1. Ok so I had to blog about this because I just witnessed a lady on the Tyra Banks Show. This lady was apparently terribly afraid of pennies....I know it sounds crazy but its 11:19 on Friday June 9, 2006 and I died laughing as I watched Tyra try and caress the pennies to show the girl that the pennies would not hurt her. It was so damn funny I just kept laughing and laughing!!!! "The pennies wont hurt you look, Im touching them so they cant hurt you!" WHAT THE HELL???? Then Tyra tells her that she has to dig to the bottom of the pennies in the aquarium to retrieve a $6000 watch. This lady begins to flick the pennies with her claw nails and after a few seconds finds the watch. "Was that so hard?" Tyra ask the girl as she gasp and looks dazed beside Tyra. LMAO...I know its wrong to laugh at these people but it's just so damn funny! In middle school when we learned about the people had the problem where they thought they were someone else or something else I couldnt contain myself then either. One lady was sick and thought that she was a candy cane and would contort her arms in as best a ciscle shape as she could. Its not funny but damn it's so damn funny!
2. I walked into the hell hole the Gap calls the break room and over heard a conversation that only belongs on Letterman or one of those shows.
"No....blood is green before it hits the air."
I couldnt believe what I was hearing... was this a real live conversation with real live people???? There was but one sole in the whole group of about 10 people who said "Um...I always thought blood was blue before it hit the air." You should have heard the uproar in response. One lady responded " No...blood is green before it hits the air....My mother told me that when I was little" What a damn shame. This bitches mother told her that blood was green before it hit the air. Maybe when you do drugs your blood is green before it hits the air but for us normal healthy earth beings....blood is blue. I couldnt let this ignorance continue so I did something I promised I would never do......I joined in on this conversation as I rounded the courner from where my locker was. " No...Blood is Blue before it interacts with Oxygen....thats why there were such things as Blue Vain Societys" "No blood is green!" they replied in unison. I setteled and writ them all of as dumb asses officially.
3. The Hills
Ive written about them already but I have to say that episode two only solidified that sentiment.
The fact that LC is only now realizing that her dear Heidi is a dumb ass is really sad. Who but a dumb ass skips her first day of classes.....she doesnt even know if she likes it or not.... Is she alergic to learning? Does she have a problem seeing the board and is too vain to wear glasses? Is she afraid of being called on in class? You know what the damn problem probably is....this bitch cant read! She's illiterate and is too afraid to admit it. Adult illitearcy is a seriouse problem and what she needs to do is pick up a simple book about Dick and Jane. See Jane shop. She is from Laguna Beach. See Dick surf. He has slept with your best friend. Some shit she can understand. The sad part is that LC didnt know her friend was a dumb ass. Far more sad than Heidis illiteracy...LC doesnt know who her real friends are. I know who all my friends are. I can identify all the dumb asses that I call friends right now.....I know who the dumb ass is, where that dumbass is, and what type of dumbass things that dumbass is probably doing. I wish Heidi the best of luck...I hope she does well at her new job but Im sure the dumb shit is gonna continue week after week.
4. Yesterday I was in Duane Reid and I was deciding if I was gonna pick up snacks there or wait and go to the actual grocer. I walked by an aisl with a boy stocking the shelves and hesitated and decided to come back to that aisl. When I reentered the aisl where the boy was he very loudly proclaimed "I knew you was gonna come on my aisl!" and gazed at me as If I had opened a trench coat to reveal a surprise just for him. I turnd from the facial tissue and said " Oh really?" in my typical smart ass Cassandra way. He asked if Ineeded any help with anything and in that very same smart ass Cassandra way I replied " Nope....There's not that much to tissue. I think I got it." He said " Is there anything else I can help you with in this aisl?" very suggestively...my response...." Nope....I only came to this aisl for the tissue!" He then chucks the trash he was holding from his stocking duties and exlaimed...."Awwww Man!!!" I apologized and picked up the cheapest box I could find since it was just snot that they would be used for and exited as soon as I could. NY men.... they slay me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment