I was not thinking for Cassie. Before I had a chance to voice my opinion someone had leaked it in itÂ’s raw form."
http://www.cassie.ns4life.com/

How unfortunate for Cassie. The video that leaked was a clear misinterpretation of what she really was saying when she wrote "Me and You"!


You be the judge

http://ybf.blogspot.com/2006/08/cassie-is-that-you.html
(check out the vid and the other quality reading items of the YB&F Blogspot)

See, I know just as well as Cassie that its hard out her for a pimp and that you hardly ever get your props when they are due to you. Its for that reason that I have love for Cassie. Cassie you keep it goin and I will hold you down, my name sharing sister!



Then again, I do have one question. Why on didn't didnt Diddy put Cassie through the same hazing process that he put his Spring 2006 line Danity Kane through before he initiated Cassie into the Diddy Phi Diddy Music Sorority. I mean, a little of that running around and 72 hour challenges could have done Cassie some good. Dont get me wrong, she's my girl and all but she could stand a walk to Juniors and a moment contemplating "What is Preserving My Sexy beautiful big producer P Diddy?" And I know Lori Anne defindidn't didnt compose that little jerky number she did in that video. Hmmmmmmmmmm I wonder??????

4. The state of my treses

So my hair is looking like who shot John and forgot to kill him! I've already admitted that I shouldnt have permed my hair and for the time that I have been in the city I have wavered back and fourth about growing it out or continuing. I havent found a place of worship, where I can bow my head back to the God blessed hands of a liscenced stylist for rejuvination. Hense Ive been looking particularly deranged. At one inch per month, its gonna take a good 10 monthes to restore my treses to normalcI'mand Im not sure I can endure that journey with out some assistance. My solution involves additions. Now in my circle extensions have been frowned upon for various reasons and I have definatly participated in weave dissing(I keep my PBC in my wallet for when people get it twisted and try to act brand new about some of my commI'mts. Im card carrying and unashamed. All those closet members need to go ahead and embrace their Platinum Status( Snaps for Erin, that was ultra clever and I had to use it)), but some of these weaves dont know their place. When your tracks extend from the middle of our head and progress to the front in an attempt to make a swoop or bang youve crossed the line. Ive heard stories from friends where a lack of tracks has forced them to sew braids together, or do the unthinkable..... gel their hair over tracks to creat an illusion. Its one thing to fake it until you make it, but how much are we really trying to I'mke. Im not trying to make I'mch, Im really just trying to call a TIME OUT on the upkeep of my own tresses by calling in a stunt (and I will be stunting) double. Now, some of the weaves i have seen in the past have tried to take the the general public for straight up fools. Extensions can be fun and liberating, but all in moderation. You cant have layers within your own hair then add another 12 inches and expect people to take you seriously. Thats obsessive and obnoxiouse and just plain out of order.I'me...Im not going for that I'mok. Im going for the Beyonce, Cherish, Rhianna hair look that I could really do on my own but for convenience sake would be better off infultrated. So there.

5. Two Reunions in Less than a week! EGAD!

So in an impromptu trip home I got the chance to hang out with two of my sisters that I love and respect so much. Val is my sister from another mother considering we have the same last name and Tonia is just my sister by support and trust! We retreated to Ruby Tuesdays for drinks and plain old misbehaving. When we were met by a bartender couldnt tend the bar we (well I) made it a point to berate him via a note. It wasnt as much berating as much as calling attention to the fact that he couldnt even make some simple drinks that were flavorful yet more creative than vodka and cranberry. After a lovely meal and tons of those "I wish I was still an undergraduate student" sighs we all wished each other the best of luck and headed our seperate ways. Me back to NYC and Val to William and Mary for Grad School (I am so proud of her) and Tonia back to UofMD to finish her Masters in Education(which will take her only one complete year to complete because shes fly like that). I love that my friends are so directed. It allows me the comfort and leisure of being the Lynn in this Girlfriends episode we call life.

After returning home renewed and refreshed I got up with the ABBB FABBB Julee Wilson for further encouragement. What started as a coffee meeting after work on Friday turned into a nap on her and Jens Couch, Catching up on Flavor of Love to find out exactly what that rank smell was that they had mentioned in the previews, A surprise visit from the One and ONLY Erin Richelle, Great Sushi, Getting drunk at a cute little restaurant/club, Me being very friendly with a guy from Spain and a guy from Cali (but not as friendly as one of our enterouge members), Me being dressed up in a short, horizonatl strip spandex dress(dont laugh),Some obscene pics of us acting out, Still being drunk the next morning, a great brunch, and then finding myself right back at work the following evening. Bossy was our theme song for the night and we definately ran the show! In the end I was able to make that big decision that I had to make and I was so renewed to have seen some of my most favorite people that I ever met. Great times and great friends!

Hey Ladies " We in the car, we ridin slow, we doin things that the girls dont do! The boys stare, we smile back ... somethin somethin somethin... SHOWSTOPPIN!"

6. Fall in the City
I'm
So Im so excited to be in NY for the fall. The fall is when it all goes down. Everything is going on, everyone is back in the city from summer vacations in the Hamptons and such, and above all the weather is a little less brutal. I am so excited to get the ball rolling and get my life kicked off. There is so much to look foward to. The fall foilage at Bryant Park and Central Park. Being able to breath in the fresh crisp air (or at least the crisp air). Fall fashion is gonna be hanI'mus (Im planning to overdo it on the grays accentuated with bright obnoxious colors (especially royal purple) !!!! (but thats just me) and I get to pick out a winter coat!! Last summer I had to snatch up a diagonally zippered winter white wool pea coat by Kenneth Cole, which I found for a sI'mal. Im hoping to have a repeate of that, where I fall in love with a wonderful coat and pair of boots and start planning the fall around that!!! So, if you wanna come and see me, the best time to come is the Fall its gonna be great, I know it!

7. TI'mngs Im looking forward to

So beside all the other great things that go on in the city in the Fall I am so excited about the excess of truely good music that is coming out in the next few weeks.

Whos super excited for B-Day!!! I know I am. Dejavu was great and Ring the Alarm had me pumping my feminist fist all up in the air. And I quote " I be damned if I see another chick on your arm!" Finally a song that recognizes the fact that we women spend monthes and years molding( And Fuck what ya heard, you do have to mold a man, they dont come out of the box ready for use) these men into the sauve, gentele, well mannerd gentalmen. I remember having a conversation with Dr. Cade about how she had to mold her man into the the man he is today. She sent in his Dental School applications and everything when after asking him what his plans for the future were and his response was " I I'mink Im gonna buy a truck". When he came into the office to pick up her car for its oil change and offered to get her a ham biscuite while at Ukrops I knew that molding would forever be my standard relationship procedure. Theres a quote by Virginia Wolfe that I love about fashion that goes "Vain Trifles as they seem clothes change our view of the world and the worlds view of us" and the crazy thing is that, that also applies to men. "Vain trifles as they seem, Men change our view of the world and the worlds view of us. How is it that a women can be on cloud 9 when she is in love and rock bottom when her man has done her wrong. How is it that we know when that BITCH that is always nagging and complaining is finally getting some because her whole demenor flips. Front if you want ladies but when you have a man your are a differnt women both better and worse, thats the way it goes!

Danity Kane or Whakity Name as my favortive blog named them ( I thought that shit was so funny)are coming out with their albuI'mand Im super excited! I had to say a special prayer that "Sleep On It" made it to the album because I found myself singing along to a few of the tracks as I watched the television series. "Sleep on It"," Ride For You" and "Show Stopper" have me super excited about the album. Now I cant help but go through the group and list my favs and of course Dawn and D. Woods are my top picks. Besides them being the two black girls in the group I love their style and personalitys. D Woods brings that fine balance between ghetto chic and R&B queen to the group while Dawn is that easy going songtress. Truthfully all the others are nice but unimpressive. Beside the little(almost non existant) one Aubrey (maybe) she can blow and I appreciate her earnest singing and the soul in her voice. Sorry but the other two are fillers. You cant have a group of three because one always ends up in the middle which automatically creates an air of supremacy between members, and we all know what that can lead to. In a nut shell I cant wait for Virgin to open on the 22nd for me to rush and pick up the aI'mum, Im officially a card carrying DK Fan Club member. I admit!


So I know this post was ridiculously long and full of run on and poorly written paragraphs but between that and my clever little antedots, thats the reason you guys read. Plus, yall know what the hell I mean!


Smooches!
Peace Yall!

Free

Free like a willow tree
Free like a summer's eve
Free like the waves are crashing on a solitary beach
Free like a bumblebee
Free like the open sea
Free like the minute, second, moment when you hold me closely
Free like a flying dove
Free like the moon above
Free like the four letters that spell out L-O-V-E love
Free like the bluest sky
Free like the wings up high
Free like... free like...free like....free like
Free like the brown in my eye
Free like the tears that I cry
Free like...free like....free like... free like



I know I havent updated in a long time but there isnt much to be said right now. Im going through some things and when I make my decisions, you'll hear it here first.

Peace and Love

Resolve

Confessions on a Dance Floor is officially my ish! Madonna has never really really appealed to me until I worked with Johnny. He put me on to her along with The Scissor Sisters and Gwen Stefani. Ive learned so many things about white music from working at Johnnys and the GAP(please dont trip) like how to say super cute in japanese and many other valuable lessons. Confessions has something for everyone. I spent about 30 min in Virgin previewing the album before I copped it and all I wanted to do was take an extasy pill and break out some glow in the dark jewelry. You know the kind you get at the fair!!! Apparently there are a variety of lava lamp'ish jewelery that displays the number of people youve slept with or the number of pills youve taken....something like that ( I learned that at Thompson Middle School when we were tutoring for the SOLS)

The point is....Confessions is a great album and it may be what gets me through the summer. If you know me at all you know that I am always using music to transcend space and time. Music has a way of allowing people to identify moments in their lives, and I definatley use music for that reason. Just the way Will Smith makes you feel summerish when you hear "Summer Time" thats what music does for me on a regular basis. Confessions is really making me thing about my first summer as a resident of NYC, Plus Jump from the album was used in The Devil Wears Prada and I'll have to explain what a profound effect that movie had on my life in another blog or we would be here alllllll night!

Peace OUT!

Blog of no significance

So Ive been doing what I do for the past few days. Chillin and working. Thats all I seem to do these days. Im growing tired of the routine and cant wait for a break so that at least by fall I can make some moves. Im really excited for the fall to come so that 1. It can cool down and 2. I hopefully can start making the necessary changes that I need to make. Dont get it twisted. Life here at my Aunt and Uncles is great! Home cooked meals every day, no chores, no bills, and best of all no nagging!

July 4th was fun. I didnt plan to do anything but of course as men will tend to do mine called at the last minute and suggested we go to Cony Island. It was fun in its filth. You got over the trash and enjoy the fact that its a 24/7/365 fair. The food the rides and the beach all in one place it was great. We waited for the fire works( Our purpose for going) and after about two and a half hourse we found out that this year the first in like 15 they had decided not to have fire works. We roamed a little longer and then retreated as I had work early the next morning.

So now Ive mentioned twice an allusive male figure in my life that I am romantically involved with. We are great friends and claim each other with titles but its still in the works. Everything must come with time but I really enjoy his company and he enjoys mine. He is of a different variety than I have previosly dealt with and in the end that has proven to be his benefit. It maybe what allows our personalities to be more compatibale . Eitherway thats the skinny that Im gonna provide and until I decide that theres more information that is necessary for others to know, I'll leave it at that.

Yesterday I hung out with Grace since she was up this way to visit her family. We met for lunch at Saks. I had the most wonderful Lobster Risotto and Maryland Crab soup. It was great that I could actually pay for my meal at Saks also, Its hard out here for a pimp and getting to play every now and then is whats up. It was great to get to a different part of town. Im always midtown and Brooklyn. It was great to get up town. I go uptown but thats always far uptown Bronx and Harlem. Anyway I had fun being in a different part of the city. The parts are truely different and the residents are different also. Im looking forward to an apartment search and all that fun jazz of finding a place with a cute little bodega on the corner that sells flowers with a barnes and nobel within walking distance and a cute little restaruant with sidewalk seating to dine at when cooking is out of the question.

Well, Im an official resident by both mine and leagal standards( as Ms. Bagley has alerted me) I finally got my number changed. To a local area code. Not as cute as my old number but flyer by simple 718 association. If you didnt get one of the 20,000 text messages I sent out( sorry I didnt think to put my name on it at first, then I didnt know how to make it stop sending them) then hit me up on the old phone or send me an email and I will dtermine if you deserve my number. Yeah Im a socialite now so my number is private. Not like Christina Milan's. She has a bill board atop one of the buildings in Time Square that displays a telephone number and some shit about "My number is so private I can make it public." I dont know what the fuck she means by that oxymoranic statement but my number isnt like that shit. LOL JKJKJKJK

Well I didnt have much of anything to really say but since I dont have to be at work until late I thought I would drop a few lines. Nothing really insightful but just an update. Gotta go get dressed and run to Saks...I left an important receipt at the Jo Malone counter like a half wit so I gotta get there before work.


Peace OUT

It's Been A Long Time..... I should'na left you

Gracious, I can only say that Ive been busy during my time away but I have lots of things to report on. As usual I will present a table of contents for this blog and you may read each numbered section at your leisure so that you are not overwhelmed by one obnoxioulsy long post. ...


1. My Birthday

2. 1 Year Anniversary

3. The GAP

4. The June Birthday Party

5. Everthing Else I feel like talking about...


1. Soooooooooooooooo I turned 22 on June 12th :) Glad to be a year older, but it doesnt feel any different. I wasnt terribly excited and I didnt do anything special except get with my boo boo (Hmmmmmmm you wonder) We chilled and ate and I tried to relax and take the day off since it was my birthday after all. I guess when you get to my age thats what you do.... you relax, you buy yourself something special, you wait for your friends and the ones you love to call and sing you happy birthday on your voicemail (Thanks Julee, Julia, and Erin) and you spend time with your love interest in a romantic "I better spend the day doing every damn thing you say cause I know you'll raise cane" sort of way. I enjoyed it though cause I heard from all the people who I really love which meant so much. Now I've got another year to make grand things happen. Im looking forward to the things that 22 has in store for me. You.....you just keep the paper in hand and the tv tuned to CNN because when I blow.....the worlds gonna know. Check on it!!!

2. Sooooooooooo my blog is one year old. Shout out to all my faithful readers. Lets hope this year brings even more exciting post and interesting rants and raves. I love to talke to people and hear them reference my blog and tell me what they think of the things I say. I know Andrea thinks that I shouldnt say somethings on my blog that I think...and I think that sometimes too but you know I included a disclaimer and it still stands. Im growing and chainging as I do. Think of the things Ive written about in my blog on June 12, 2o05 and what Ive achieved/ held to/ changed my mind about since then. Im proud of my development and Im glad that I have it documented. Again as I said earlier, I'll look back when Im 25 and laugh my ass off at the mass of foolishly mispelled post that I have on the internet...maybe I'll be ashamed and take the whole thing down? For now.....Im loving it and Im proud and I stand behind all my words so FUCK YOU!!! :) In addition, Ive had the opportunity to witness the blossoming of two of the best blogs Ive seen.( It's always better when you know the person writing...that way the words have so much more meaning and you can laugh much more hearty) Both Erin and Julee have started blogs that are terribly comical, insightful, and inspiring!!! Check them out.


