Testing... Testing....123

Wow, this thing still works. Its a wonder considering my last post was some 5 monthes ago.


I wont bother to make some clever expalination as to why my post have disappeared I'll just quote one of my favorite poems and let it serve as evidence of a new day!

" OUT OF THE NIGHT THAT COVERS ME
BLACK AS THE PIT FROM POLE TO POLE
I THANK WHATEVER GODS MAY BE
FOR MY UNCONQUERABLE SOUL"


Peace Yall

Resolve

Resolve: Theres some hot shit out there right now....




-TI-Beat Down Low- How cute is TI, He reminds me of somone that would have went to John Marshall. I would have had a crush on him, LOL. Oh Tiny? Please, she should go plan a greatest hits album for Xscape, that will give her something to do. Let me find out I gotta go back and get those old TI albums. More than club music hhuuuu Mr. Tip Harris



-Rich Boy-Throw Some D's w/ Kanye West. Kanyes back on his shit I guess.



-Speakin of Mr. West...Heard Em' Say is my shit, not that its new or anything, I guess Im just really gettin with it. Baby used to say it was his song but I didnt really take it in. I really have been listening to it for the last 30 min, over and over and over again.




-Lloyd-You Remix- Lovin Andre 3000, Im falling in love with him all over again, especially the Whole Foods part. I used to go to Whole Foods in Union Square and have Sushi every now and again and read a mag while watching the park from above. Transcending again.



-JayZ-30 Something- Love the whole vibe. Not to sound funny but sometimes I forget im 22. Most of my friends are older 23-26-30 between there. Sometime I have to remind myself that Im not their age, Im younger. Gotta appreciate that while I can.


-The Secret


Ive read it once and have started a second time to absorb it a little more. I wont go off into a tangent about what the book is about because apparently its become very popular lately, and I suppose most people already know. I do have to say that while it seems unrealistic (thats the battle I had as I read the book) The book does help with postive thinking and refining your thoughts. Read it, I wont go further quoting and telling everything, you just gotta read it.











Something New- I just bought it on DVD, I know Im late, and I love it all over again. Again I fell the urge to give it to the white boy thats been giving me that look. Actually he looks Middle Eastern but the point is hes outside of my race and Im feelin the vibe of the movie. I remember seeing this with Danielle E. and Kim and loving it so much I went again the next day with Tonia and Danielle T. Definately a must see if you havent already, and if you havent, then just go buy it to to support the three fab black women that made it!

Peace Yall

Well Damn!

I got this in a forward from my older sister and I had to say it made me feel a little bad. Let me know what you think.

FWD:

BLACK PEOPLE, PLEASE, READ & HEED. POIGNANT.

The sad thing about this article is that the essence of it is true. The truth hurts. I just hope this sets more Black people in motion towards making real progress. Chris Rock, a Black comedian, even joked that Blacks don't read.Help prove them wrong! Read and pass on.Please Note:For those of you who heard it, this is the article Dee Lee was reading this morning on a New York radio station. For those of you who didn't hear it, this is very deep. This is a heavy piece and a Caucasian wrote it.

Dee Lee, CFP Harvard Financial Educators

Dee Lee

THEY ARE STILL OUR SLAVES We can continue to reap profits from the Blacks without the effort of physical slavery Look at the current methods of containment that they use on themselves: IGNORANCE, GREED,and SELFISHNESS.

Their IGNORANCE is the primary weapon of containment. A great man once said, "The best way to hide something from Black people is to put it in a book." We now live in the Information Age. They have gained the opportunity to read any book on any subject through the efforts of their fight for freedom, yet they refuse to read. There are numerous books readily available at Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.com, not to mention their own Black Bookstores that provide solid blueprints to reach economic equality (which should have been their fight all along),but few read consistently, if at all.

GREED is another powerful weapon of containment. Blacks, since the abolition of slavery, have had large amounts of money at their disposal.Last year they spent 10 billion dollars during Christmas, out of their450 billion dollars in total yearly income (2.22%).Any of us can use them as our target market, for any business venture we care to dream up, no matter how outlandish, they will buy into it.Being primarily a consumer people, they function totally by greed. They continually want more, with little thought for saving or investing.They would rather buy some new sneaker than invest in starting a business. Some even neglect their children to have the latest Tommy or FUBU, And they still think that having a Mercedes, and a big house gives them"Status" or that they have achieved their Dream.They are fools! The vast majority of their people are still in poverty because their greed holds them back from collectively making better communities.With the help of BET, and the rest of their black media that often broadcast destructive images into their own homes, we will continue to see huge profits like those of Tommy and Nike. (Tommy Hilfiger has even jeered them, saying he doesn't want their money, and look at how the fools spend more with him than ever before!). They'll continue to showoff to each other while we build solid communities with the profits from our businesses that we market to them.

SELFISHNESS, ingrained in their minds through slavery, is one of the major ways we can continue to contain them. One of their own, Dubois said that there was an innate division in their culture. A "Talented Tenth" he called it. He was correct in his deduction that there are segments of their culture that has achieved some "form" of success.However, that segment missed the fullness of his work. They didn't readthat the "Talented Tenth" was then responsible to aid The Non-Talented Ninety Percent in achieving a better life. Instead, that segment has created another class, a Buppie class that looks down on their people or aids them in a condescending manner. They will never achieve what we have. Their selfishness does not allow them to be able to work together on any project or endeavor of substance. When they do get together,their selfishness lets their egos get in the way of their goal Their so-called help organizations seem to only want to promote their name without making any real change in their community.They are content to sit in conferences and conventions in our hotels,and talk about what they will do, while they award plaques to the best speakers, not to the best doers. Is there no end to their selfishness? They steadfastly refuse to see that TOGETHER EACH ACHIEVES MORE (TEAM)They do not understand that they are no better than each other because of what they own, as a matter of fact, most of those Buppies are but one or two pay checks away from poverty. All of which is under the control of our pens in our offices and our rooms.Yes, we will continue to contain them as long as they refuse to re ad,continue to buy anything they want, and keep thinking they are "helping"their communities by paying dues to organizations which do little other than hold lavish conventions in our hotels. By the way, don't worry about any of them reading this letter, remember, 'THEY DON'T READ!!!!