The Littel Black Girl That Could@ Blogspot.com-----The title alone inspires you.

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can"

I know thats been my mantra for the last month and a half!!!
Julee's blog is ....."Dedicated to the art of living fabulously as a smart...successful...out-going...black woman in the Big Apple" Im ticking away at each of those adjectives...Ive got the smart, Ive got the black....just gotta work on the outgoing and successful. Im no hermit and neither am I on the verge of returning to the RIC to sleep on my Mommas couch, but I always hold myself to higher standards. I use "Little Black Girl" as a reference for all things progressive, and you should too whether your in NY, VA, or UT


Memoirs of Erin Richelle @Blogspot.com---Precicesly Erin, and oh so comical.....and I quote
"I knocked off the dance recital - b/c although I love Kayla and her mom (for without her my hair would not be bouncy), until I birth my own precious daughter (years from now) I shouldn't have to rearrange my schedule for anyone elses."
Thats Erin for you!!!

3. Soooooooooooooooo Im feeling very Kanye West like about the Gap right now. Now I love my job....or having a job.... you pick....but sometimes I get so pissed when I think about it. The matter is that sometimes your forced to deal with unprofessional people and that can make the work environment difficult. Other times you have to work with people whom you normally wouldnt talk to if you were deaf all your life and suddenly was granted the opportunity to speak. The differences between NY and Va Gap's are minesqual yet important. In NY I get so many hours Im closing at night and opening in the morning, and called in on my only day off for the week. In VA I prayed they heard me when I told them I had open availablity. Hoping for more than 4 hours in VA, I had to say that we were far more organized and far more friendly with each other. Of course its the south and my store was much smaller but damn NY's idea of organization is seperating the pant hangers from the top hangers. They try to make procedures rocket science and its really not. The only differences in practices is the hanger thing and the fact that everyone has a damn attitude. I dont beileve that shit though because I know attitude. Yall know...I know attitude... anyway....Ive had my share of instances where I had to get a few people straight but in the end its been all good. I planned to, but I wont blog about how obnoxious spanish people are and how they destroyed the store during the Puerto Rican Day Parade and how they come into the store and talk loud as hell in spanish, and how they speak spanish when they know other people cant speak spanish and cant understand what they are talking about and how they try to pretend they dont speak english when I try to get them to open a gap card and how they wear crazy outfits with their bra's showing and Puerto Rican Flag bandana tied to their heads and each wrist and around their ankle, and how they get attitudes when you dont get them what they want and ask you questions like are you sure when they saw you just look up the shit on the computer, or how they make you hunt down the very last of the $6.99 monstrostity of a shirt and then dont buy it because they thought it was $4.99 and its too big...when really its too small for them. No...I wont blog about any of that. Truthfully Ive had those things come from everyone at the GAP...every race....I cant figure out who its worst from...the black people who think that $6.99 is too much, or the white people who think they are too good to respond when you say hello. ( Earth to white bitch....your shopping at the GAP...I work at the GAP I think we can call it a tie) What about the people from other countries that come in and say "Hello, I would like to get 15% off by opening a GAP Card." Only my dream customer especially after having the sales lead tell you that we need to get 18 cards everyday this week. I wonder if they read the news and pay attention to the fact that interst rates are rising and that Allen Greenspan or who ever the hell decided that minimum payments wont be so low anymore. Anyway....the people from other countries know damn well that there arent any GAP's in Ethiopia, or Switzerland, or Spain or any of those places....Shit.


4. Soooooooooooooooooo the June Birthday Party was great and I had a fun time. My sister threw a party for my niece( her daughter) Efe, and my nephew Keenan, her Dad and myself. It was a lovley aray of Dora the Explorer, Agave cactus sugar substitutes, and tofu. 10 kids took over the place and alternated between the bottom floor and the middle floor. I.... I tried to find the quitest room possible and assert order whenever necessary. I went for favorite and bought my niece the Dora Big Sister door. I loved hearing her sing " Come on Vamanos...Everybody lets go(some slur of 3 year old words) I know that we can do it!!!!) Dora cupcakes, Dora toys, Dora books, and a Dora shaped cake that my sister spent 3.5 hours making and decorating to a T using those really professional piping tubes and coloring each different shade of icening necessary. I bought my nephew a Hokey Pokey Elmo but Elmo got no love. It was all about Dora...even my nephew foudn himself fighting with the other kids over who got to play with the two plastic babies that came with Dora, while Elmo spun in the corner by himself. Maybe next year. The trip was long...but I enjoyed it and I got a great set of authentic bangles from my sisters father and the Young, Fab and Broke book by Suze Orman.


5. Soooooooooooooooo the ways that men try to get to women in NY are eternally comical. One guy asked if I could keep a secret.... when I asked what the secret was he replied and the sexiest way he could muster on 34th street on a Monday evening...." You and me" I thought that was comical and innovative and commended him for his hollering tactics. I gave him the number just for being comical and explained that it would go down in a very platonic way....besides my numbers gonna change in a few days anway.

Sooooooooooooooooooo who's super excited about "The Devil Wears Prada"???? I am! Im going after work tomorrow and Im super excited. This will be the first time I go to the movies BMS and that may be for the best. I highly expect for it to be a fav of mine and I cant tell you how many times Ive relished at the joy that Brown Sugar bought to me so I know that this is gonna be one that I reflect on time and time again.

Sooooooooooooooooooo when did it become accebtable for girls for be so totally boyish. A girl at worked talked about how she wears fitted hats. I couldnt believe it. She talked about how she was getting the new Jordans that came out at midnight that night. I almost laughed at her as she reminded me of those middle school days when people would come to school late from reporting to the sneaker store at 8 am to cop their pair. She asked if I planned to get them and I responded the negative. I told her I try to avoid sneakers as much as possible and the pair I have are because theyre pink, and cute and puma's ( my fav) and sleek and perfect for rainy days when a track suite and sneakers are a must. Even at work I dont wear sneaks. Ive learned that sneakers and grown women dont go together. Tennis shoes are for tennis and Gym shoes are for the gym. There are very few exceptions. Once in a while the hip street look is desired but the farthest I think I would go is chuck taylors for that. Sorry, Im not a sneaker freak...I'll leave that to the boys and even they should strive for mostly loafers(in a perfect world) Anyway, I couldnt believe the lack of femeninity in her apparal...and this girl doesnt dress like I dyke as one would expect hearing that she wears fitted hats. As I rode the train home one night one girl departed her friends by saying...."I'll hollla, yall swalllow" Now Im no prude and I can be as free as the best of them, but I know how to hold my tongue and how to use proper decorum and language in the presence of others. From time to time Erica will have to remind me to check for childre as we spew obsenities at each other but outside of those who know me and those who are my peers I dont normally fly off the deep end. I just thought it was sad that a girl would do something like that and think her self cleaver. Try again dear!

Green Blood and Other Comical Things that are the 100% Truth!!!

1. Ok so I had to blog about this because I just witnessed a lady on the Tyra Banks Show. This lady was apparently terribly afraid of pennies....I know it sounds crazy but its 11:19 on Friday June 9, 2006 and I died laughing as I watched Tyra try and caress the pennies to show the girl that the pennies would not hurt her. It was so damn funny I just kept laughing and laughing!!!! "The pennies wont hurt you look, Im touching them so they cant hurt you!" WHAT THE HELL???? Then Tyra tells her that she has to dig to the bottom of the pennies in the aquarium to retrieve a $6000 watch. This lady begins to flick the pennies with her claw nails and after a few seconds finds the watch. "Was that so hard?" Tyra ask the girl as she gasp and looks dazed beside Tyra. LMAO...I know its wrong to laugh at these people but it's just so damn funny! In middle school when we learned about the people had the problem where they thought they were someone else or something else I couldnt contain myself then either. One lady was sick and thought that she was a candy cane and would contort her arms in as best a ciscle shape as she could. Its not funny but damn it's so damn funny!

2. I walked into the hell hole the Gap calls the break room and over heard a conversation that only belongs on Letterman or one of those shows.

"No....blood is green before it hits the air."

I couldnt believe what I was hearing... was this a real live conversation with real live people???? There was but one sole in the whole group of about 10 people who said "Um...I always thought blood was blue before it hit the air." You should have heard the uproar in response. One lady responded " No...blood is green before it hits the air....My mother told me that when I was little" What a damn shame. This bitches mother told her that blood was green before it hit the air. Maybe when you do drugs your blood is green before it hits the air but for us normal healthy earth beings....blood is blue. I couldnt let this ignorance continue so I did something I promised I would never do......I joined in on this conversation as I rounded the courner from where my locker was. " No...Blood is Blue before it interacts with Oxygen....thats why there were such things as Blue Vain Societys" "No blood is green!" they replied in unison. I setteled and writ them all of as dumb asses officially.

3. The Hills
Ive written about them already but I have to say that episode two only solidified that sentiment.
The fact that LC is only now realizing that her dear Heidi is a dumb ass is really sad. Who but a dumb ass skips her first day of classes.....she doesnt even know if she likes it or not.... Is she alergic to learning? Does she have a problem seeing the board and is too vain to wear glasses? Is she afraid of being called on in class? You know what the damn problem probably is....this bitch cant read! She's illiterate and is too afraid to admit it. Adult illitearcy is a seriouse problem and what she needs to do is pick up a simple book about Dick and Jane. See Jane shop. She is from Laguna Beach. See Dick surf. He has slept with your best friend. Some shit she can understand. The sad part is that LC didnt know her friend was a dumb ass. Far more sad than Heidis illiteracy...LC doesnt know who her real friends are. I know who all my friends are. I can identify all the dumb asses that I call friends right now.....I know who the dumb ass is, where that dumbass is, and what type of dumbass things that dumbass is probably doing. I wish Heidi the best of luck...I hope she does well at her new job but Im sure the dumb shit is gonna continue week after week.