First of all she steps out with a bang, "Their still our slaves..." I gasped at that one and had to calm myself in order to read on, but as she stated next and throughout the article these are all means that we use to hold ourselves down. While this is mostly true of many black people, I have to say that the same thing definitely happens to white people and other races. Though slavery has been over for some time now, there isn't that much catching up that we can do. I wonder how many of these "rich" white people ( and other races too) inherited the riches that they continue to build today. If you take all I have then tell me to build from the ground up while you already are touching the tree tops what would you expect.

The other points of interest in this article are the points on education. I have to say that many black people don't like to read, and I have heard that adage about hiding things from black folks in books. I'm guilty of this myself as I couldn't bring myself to finish Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki's book on finances, " I wasn't getting into it", but finished Carmen Bryans book in no time. Was knowing that Jay-Z "plays the violin" or the size of Nas' manhood that important to my life. I think not. I have however taken the first step of recognizing that there are things that I would like to bone up on. Everyone (every black person) have to be a genius and wealth of knowledge on every topic but a conscious effort to know a little is worth it. I mean, every white person ain't rich or smart

Many of the things she sights as our weapon of containment are more deeply rooted than she presents them and to look at them psychologically they will reveal deficiencies that stem from slavery. For that matter I think it pretty damn arrogant of her to fly off the handle in a sense and make superficial observations of the black race. Id like to see her address the psychology of our state rather than make what is clearly obvious and pretty general statements.

I don't know, what do y'all think?

Resolve: 2007

Wow 2007 is here already. Truthfully it feels like we should be coming up on Halloween. Maybe that's that post grad thing. Ive been feeling this resolution thing for a while now as I'm sure you've noticed, and I'm really glad that the new year has started even though it doesn't feel quite so new.

Ive been big on astrology lately(among other things) and I just had to read my 'scope for 2007

Gemini:(May 21 - June 20)1) You've felt stuck, and you're sick of it. Your top resolution is to stop pretending to enjoy what you don't - including the company of that coworker who's been undermining you. 2) That relationship issue you've been stalling? Stop stalling. Make it or break it. 3) If relocating for work is an option, go for it.4) By October, end that argument with your sibling or neighbor.5) Plan to be in your own home by the holidays.


pretty accurate. The funny thing about horoscopes is that they don't ever really tell us things we don't already know but it amazes us that others know without us telling them. I had a psychic reading this past summer... did I blog about that.... and he told me things that I already knew but again the kicker was that he knew them without me uttering more than my name.


So here we go.... the resolutions....

1. Do not buy magazines before the first of each month

Every month I buy maggies as soon as they hit the shelves and by mid month Im yearning for more when I really cant say that Im totally satiated from what I have. I keep my mags. They are reference points of inspiration that allow me to be the fashion connossier that I am. A little deeper study will make them that much more of a tool for me.

2. Refrain from a helpless complain

So Ive come to realize that Im a complainer. Not in exactly the helpless woa is me sort of way but in the "can you believe this shit" sort of way. Other shock and aww aint gonna make things diff. Keep it moving, onward, progress, havent those always been my so called motivators...why should little matters of annoyance be exempt from that same attitude????

3. Get Money, Fuck Bitches

Im so tired of shaking my head at dumb asses that just begg the question " what the fuck" at their meer existance. This year Im done asking where the hell things went wrong for them because usually you can spot that shit a mile away. My main concern, "gettin money" as my boo would say. Its not all about the benjamins, but its all about the options. Get that in your spare time.

4. Eat healthier

Since Ive been home my mom is slowly converting me into an organic semi vegan. The only reason its working is because she knows how to put her foot into about everything she makes and the aroma she can create from a kitchen using only vegatables and Tofu can have any unsuspecting person fooled.

5. Read more

Ive already detailed why this is so important, not only is it simply vital to keep up but its part of my effort to really enhance my mental state.

6. Start running again

Exercise is always good and really I miss the peace of mind of a few laps around the track, plus wanting to drop a few pounds is never a bad thing.

7. Keep New Years resolutions

The hardest of all resolutions. The main problem is that by Feb most people have forgotten what they resolved to do and end up settling back down into their normal routine. I hope that with this hard copy/public copy I will be just a bit better at keeping up.

Well thats it...wish me luck and hopefully next year I'll be able to say I kept my resolutions. We'll see :)

*****Beep! Beep!********

So, I bought the most amazing shade of nail polish that I have ever experienced in my entire nail painting life. Its a wonderful shade of shimmery brown from Red Door that makes my skin look so damn chocolaty that if put to the test I'm sure would have a 98.9% return rate on a kiss upon the very supple top that is my hand. Plus Ive managed to paint both hands without painting the whole top of each finger then removing the excess.
Oh God .....ME!
*Excuse my me-gasm, but I just had to ensure that this little horn of my was still in working order.

Bringing Back Sweet Memories

So, as I unpacked some of my things that I had boxed up after I left school last spring I came across somethings that made me reminisce on me and the me back then. It seems like that time in my life was worlds away from where I am today and I cant even begin to imagine what I'm gonna be like another six months from now. As I placed all my books from African American history with Kibibi McShelton, and Post Soul with Bertram Ashe back onto my desk and radar I laughed at some of the notes and things I had. I really need to finish/start some of those books I'm supposed to have long read, enjoyed and absorbed . I came across my proclamation night letter. Having received it long ago I guess I didn't really have time to marvel at myself and fully understand the advise I wanted to impart on myself in all my Freshman naivety and intelligence.




Cassandra Brown,
2002 Freshman Year. As you prepare to wrap up your final year of post secondary school please keep in mind that you have so many things in store for yourself. Be sure to remember where you have come from, what you have been thru and what you aspire to achieve in the coming years of your life. Hopefully you have learned to strive for goals and reach them, how to love and truly value yourself and how to be a positive person. Other things like getting a BMW and staying with Dwight David Parrish Jr. are nice to have but are not the source of your accomplishment. It being September 2006 you are very ready to move on to bigger and better things that await you and they will continually await you. You have made it through Econ 101 and CORE and the many other challenging classes that your major has required you to suffer through. You should be ready to start your mid level job with J.P. Morgan or Merril Lynch and marriage looms later in life.
I love you since I am you and I know I love you more than anyone else in your life with the exception of God. Keep him in your life and you will be continually happy.