4. Yesterday I was in Duane Reid and I was deciding if I was gonna pick up snacks there or wait and go to the actual grocer. I walked by an aisl with a boy stocking the shelves and hesitated and decided to come back to that aisl. When I reentered the aisl where the boy was he very loudly proclaimed "I knew you was gonna come on my aisl!" and gazed at me as If I had opened a trench coat to reveal a surprise just for him. I turnd from the facial tissue and said " Oh really?" in my typical smart ass Cassandra way. He asked if Ineeded any help with anything and in that very same smart ass Cassandra way I replied " Nope....There's not that much to tissue. I think I got it." He said " Is there anything else I can help you with in this aisl?" very suggestively...my response...." Nope....I only came to this aisl for the tissue!" He then chucks the trash he was holding from his stocking duties and exlaimed...."Awwww Man!!!" I apologized and picked up the cheapest box I could find since it was just snot that they would be used for and exited as soon as I could. NY men.... they slay me.

My Name is Cassandra and I am a Liar

I lied....

I do want kids....two a boy and a girl
I do want a husband.... a fine ghetto one that will cuss me out from time to time
I should'nt have permed my hair.....I miss my curls :(
I dont like Mos Def that much....Mos Def is a great muscian but thats all....Raheem Devaughn is my new lover
I dont wanna live in NY for the rest of my life.....I want to retire in a nice suburb with wide streets and tall trees


That is all.

The Hills (Explicit LanguageUsed)

Ok this show should be named The fucking CLOUDS or some air head type name because these girls are a disgrace to all young women across the world. I know there is a staunch following of those who love to watch the lives of these young people but I cant exept this. This upsets me far more than Flavor of Love could ever in terms of the necessity of a reality check. First off...the lack of reality in this so called reality tv series just boggles me. I find myself asking a series of rehtorical questions that are all answerd by "Their Parents".... Who pays the rent? Their Parents, Who payed for all the stuff in their apartment? Their Parents, Who would let their daughter move to go to school knowing damn well that shes an idiot and has no intention of actually trying to be the least bit of a student? Their Parents. If Heidi was my child, I would tell her after her first report card that at 18 shes out of my house! Thats what you have to tell the dumb ones, you have to be able to analyse their earning potential from early on.... if its low than you know their gonna try to mouch as long as they possibly can! Anyway...
There were two things that really pissed me off during the show. First off...Lauren...she may be very smart and all....snaps for LC but GOTDAMN...her directions were simple! NOBODY SITS HERE....THIS IS THE VIP SECTION.... Shit what did Blain have to do???? Get Jason to come and tell her... or get Jessica to come and say it to her after bitch slapping her I mean damn... The instructions were very simple and if her ass was smart she would die before she lets someone besides her own ass touch those fuckin seats.... I mean she was the one that was put on VIP duty...standing there in heels garding an area where NO VIPS CAME TO SIT AT !!!! Can we say grunt work, shit. If my boss asked me to stand in front of some chairs for the duration of a party in heels to be a big bitch and tell other people, not just other people but celebraties and people you really dont wanna piss off that they cant sit there because some VIP 's might...MIGHT wanna sit here I would know straight off the back that that was a test to see if I could follow directions. But no, Lauren not only lets her dumb ass, obviously nonchalant about all things outside of partying , friend Heidi sit and canoodle/fight with her ghetto ( and yes RICH WHITE PEOPLE CAN BE GHETTO) boyfriend and friend but she sits down to join them. I distincly remember Lisa Love saying that if she saw either her or Whitney sitting down at anytime they would be gone. LC better kiss Teen Vogue good bye! Thats what I mean about the lack of reality... we know shes not gonna get fired... Teen Vogue is too smart to let her go. Think of all the publicity they are getting by letting her fuck things up week after week. Trust me.. I know shes fucking shit up. I was an intern for four summers... Fucking shit up...its what we do as interns... that and waste copy paper! Anyway, she knew exaclty how important her first assignment was and what does she do? Sneak her ghetto ass friends into a party, sit down with them when she was specifically told not to, and then when shes approached by Blain and Lisa Love, she trys to play it cool like Lisa Love gives a damn who Brian is. Audacity! Sorry to say, and I know it might sound like Im a hater but shit... I'll sign up for that 12 step program and announce loudly

My names Cassandra and Im hating!!

I wish I would be given the opportunity to be an intern at Teen Vogue... I would be asking Lisa Love if her shoes needed another spitt shining since she walked down the red carpet. Now Im a fan of Laguna Beach obviously, and I did find it interesting. Its a peak into the lifestyle of the overpriveledged young adults of Laguna Beach. It was interesting to watch them and their daily concerns and trials and tribulations (Tribulations...hahaha Like that languge dont you... you thought I was talking about College Hill) Im not ashamed to say that I spent last Monday alternating between the Laguna Beach and the College Hill Marathon.

A large waste of 20 minutes....The Hills...which is also fucked up....what show runs 20 minutes...who the hell do they think they are. If Im gonna watch I want my whole 26 minutes of programming.

Now I know a lot of the show is slanted to what MTV woud like to show. Heidi may not be as dumb as she seems, and maybe they told her and her group of all to familar friends ( Did they go to Richmond for any period of time??' Im not surprised at all and I dont really see a plot in this story unless your some halfwitt wanna be who aspires to BE one of the members of Laguna Beach or The Hills. In that case you should be on another of MTV's shows "Why Cant I be You" that way the next morning when you realize the new low youve sunk to by admitting aloud and on public television that you wish you could BE someone else you could have it on tape and have it serve as a permanent reminder of how low youve been.