Peace Out
Cassandra Brown






It hilarious to see how much I differ from the day that I wrote this letter to myself. I remember thinking very carefully about what I wanted to say to myself the three years later that I would read it. Funny the things you know but are sometimes reluctant to fully believe. Anyway, I felt a little inspired by my own word and even a little proud of myself for being so earnest. Now if I had only been smart enough to leave my self a $20.....guess I didn't see being broke in my future.


Peace

Cap City

I'll skip the formalities.... cause if you know me at all you know why I havent posted in umpteen years.

So being back in Richmond is sorta like visiting your elementary school. Everything is far smaller and far less seriouse than it was when you were caught up. It's been good to see my cirlcle and get back in the swing of VA life but Im ready to leave again. Im realizing just how slow it is and how much I miss NY. Soon enough I'll be back in the city doin what I do best in NY. Staying in the house....lol!


So Im flying low on the radar for a few monthes so I can reinvent myself. Now when I say that I dont mean like Diddy. More ina Jay Z Kingdom Come sorta way. I mean on some real shit like, changing what I read, changing the way I think, changing up my look, and basically getting on some other shit.... my shit! Im talkin life plan with life changing goals every four years. Ive been doing massive amounts of self reflection and im doing a little butterfly type thing for a while. Dont be mad when I dont post for monthes on end. When Im done everything will be revealed and I think you'll appreciate it and if you dont one thing will reamain the same.... I wont give a shit.


Smooches

Smile for me Cassy :)

What did you do?

What did you say?

Did you walk - or did you run away?

Where are you now?

Where have you been?

Did you go alone - or did you bring a friend?

I did'nt know this - but I noticed when you're smilin'

Out in the sun havin' fun and you're feelin' free

And I can tell you know how hard this life can be,

But you keep on smilin' for me

What went right?

What went wrong?

Was it the story - or was it the song?

Was it overnight - or did it take you long?

Was knowing your weakness what made you strong?

Or all the above - oh how I love to see you smilin'

And oh yeah - take a little pain just in case

You need something warm to embrace

To help you put on a smilin' face

Hey, put on a smilin' face

Don't you go off into the new day with any doubt

Here's a summary of somethin' that you could smile about:

Say for instance, my girlfriend she bugs me all the time

But the irony of it all is that she loves me all the time

I want to be you - whenever I see you smilin'

Cause it's easily one of the hardest things to do

Your worries and fears become your friends

And they end up smilin' at you

Put on a smilin' face

-Gnarles Barkley - Smiley Faces

Mercury is in retrograde and Im back in VA

Well not yet at least, but I'm on my way in about two weeks or so.


So isn't that what they say when the shit hits the fan. I don't know what retrograde means (or really how to spell it----but that's never stopped me before) and I'll probably need to google mercury and what affect it has on life. The point is that mass mayhem has commenced for me and a number of my friends and family and all I can do is yank my neck back in that "What the fuck" sort of way.

They always say its bad luck to have a black cat cross your path, but what does it mean when you cross paths with a black cat that is in the midst of taking a shit. All constants remaining, you know the hissing, the glowing eyes, back hunched, with hair raised. Sorry to be so crass but I had to ponder that one as I progressed home after a long exhausting day of what I can approximate as nothing much at all. Call it nonchalance but the recent adventures in the life of Cassandra "She does not have a middle name" Brown have been one(actually a few) for the books, but far from necessary to documenting in this BEAUTIFULLY DEEP blog.

This Friday night, I'm vegging out. No phones, no AIM, nothing much at all except Bridget Jones Diary and sleeping. With that said, let the vegging commence.

PEACE

John Legend fulfulls my dreams

So who's super excited about John Legends new album. I know I am. The vibe of the video is amazing and all I can do is imagine that Im the pretty black girl the he wakes up with and goes home with in the end. Just a little more thick and womanly but just as beautiful(if not more). John knew he had to start and end with a black girl, I was slightly offended when I saw the other girls but at the end of the day love is love and it definately doesnt matter what someone's color is. The fantasy would have been so much more real for all us black girls who aspire to be kept while keeping if the girl was black the whole time. Either way Im excited for his album to drop. More good new music and yall know how much I love good music!!

Peace

I shoulda listened to my Mama

Its cold as hell outside, and I should have expected that up here in the North but it was 83 degrees yesterday and today its 53 degrees. SHIT! I thought I was covered in my dress and stalkings but no not so much. When my Mom said "Your gonna learn when that New York Wind hits you" I laughed, now all I can do is try to hold my hair from my lips so it doesnt get in my lip gloss, that shit is so annoying. Oh well, another excuse to shop!

It was good to get home before 10pm tonight. Im normally at work until 10 or so and to get home at 8:45 I was so geeked up. I stopped at the Fuh Wah ( Flatbush's best chinese takeout spot, yall know how we do in Brooklyn) and picked some food for my veg session.

So call me a lame but I just discovered three very good shows that have been on apparently forever. The Wire is such a good show. Coming at the reference of a friend I have found a replacement for Flavor Of Love which is ending in the near future. According to Tonia (for whom I must confirm all things) this show has been on the air for at least three seasons. Where have I been? Under a rock???
I caught Nip Tuck as well and it's cute, Grey's Anatomy is cool too in a very modern ER sorta way. I love the whole introspective vibe.

Speaking of introspective, lately Ive caught my self in a daze staring at my nails or off into the tunnel where I expect my train. Ask me what Im reflecting on and I have no clue. Its more like scheming, how do I get 1.3 million dollars for a Brownstone?, more importantly, where am I gonna move next month? What the hell do I buy to keep warm, will I really need to buy one of the haneouse North Face coats and Timberland Boots to make it through an NY winter??? Am I gonna go to homecoming or not??? Im thinking deep about whats to com and on one hand I wanna think about it but on the other I wanna just pray that God shows me the way. Its all my bosses fault really, my newest assignment has been to make a 20 year plan for my self. When she first mentioned it I sighed in deep displeasure but now its got me staring off in a daze trying to figure out where the hell Im going with my life. I mean "If you dont have a destination any road will get you there"(or whatever the hell they say) but then "The best layed plans...." Yall know what the hell Im trying to say? Your damned if you do, your damned if you dont.

So im staring off into the distance, dont mind me, Ive just got alot on my mind.

What so ever you sew you will reap.



Feeling very Elle Woods right now........... and it wasnt a bad salad.

Resolve

Resolve: Beyonce is the shit.