Graduation 2006 Continued

So the party was super fun and though it didnt turn out exactly how I wanted I was satisfied. My friends were there, my family came, and there was good food available. I'll have to do it up big again when I move into my apartment. Ive since arrived in NY and for the week Im just chillin. I dont start work at the GAP until next week and other than that my full time employment grind begins. Im glad to be here but New York has that exciting/eerie feeling that you get in big cities. Though there are so many people around sometimes your still by yourself and though you may think people are watching, they are often times not. In New York you mind your own damn businesse and keep it moving! Ive found a renewed sense of style...suddenly I have a number of really cute outfits to wear though they are the same clothes Ive been wearing since 1992. I guess my style has been reinvted since everytime I step out of my door I am greeted by a basketball court full of hot sweaty mens(LOL) Its fun to tease but I know my limits, I wont keep that up much longer cause they wont believe that I didnt hear them after so many attempts at holleration.

So thats that...Ive been chillin...hanging out around 125th and laying up relaxing. I went to visit Johnny yesterday and we had a nice little visit. I miss being around him... he makes me laugh so much and I love his style and his train of thought. We had a discussion on leggings and he debunked my theory that leggings could work with Bermuda Shorts...at the end we decided that fishnet leggings go with bermuda shorts but denim or cute ones. He gave me new shades (very Jackie O) and I replaced my old ones with them so now I have new cute stunna shades.
I stopped at the Soul Spot and got my fav Jerk Chicken, Mac and Cheese, Plantains and a large lemonaid. The best meal ever!!!! then headed up Court over to the B&N to pick up my maggies for the month. Talking to Erica...It kinda made me miss her as she contemplated silver pumps and I tried to help her decide if they would encorporate into her wordrobe and what colors complement silver. I really love my friends and I cant wait to have my own place and have dinner parties and invite my friends to the city to enjoy life.

Ive been reading Fabulosity by Kimora Lee Simmons and I have to say its a perfect articulation of the type of people me and my friends are. Some people see her and think shes over the top with her rhinestones.

"If I can have something custome-made in technicolr with rhinestones, I will. "
-KLS

You see...its this exact proclamation that her "bigger-than-life" style is entitled to her that I subscribe to. Though she may seem crazy there is absolutely nothing wrong with Rhinestones ( So there Erin) and though I may not exaclty desire to wear her line of garments I find myself continually inspired by her book and abound with wonderfully insightful away messages and quotes to adorn my facebook wall...I may even open a My Space account and send messages to all the poor girls out there who's accounts proclaim them as sex pots. With sections on Self Belief and Confidence, Work and Power, Indpendence, Image and Body, Romance and Lifestyle, and Positivity and Sustainability. The grandest part of the story is that we arent listening lsome high falutent tale of how she met Russel and he showered her with money and all of a sudden she is an authority on all things Fabulous, no....this book comprises her experiences,her guidance from fashion authorities, and a slew of quotes on the topics discussed. My sister said she wasnt that interested anymore since shed found out that she was no longer with Russel and I almost hit her over the head with the 264 page work, the whole point of the book is to show ladies that it doesnt take a man to land you where you are. You think Russel Simmons would have allowed her to launch BabyPhat into what it is today if she was some ghetto hoochie off the street?? Now you may be wondering......"Well why do all the garments look like they are made for Shaquita, Starlena, Kischantay, or Lafonta (Sam I hope you got the last one) who are straignt out of Highland Park...The Trap or South Cenral LA????




Exhibit A,B, and C

What the hell?? What are the belt loops for??? This tight ass thing aint goin nowhere!

In the words of my neo--"Agregious!!!"

I feel like Ive seen these on a spanish women in the Bronx

I have no answer for that.....but the fact remains you learn a lot about Kimora Lee and who she was before Russell. My exboyfriend called her a Golddigger in his ignorance. The truth is she was super model that served as the fit model for Chanel at the tender age of 15. For those of you who dont know what that means( as I didnt) is that you are the model that all the sizes and samples for a collection is based off, the fit model is the last model to walk at the collections debut, which is an honor in itself. Imagine being the finale at a CHANEL show....

All Im saying is that everyone should check out the book. Though its sort of written to target a young lady growing into her self...it does seem to help affirm an identity of fabuloisty that many arent aware of and are often times ridiculed.

My only concern is the over usage of the term Fabulous. I dont mean that Kimora uses the word excessivley or that there is some problem with int the book. I mean the over us by the general public. Yes everyone...Fabulous has become a catch phrase used by both the fab and the un fab. Kimora (because I feel so personally aquinted with her through her book) states that there is a large difference between fabulous and average. To paraphrase, average is everything that is normal...everything that your little cirlcle of friends does...what everyone aspires to is average....anything that is greatly saught after by many people is officially upon becoming desired by beyond hmmm I'll say 10, people and it is average....Its all about being different...thats whats fabulous...being innovative...being ahead of the trends, throwing trends to the wind and asserting your own sense of style, self, ideals etc. Average is far far from fabulous. So before you let that word roll from your tounge and out of you mouth...think long and hard about the true qualities of fabulousness and reconsider. Besides...I much more prefer the term Splendiferous! Check on it!

Graduation 2006 Style

Graduation turned out to be a really fun time. Truthfully I have alot of mixed emotions about graduation. As happy as I am to be a graduate of the University of Richmond with a degree in Urban Practice and Policy and Fashion Design from a school that cost over $40,000 to attend, I still dont feel like an alum. I suppose that around August I will begin to feel that usual tugging at my heart about returning to school and as I realize that I will not be I will feel like an alum. Maybe I will feel like an alum when I change my status on the facebook and stop getting invited to join random clubs because my underclassman have forgetten about me. Or maybe it will be when I realize that I am in New York and have a full time job and an apartment. Whatever it will take I dont have it just yet.
Ive moved from UR and Im awaiting my move to NY. This sunday I will pack what belongings will fit into my Uncles spare bedroom on Winthrop in Brooklyn and head off to the city of NY. As grand as that is...it really doesnt faze me much. Everyone thinks its such a grand thing and their first question is if NY is home for me. When I respond in the negative they then ask my purpose for leaving Richmond...I respond to work and their eyes widen in some fear for me. "New York is a busy city" or "Be Careful" they all warn and wish me good luck in as much of a genuine way as they can possibly muster but I know the underlying fear that I will in the end return with hurt feelings and brusied self esteem. I know how hard it is for many to think of New York outside of that "If I can make it there...I'll make it anywhwere" mentality but I really feel like Ive been there and done that and that its the best place for me. Im a city girl and I belong in the only city of consequence on the east coast.
Graduation was fun but it was tireing as hell... and to top it all off it rained like crazy. Either way...I dont have to do another damn thing for UR. It's funny...every now and then I will think of some little thing that I forgot to do...like fill out that life survey for Wellness and I worry just a little, then I rememeber that if it was that big of a deal they wouldnt have let me graduate... HAHAHA. There are a few things I didnt get to but nothing really worth stressing over. I was kinda upset for a second that I didnt make the Deans List this semester but I guess I asked for it when I decided to not stress over Finite Math. Missing it by a minus as opposed to the plus I got kinda ticked me off but its all good...I still made the GPA. Some say its no big deal but it was a personal goal.
I saw all the people I love with the exception of one at graduation. My friends came down to see me trip over a buckle in the carpet and to chill with me and have a great time. Sam arrived 9 in the damn morning (Gosh) and Erin arrived a little later that Saturday. We chilled for a little while then I ran off to grocery shop for my party. After returning a little late we headed over to Erica's to chill and talk shit to each other as we customarily do when we get together. We finally got our lives togther and convinced Shannon to have dinner with and headed over to Kobe. I have the best time when Im with those girls. I can be my ghetto progressive self, I can say whats on my mind and I can expect them to do the same for me. I really wish that I could be around them all the time like in junior year but we each must do our own thing. Im steadily trying to convince Erica to move to NY. Like me she too is a city girl..all this Richmond BS just isnt her style. She needs to progress to bigger and better things that can be found in NY....plain and simple. After dinner we decided against going out and ended up heading back to Ericas to talk more shit and sleep. After that Shan Shan took me hope and I rested up for the big day.
It rained cats and dogs the whole time and I got tired of the whole ordeal really quick. All I wanted to do was shake Cooper's hand and return to my room to watch Hitch again for fifth time. After spending most of the time laughing & joking with Sam and Erin from the top of the Stadium, graduation was finally over. I ran over to North court Reception Room and still wasn't able to rest the least bit. Between chasing after my nieces and nephews and trying to greet people before my nieces and nephews attacked them I only got to eat one cocoanut shrimp and two cups of punch! I was beat by the end of the night but it was worth it in the end: I had a great time and really appreciate all the love and gifts I got from everyone! After clean Up, I returned to my mom and chilled w/ S. Dot and E. Money who were leaving the next morning. Andrea came by later that night and we powwowed for a while. The next morning Sam had a dentist appointment which lead me to believe that that was the only reason she'd come to Richmond. Sam and Erin kept talking Shit about packing and I was not having it. Though I told my sister to arrive around 2 pm, I still had no desire to begin packing! I waited as long as I could then began to gather the last of my things and head out. If you know me... you know, hate packing and would rather throw everything away than move heavy boxes.
To Be Continued.....

Resolve

"Tell me when to go" by E-40 is a very crunk song of which I enjoy.



However...E-40 is still as wack as he was when he came out with that song Sprinkle Me


and I quote... ( All wackness in bold)

I be more hipper than a hippopotamus
Get off in your head like a neurologist
Pushin more weight than Atlas
Got a partner by the name of 2Pacalypse
The seven-oh-seven my roost go hella fall back to Floyd Terrace
I pull a forty out of my ballcap and den I flush it down my esopha-garus
The group that I'm with
The ClickShigge-D-Shot, LegitFamily orientated
Game related, it's the shit
Killing motherfuckers off crucial
Sittin em down mutual
Running through these lyrics as if I was fiberedlike Metamucil

Timah timah.... forty widah.. forty wide
Sprinkle me main, sprinkle me main, sprinkle me main, sprinkle me main
Big timah timah, big timah.... forty widah-ahh
Sprinkle me main, sprinkle me main, sprinkle me main
Kick that shit Suga

Resolve

RESOLVE: Salmon Pink and Lavender are the colors of the season.