If you didnt already know then I think you know now after her performance on the VMA's for MTV. Did you see that Boot/Step Routine....You know the Zi Zi Zi Chapter of Blah Phi Blah is gonna use that shit the first chance they get.

Oh and by the way.....I can tell you exactly what Jay-Z was thinking while he watched his girl perform.


"Damn if you let me go????? Shiiiiiiiiittttt, Damn if I let you go! "

Thats if hes smart of course!

Just when I thought.....

Just when I thought I would have to join the ranks of the bubble machine sales men on the side of the street(you know the one that sells that crawling baby and lets it crawl in the middle of the sidewalk so that people can trip over it). .... Just when I thought I might have to get a shish kabob stand and start selling jerk and curry shish kabobs on the street. ...Just when I thought I was going to have to compose some sort of routine to perform in the Time Square Train Station with a hat on the ground to collect my change....Just when I thought I might have to join a survey group and start harrasing unsuspecting people in central park.....I got a job.

Please address me as the Assitant to the Owner of the Michelle New York Boutique and Bridal Salon.

Smooches



(Thanks to all my friends and family that supported me during this very hard time of uncertainty and frustration)

"When The Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts"

Once again Spike Lee has shown us the real truth about Hurricane Katrina a disaster that what we thought we knew all about. The four hour four part documentary had me in uncontrolable tears on and off throughout the showing of each part. To think about the way that people were torn from their homes, torn from their families then tossed into the world and expected to fend for themselves. To see the man not to much older than I speak of finding his mother crushed under the refridgerator in their kitchen after being told that thier home had already been searched and found empty. To see the eight year old girl run to her mother after being seperated from her for 3 monthes. To see the man describe how his bed ridden mother died right in front of his face as they waited for buses to take them out of the hell that they had to endure. The buses did not come for another four days after his mother died. She had no chance. To see the bodies floating in the water that had finally subsided. To see the people klinging to each other trying to stay together trying to stay in their faith with prayers that someone come and help them. For five days these people had to wait for food, water, assistance anything that would even give them the slightest idea of what the hell they had just been through much less any idea of wether or not their going to be able to move forward.
With more wreckage than 25 world trade center disasters, all because some group of people decided that 10 feet was good enough as opposed to 17, or that walls were ok as opposed to a true flood prevention mechanism. Then to top it off to hear them say that they will have the flood wall that took 40something years to build repaired in 8 monthes. Yeah, dont feel strange when your eyebrow raises and you stare off into space the way to try and figure out if what you heard made any damn sense. Where was everyone? Condeleza Rice was shoe shopping at Ferragamo, followed by a viewing of Spamalot( She was accosted by a white lady at Ferragamo, and booed when the lights came up at the show.....exactly what her ass deserved). Bush didnt interupt his vacation and when he did arrive he had his whole show set up and timed of course to present him in the best light.

Kanye said it best....

BUSH DOESNT CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE

Covering all the theories and suggestions, even the one that suggest that the levees were bombed in order to wipe out the entire 9th ward in order to clear out the predominantly poor neighborhood.I encourage everyone to catch the reshowing. All four acts will be shown Tuesday, Aug. 29 (8:00 p.m.-midnight), the first anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Trust me, you wanna see it. You need to see it and if you have any concern for the world around you you will be sure to clear your schedule so that you can watch it uninterupted.


I wont go on just watch it.

Chicken Noodle Soup with a Soda on the Side/Guess Who's Bizzzaaaccckk

Alright, so I posted a pretty depressing post last time around (which was a while ago actually) but I'm better now. Of course when its been far to long between a blog I have to do a table of contents, besides some things I have to say are just random unrelated thoughts. Read at your own leisure.

Oh and the title.....Just let it Raaaaaaaaaaiiiinnnn and Clear it Ouuuuuuuttttttt

1. That Big Decision that I had to make

So after a few weeks of feeling pitiful about myself I have decided that I will indeed stay in NY. Its been a long hard road and I know there's a pot of gold at the end. I'm frustrated and tired but I'm gonna keep truckin. Enough of that talk, I have a new mantra and its simple and concise and sums an attitude that is intolerant of all things intolerable including drama, wackness, pity, and self doubt.....
ONWARD
Try it the next time someone or something tries to slow you up with some nonsense. Simply proclaim ONWARD and the BS will subside!

2. Flavor of Love and other very interesting Reality Series

So I wont ask who caught the latest two episodes of Flavor of Love because I know everyone who is anyone watched as Somethin shat on herself and the crazy bitch (who never made it to the naming ceremony)offered lip chap and beat downs. It will make for a very interesting season and unfortunatly I don't see Flave finding love in the end. His best bet is to call up New York and try to get on her Momma's good side because the slew of hot ghetto messes he has wont take him far. Among other very interesting television, because I have time to catch up....I sat down to watch the Janice Dickinson Modeling School show and turned after the first commercial. First of all that bitch is MAD and second of all, something about the title and the star remind me of that "Zoo Landers School for children who want to learn to read better" or whatever. Waste of air time if you ask me. So Laguna Beach is in its second class or whatever and I'm having the same problem that I had when I stepped foot in my first class at T.C. Williams, and the same problem that I had when I stepped foot onto the University of Richmond's Campus. I cant tell all the white girls apart. This time around they all have the same damn face and the same hair. Its gonna take at least the first four episodes for me to figure out who's who. At least last season Jessica had her own look, LC had that square jaw, and Kristen had the short blond hair, while that other girl that kissed Jason had that boyish figure and that harsh face. Not to be mean though. In other television Project Runway is proving to be a great season and I'm praying that Michael isn't as gay as he sounds. He's a designing wonder and I'm so proud of him for winning two challenges in a row. Way to show those snooty biothes(mainly that Laura) who sets the trends! I'm rooting for him and hope that Heidi Klums slip up in a recent comment that she made saying that Michael didn't make it into the top three was referring to some other top three and not the final to three. The boy is bad and he keeps it so real that I cant wait to see where he lands, because we all know that they always make it some where. Kara Sann designs for Heide at her whim, Jay is launching his own line (though in his own sweet time), we all saw that little gay boy working on Lisa Rayes wedding dress in Preston Bailys: Mr. Fabulous feature, and the other girl took her money and ran back to Texas to open up shop selling her line. Speaking of those who keep it real I have to mention the Keishia Cole series "The Way it Is" On her last episode she met up with her Mom for which she hasn't seen in one complete year. That's some real shit when you confront your mother who just got off of drugs and your sister who is heading down an alcoholic path. I love Keisha Cole for her ability to tell it like it is and to never be ashamed of where she comes from while still seeking to progress. Thats definately whats up!


I'm definatly looking forward to the Fantasia Burino Story airing on Lifetime this Saturday. Ive already requested off from work and set my reminder timer so that I dont miss it watching a Different World on Nick at Night. I'm hoping to learn more about the American Idol and the hard road that it took to make it to Jamie Fox kissing status! I need all the tips I can get!


3. Cassie (Not me...but the girl in the dance studio trying to be sexy)

Ok, so I know lots of people have a problem with Cassie and I have to take a complete numbered section to dedicate to her. Everyone may have their reservations about her but I really have love for Cassie! So here goes.....

1. We share the same name...
Its ironic that our name has its origin in a witch that no one beleived and the fact that no one believes that Cassie can sing. I'm just sayin, what a sad coisidence.
2. Shes a normal girl just like you and me...
She's never afraid to talk about her talent or lack there of. I saw her on 106 and Park and it wasnt pretty but she tried to hold it down. She really did! And I quote....

"I am aware that my live performances have been pretty bad....no excuses, I'm still getting over stage fright. I am very upset with the series of events this week and I do not appreciate people making me look and sound crazy. I'm not a a whore or a b*tch, which is what people have been making me out to be. I'm a 19 year old girl, I'm single and I'm working my ass off."
http://www.myspace.com/cassiemyspacemusic
Yeah Cassie, You just tell everyone to FALL BACK, its not easy coming up in the music industry with a shaky voice that requires you lip synch for live performances. SHEEEESSSSHHH

4. Shes a hard worker!

Cassie works very hard on her music and just because she cant sing it in public doesnt mean that she isn't a great artist, I mean who needs to belt out chords like Aretha when God has replaced quality voices with quality technology. You do the math! Cassie cares about her image. Why else would she spend a full four minutes practicing her moves in a dance studio alone to express the true meaning of her song Me and U. I mean, the clear meaning is in the lyrics. " I know them other guys/ They been talkin bout the way I do what I do/ They heard I was good they wanna see if its true." Shes clearly talking about dancing She cares alot about her image and wont stand for just any image being put out about her.....And again I quote....

"This song is VERY suggestive, and I am VERY particular about my image and I kept it clean to preserve my name and image. ThereÂ’s no guy because I personally felt that it would have been tacky. Yes, I bet youÂ’re wondering, how would she know if she didnÂ’t do it? Â…Well, the truth is, is that I did shoot a video for this song before. It was extremely low budget and it was before I signed to a label. Unfortunately that BAD video thatÂ’s going around, I felt like it scarred the very beginnings of a promising future. No matter my excitement while making the video, I was not thinking for Cassie. Before I had a chance to voice my opinion someone had leaked it in itÂ’s raw form."
http://www.cassie.ns4life.com/

How unfortunate for Cassie. The video that leaked was a clear misinterpretation of what she really was saying when she wrote "Me and You"!


You be the judge

http://ybf.blogspot.com/2006/08/cassie-is-that-you.html
(check out the vid and the other quality reading items of the YB&F Blogspot)

See, I know just as well as Cassie that its hard out her for a pimp and that you hardly ever get your props when they are due to you. Its for that reason that I have love for Cassie. Cassie you keep it goin and I will hold you down, my name sharing sister!



Then again, I do have one question. Why on didn't didnt Diddy put Cassie through the same hazing process that he put his Spring 2006 line Danity Kane through before he initiated Cassie into the Diddy Phi Diddy Music Sorority. I mean, a little of that running around and 72 hour challenges could have done Cassie some good. Dont get me wrong, she's my girl and all but she could stand a walk to Juniors and a moment contemplating "What is Preserving My Sexy beautiful big producer P Diddy?" And I know Lori Anne defindidn't didnt compose that little jerky number she did in that video. Hmmmmmmmmmm I wonder??????

4. The state of my treses

So my hair is looking like who shot John and forgot to kill him! I've already admitted that I shouldnt have permed my hair and for the time that I have been in the city I have wavered back and fourth about growing it out or continuing. I havent found a place of worship, where I can bow my head back to the God blessed hands of a liscenced stylist for rejuvination. Hense Ive been looking particularly deranged. At one inch per month, its gonna take a good 10 monthes to restore my treses to normalcI'mand Im not sure I can endure that journey with out some assistance. My solution involves additions. Now in my circle extensions have been frowned upon for various reasons and I have definatly participated in weave dissing(I keep my PBC in my wallet for when people get it twisted and try to act brand new about some of my commI'mts. Im card carrying and unashamed. All those closet members need to go ahead and embrace their Platinum Status( Snaps for Erin, that was ultra clever and I had to use it)), but some of these weaves dont know their place. When your tracks extend from the middle of our head and progress to the front in an attempt to make a swoop or bang youve crossed the line. Ive heard stories from friends where a lack of tracks has forced them to sew braids together, or do the unthinkable..... gel their hair over tracks to creat an illusion. Its one thing to fake it until you make it, but how much are we really trying to I'mke. Im not trying to make I'mch, Im really just trying to call a TIME OUT on the upkeep of my own tresses by calling in a stunt (and I will be stunting) double. Now, some of the weaves i have seen in the past have tried to take the the general public for straight up fools. Extensions can be fun and liberating, but all in moderation. You cant have layers within your own hair then add another 12 inches and expect people to take you seriously. Thats obsessive and obnoxiouse and just plain out of order.I'me...Im not going for that I'mok. Im going for the Beyonce, Cherish, Rhianna hair look that I could really do on my own but for convenience sake would be better off infultrated. So there.

5. Two Reunions in Less than a week! EGAD!

So in an impromptu trip home I got the chance to hang out with two of my sisters that I love and respect so much. Val is my sister from another mother considering we have the same last name and Tonia is just my sister by support and trust! We retreated to Ruby Tuesdays for drinks and plain old misbehaving. When we were met by a bartender couldnt tend the bar we (well I) made it a point to berate him via a note. It wasnt as much berating as much as calling attention to the fact that he couldnt even make some simple drinks that were flavorful yet more creative than vodka and cranberry. After a lovely meal and tons of those "I wish I was still an undergraduate student" sighs we all wished each other the best of luck and headed our seperate ways. Me back to NYC and Val to William and Mary for Grad School (I am so proud of her) and Tonia back to UofMD to finish her Masters in Education(which will take her only one complete year to complete because shes fly like that). I love that my friends are so directed. It allows me the comfort and leisure of being the Lynn in this Girlfriends episode we call life.

After returning home renewed and refreshed I got up with the ABBB FABBB Julee Wilson for further encouragement. What started as a coffee meeting after work on Friday turned into a nap on her and Jens Couch, Catching up on Flavor of Love to find out exactly what that rank smell was that they had mentioned in the previews, A surprise visit from the One and ONLY Erin Richelle, Great Sushi, Getting drunk at a cute little restaurant/club, Me being very friendly with a guy from Spain and a guy from Cali (but not as friendly as one of our enterouge members), Me being dressed up in a short, horizonatl strip spandex dress(dont laugh),Some obscene pics of us acting out, Still being drunk the next morning, a great brunch, and then finding myself right back at work the following evening. Bossy was our theme song for the night and we definately ran the show! In the end I was able to make that big decision that I had to make and I was so renewed to have seen some of my most favorite people that I ever met. Great times and great friends!

Hey Ladies " We in the car, we ridin slow, we doin things that the girls dont do! The boys stare, we smile back ... somethin somethin somethin... SHOWSTOPPIN!"

6. Fall in the City
I'm
So Im so excited to be in NY for the fall. The fall is when it all goes down. Everything is going on, everyone is back in the city from summer vacations in the Hamptons and such, and above all the weather is a little less brutal. I am so excited to get the ball rolling and get my life kicked off. There is so much to look foward to. The fall foilage at Bryant Park and Central Park. Being able to breath in the fresh crisp air (or at least the crisp air). Fall fashion is gonna be hanI'mus (Im planning to overdo it on the grays accentuated with bright obnoxious colors (especially royal purple) !!!! (but thats just me) and I get to pick out a winter coat!! Last summer I had to snatch up a diagonally zippered winter white wool pea coat by Kenneth Cole, which I found for a sI'mal. Im hoping to have a repeate of that, where I fall in love with a wonderful coat and pair of boots and start planning the fall around that!!! So, if you wanna come and see me, the best time to come is the Fall its gonna be great, I know it!

7. TI'mngs Im looking forward to

So beside all the other great things that go on in the city in the Fall I am so excited about the excess of truely good music that is coming out in the next few weeks.

Whos super excited for B-Day!!! I know I am. Dejavu was great and Ring the Alarm had me pumping my feminist fist all up in the air. And I quote " I be damned if I see another chick on your arm!" Finally a song that recognizes the fact that we women spend monthes and years molding( And Fuck what ya heard, you do have to mold a man, they dont come out of the box ready for use) these men into the sauve, gentele, well mannerd gentalmen. I remember having a conversation with Dr. Cade about how she had to mold her man into the the man he is today. She sent in his Dental School applications and everything when after asking him what his plans for the future were and his response was " I I'mink Im gonna buy a truck". When he came into the office to pick up her car for its oil change and offered to get her a ham biscuite while at Ukrops I knew that molding would forever be my standard relationship procedure. Theres a quote by Virginia Wolfe that I love about fashion that goes "Vain Trifles as they seem clothes change our view of the world and the worlds view of us" and the crazy thing is that, that also applies to men. "Vain trifles as they seem, Men change our view of the world and the worlds view of us. How is it that a women can be on cloud 9 when she is in love and rock bottom when her man has done her wrong. How is it that we know when that BITCH that is always nagging and complaining is finally getting some because her whole demenor flips. Front if you want ladies but when you have a man your are a differnt women both better and worse, thats the way it goes!

Danity Kane or Whakity Name as my favortive blog named them ( I thought that shit was so funny)are coming out with their albuI'mand Im super excited! I had to say a special prayer that "Sleep On It" made it to the album because I found myself singing along to a few of the tracks as I watched the television series. "Sleep on It"," Ride For You" and "Show Stopper" have me super excited about the album. Now I cant help but go through the group and list my favs and of course Dawn and D. Woods are my top picks. Besides them being the two black girls in the group I love their style and personalitys. D Woods brings that fine balance between ghetto chic and R&B queen to the group while Dawn is that easy going songtress. Truthfully all the others are nice but unimpressive. Beside the little(almost non existant) one Aubrey (maybe) she can blow and I appreciate her earnest singing and the soul in her voice. Sorry but the other two are fillers. You cant have a group of three because one always ends up in the middle which automatically creates an air of supremacy between members, and we all know what that can lead to. In a nut shell I cant wait for Virgin to open on the 22nd for me to rush and pick up the aI'mum, Im officially a card carrying DK Fan Club member. I admit!


So I know this post was ridiculously long and full of run on and poorly written paragraphs but between that and my clever little antedots, thats the reason you guys read. Plus, yall know what the hell I mean!


Smooches!
Peace Yall!

Free

Free like a willow tree
Free like a summer's eve
Free like the waves are crashing on a solitary beach
Free like a bumblebee
Free like the open sea
Free like the minute, second, moment when you hold me closely
Free like a flying dove
Free like the moon above
Free like the four letters that spell out L-O-V-E love
Free like the bluest sky
Free like the wings up high
Free like... free like...free like....free like
Free like the brown in my eye
Free like the tears that I cry
Free like...free like....free like... free like



I know I havent updated in a long time but there isnt much to be said right now. Im going through some things and when I make my decisions, you'll hear it here first.

Peace and Love

Resolve

Confessions on a Dance Floor is officially my ish! Madonna has never really really appealed to me until I worked with Johnny. He put me on to her along with The Scissor Sisters and Gwen Stefani. Ive learned so many things about white music from working at Johnnys and the GAP(please dont trip) like how to say super cute in japanese and many other valuable lessons. Confessions has something for everyone. I spent about 30 min in Virgin previewing the album before I copped it and all I wanted to do was take an extasy pill and break out some glow in the dark jewelry. You know the kind you get at the fair!!! Apparently there are a variety of lava lamp'ish jewelery that displays the number of people youve slept with or the number of pills youve taken....something like that ( I learned that at Thompson Middle School when we were tutoring for the SOLS)

The point is....Confessions is a great album and it may be what gets me through the summer. If you know me at all you know that I am always using music to transcend space and time. Music has a way of allowing people to identify moments in their lives, and I definatley use music for that reason. Just the way Will Smith makes you feel summerish when you hear "Summer Time" thats what music does for me on a regular basis. Confessions is really making me thing about my first summer as a resident of NYC, Plus Jump from the album was used in The Devil Wears Prada and I'll have to explain what a profound effect that movie had on my life in another blog or we would be here alllllll night!

Peace OUT!

Blog of no significance

So Ive been doing what I do for the past few days. Chillin and working. Thats all I seem to do these days. Im growing tired of the routine and cant wait for a break so that at least by fall I can make some moves. Im really excited for the fall to come so that 1. It can cool down and 2. I hopefully can start making the necessary changes that I need to make. Dont get it twisted. Life here at my Aunt and Uncles is great! Home cooked meals every day, no chores, no bills, and best of all no nagging!

July 4th was fun. I didnt plan to do anything but of course as men will tend to do mine called at the last minute and suggested we go to Cony Island. It was fun in its filth. You got over the trash and enjoy the fact that its a 24/7/365 fair. The food the rides and the beach all in one place it was great. We waited for the fire works( Our purpose for going) and after about two and a half hourse we found out that this year the first in like 15 they had decided not to have fire works. We roamed a little longer and then retreated as I had work early the next morning.

So now Ive mentioned twice an allusive male figure in my life that I am romantically involved with. We are great friends and claim each other with titles but its still in the works. Everything must come with time but I really enjoy his company and he enjoys mine. He is of a different variety than I have previosly dealt with and in the end that has proven to be his benefit. It maybe what allows our personalities to be more compatibale . Eitherway thats the skinny that Im gonna provide and until I decide that theres more information that is necessary for others to know, I'll leave it at that.

Yesterday I hung out with Grace since she was up this way to visit her family. We met for lunch at Saks. I had the most wonderful Lobster Risotto and Maryland Crab soup. It was great that I could actually pay for my meal at Saks also, Its hard out here for a pimp and getting to play every now and then is whats up. It was great to get to a different part of town. Im always midtown and Brooklyn. It was great to get up town. I go uptown but thats always far uptown Bronx and Harlem. Anyway I had fun being in a different part of the city. The parts are truely different and the residents are different also. Im looking forward to an apartment search and all that fun jazz of finding a place with a cute little bodega on the corner that sells flowers with a barnes and nobel within walking distance and a cute little restaruant with sidewalk seating to dine at when cooking is out of the question.

Well, Im an official resident by both mine and leagal standards( as Ms. Bagley has alerted me) I finally got my number changed. To a local area code. Not as cute as my old number but flyer by simple 718 association. If you didnt get one of the 20,000 text messages I sent out( sorry I didnt think to put my name on it at first, then I didnt know how to make it stop sending them) then hit me up on the old phone or send me an email and I will dtermine if you deserve my number. Yeah Im a socialite now so my number is private. Not like Christina Milan's. She has a bill board atop one of the buildings in Time Square that displays a telephone number and some shit about "My number is so private I can make it public." I dont know what the fuck she means by that oxymoranic statement but my number isnt like that shit. LOL JKJKJKJK

Well I didnt have much of anything to really say but since I dont have to be at work until late I thought I would drop a few lines. Nothing really insightful but just an update. Gotta go get dressed and run to Saks...I left an important receipt at the Jo Malone counter like a half wit so I gotta get there before work.


Peace OUT

It's Been A Long Time..... I should'na left you

Gracious, I can only say that Ive been busy during my time away but I have lots of things to report on. As usual I will present a table of contents for this blog and you may read each numbered section at your leisure so that you are not overwhelmed by one obnoxioulsy long post. ...


1. My Birthday

2. 1 Year Anniversary

3. The GAP

4. The June Birthday Party

5. Everthing Else I feel like talking about...


1. Soooooooooooooooo I turned 22 on June 12th :) Glad to be a year older, but it doesnt feel any different. I wasnt terribly excited and I didnt do anything special except get with my boo boo (Hmmmmmmm you wonder) We chilled and ate and I tried to relax and take the day off since it was my birthday after all. I guess when you get to my age thats what you do.... you relax, you buy yourself something special, you wait for your friends and the ones you love to call and sing you happy birthday on your voicemail (Thanks Julee, Julia, and Erin) and you spend time with your love interest in a romantic "I better spend the day doing every damn thing you say cause I know you'll raise cane" sort of way. I enjoyed it though cause I heard from all the people who I really love which meant so much. Now I've got another year to make grand things happen. Im looking forward to the things that 22 has in store for me. You.....you just keep the paper in hand and the tv tuned to CNN because when I blow.....the worlds gonna know. Check on it!!!

2. Sooooooooooo my blog is one year old. Shout out to all my faithful readers. Lets hope this year brings even more exciting post and interesting rants and raves. I love to talke to people and hear them reference my blog and tell me what they think of the things I say. I know Andrea thinks that I shouldnt say somethings on my blog that I think...and I think that sometimes too but you know I included a disclaimer and it still stands. Im growing and chainging as I do. Think of the things Ive written about in my blog on June 12, 2o05 and what Ive achieved/ held to/ changed my mind about since then. Im proud of my development and Im glad that I have it documented. Again as I said earlier, I'll look back when Im 25 and laugh my ass off at the mass of foolishly mispelled post that I have on the internet...maybe I'll be ashamed and take the whole thing down? For now.....Im loving it and Im proud and I stand behind all my words so FUCK YOU!!! :) In addition, Ive had the opportunity to witness the blossoming of two of the best blogs Ive seen.( It's always better when you know the person writing...that way the words have so much more meaning and you can laugh much more hearty) Both Erin and Julee have started blogs that are terribly comical, insightful, and inspiring!!! Check them out.


The Littel Black Girl That Could@ Blogspot.com-----The title alone inspires you.

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can"

I know thats been my mantra for the last month and a half!!!
Julee's blog is ....."Dedicated to the art of living fabulously as a smart...successful...out-going...black woman in the Big Apple" Im ticking away at each of those adjectives...Ive got the smart, Ive got the black....just gotta work on the outgoing and successful. Im no hermit and neither am I on the verge of returning to the RIC to sleep on my Mommas couch, but I always hold myself to higher standards. I use "Little Black Girl" as a reference for all things progressive, and you should too whether your in NY, VA, or UT


Memoirs of Erin Richelle @Blogspot.com---Precicesly Erin, and oh so comical.....and I quote
"I knocked off the dance recital - b/c although I love Kayla and her mom (for without her my hair would not be bouncy), until I birth my own precious daughter (years from now) I shouldn't have to rearrange my schedule for anyone elses."
Thats Erin for you!!!

3. Soooooooooooooooo Im feeling very Kanye West like about the Gap right now. Now I love my job....or having a job.... you pick....but sometimes I get so pissed when I think about it. The matter is that sometimes your forced to deal with unprofessional people and that can make the work environment difficult. Other times you have to work with people whom you normally wouldnt talk to if you were deaf all your life and suddenly was granted the opportunity to speak. The differences between NY and Va Gap's are minesqual yet important. In NY I get so many hours Im closing at night and opening in the morning, and called in on my only day off for the week. In VA I prayed they heard me when I told them I had open availablity. Hoping for more than 4 hours in VA, I had to say that we were far more organized and far more friendly with each other. Of course its the south and my store was much smaller but damn NY's idea of organization is seperating the pant hangers from the top hangers. They try to make procedures rocket science and its really not. The only differences in practices is the hanger thing and the fact that everyone has a damn attitude. I dont beileve that shit though because I know attitude. Yall know...I know attitude... anyway....Ive had my share of instances where I had to get a few people straight but in the end its been all good. I planned to, but I wont blog about how obnoxious spanish people are and how they destroyed the store during the Puerto Rican Day Parade and how they come into the store and talk loud as hell in spanish, and how they speak spanish when they know other people cant speak spanish and cant understand what they are talking about and how they try to pretend they dont speak english when I try to get them to open a gap card and how they wear crazy outfits with their bra's showing and Puerto Rican Flag bandana tied to their heads and each wrist and around their ankle, and how they get attitudes when you dont get them what they want and ask you questions like are you sure when they saw you just look up the shit on the computer, or how they make you hunt down the very last of the $6.99 monstrostity of a shirt and then dont buy it because they thought it was $4.99 and its too big...when really its too small for them. No...I wont blog about any of that. Truthfully Ive had those things come from everyone at the GAP...every race....I cant figure out who its worst from...the black people who think that $6.99 is too much, or the white people who think they are too good to respond when you say hello. ( Earth to white bitch....your shopping at the GAP...I work at the GAP I think we can call it a tie) What about the people from other countries that come in and say "Hello, I would like to get 15% off by opening a GAP Card." Only my dream customer especially after having the sales lead tell you that we need to get 18 cards everyday this week. I wonder if they read the news and pay attention to the fact that interst rates are rising and that Allen Greenspan or who ever the hell decided that minimum payments wont be so low anymore. Anyway....the people from other countries know damn well that there arent any GAP's in Ethiopia, or Switzerland, or Spain or any of those places....Shit.


4. Soooooooooooooooooo the June Birthday Party was great and I had a fun time. My sister threw a party for my niece( her daughter) Efe, and my nephew Keenan, her Dad and myself. It was a lovley aray of Dora the Explorer, Agave cactus sugar substitutes, and tofu. 10 kids took over the place and alternated between the bottom floor and the middle floor. I.... I tried to find the quitest room possible and assert order whenever necessary. I went for favorite and bought my niece the Dora Big Sister door. I loved hearing her sing " Come on Vamanos...Everybody lets go(some slur of 3 year old words) I know that we can do it!!!!) Dora cupcakes, Dora toys, Dora books, and a Dora shaped cake that my sister spent 3.5 hours making and decorating to a T using those really professional piping tubes and coloring each different shade of icening necessary. I bought my nephew a Hokey Pokey Elmo but Elmo got no love. It was all about Dora...even my nephew foudn himself fighting with the other kids over who got to play with the two plastic babies that came with Dora, while Elmo spun in the corner by himself. Maybe next year. The trip was long...but I enjoyed it and I got a great set of authentic bangles from my sisters father and the Young, Fab and Broke book by Suze Orman.


5. Soooooooooooooooo the ways that men try to get to women in NY are eternally comical. One guy asked if I could keep a secret.... when I asked what the secret was he replied and the sexiest way he could muster on 34th street on a Monday evening...." You and me" I thought that was comical and innovative and commended him for his hollering tactics. I gave him the number just for being comical and explained that it would go down in a very platonic way....besides my numbers gonna change in a few days anway.

Sooooooooooooooooooo who's super excited about "The Devil Wears Prada"???? I am! Im going after work tomorrow and Im super excited. This will be the first time I go to the movies BMS and that may be for the best. I highly expect for it to be a fav of mine and I cant tell you how many times Ive relished at the joy that Brown Sugar bought to me so I know that this is gonna be one that I reflect on time and time again.

Sooooooooooooooooooo when did it become accebtable for girls for be so totally boyish. A girl at worked talked about how she wears fitted hats. I couldnt believe it. She talked about how she was getting the new Jordans that came out at midnight that night. I almost laughed at her as she reminded me of those middle school days when people would come to school late from reporting to the sneaker store at 8 am to cop their pair. She asked if I planned to get them and I responded the negative. I told her I try to avoid sneakers as much as possible and the pair I have are because theyre pink, and cute and puma's ( my fav) and sleek and perfect for rainy days when a track suite and sneakers are a must. Even at work I dont wear sneaks. Ive learned that sneakers and grown women dont go together. Tennis shoes are for tennis and Gym shoes are for the gym. There are very few exceptions. Once in a while the hip street look is desired but the farthest I think I would go is chuck taylors for that. Sorry, Im not a sneaker freak...I'll leave that to the boys and even they should strive for mostly loafers(in a perfect world) Anyway, I couldnt believe the lack of femeninity in her apparal...and this girl doesnt dress like I dyke as one would expect hearing that she wears fitted hats. As I rode the train home one night one girl departed her friends by saying...."I'll hollla, yall swalllow" Now Im no prude and I can be as free as the best of them, but I know how to hold my tongue and how to use proper decorum and language in the presence of others. From time to time Erica will have to remind me to check for childre as we spew obsenities at each other but outside of those who know me and those who are my peers I dont normally fly off the deep end. I just thought it was sad that a girl would do something like that and think her self cleaver. Try again dear!