Thursday, November 29, 2007

The folks you meet on a NY street.

So, I know NY is different from Richmond. Different in a number of ways.
-There are bags for your drinks at the fast food places
-Every store has two floors (The Grocery Store, Forever 21, Arden B, Every store!)
-People talk on their phones while their at work, dealing with customers(like Walgreen's)
-NY people say "On Line" when they mean "In line"
-You buy your live Christmas tree on the street, right across from the Duane Reid and the local chicken/burger spot
-The bus doesn't take dollar bills
-You ride the bus


I could go on for days but the most interesting and different part about NY is the things that NY people feel so comfortable with saying and sharing with you.

Two examples....




Example 1.

So, apparently dark skinned women are a commodity in NY. I see them everywhere but for whatever reason, the men in NY loose their minds.... really. Ive been called everything in the book for my complexion..."bottle of a boot", black, smokey the bear, midnight, spook, and I'm not even really that dark. Ive grown to love it and apparently some residents of NY do to. My roommate Kim makes fun of me because I often get called "Chocolate" by men(some homeless, some dusty). They make a point to pipe up in their loudest voice to proclaim that I have "beautiful skin, hair, legs (the legs confuse me...i think they just talkin shit)" Now normally all this is great because a VA dude just doesn't have the balls, but there's always one to spoil it for the bunch.

I'm walking around 5th ave near 17th, checking out the holiday sets and just having some me time when I walk past this guy that yells at me
"Take your chocolate ass home!"
now... I'm of course startled and confused and scared and cant decide if I need to run or give him a "fuck you muthafucka" look and keep it gangsta. I however choose to just look confused. He proceeds

" I like em' dark... umph.... The blacker the berry, the sweeter the pussy!"

He prompts

"right?...... Right???"

I run.


Example 2.

I'm at Starbucks after a usually wack ass day at Bloomingdale's. I love working at the SOHO store because I see lots of characters on the way to and from work. There are the black folks who have chosen to revive the regalia of the 80's including HUGE doorknocker earrings, bright colors, and yes, even stone washed jeans, the kinda hippie Anthropologie/LL Bean/Salvation Army(cant believe I just named that like its a brand) folks and the rude ass spatially challenged tourist laden with shopping bags, talkin loud as hell, and looking at the sky or either end of Broadway trying to find their way out. So I'm at Starbucks and the barista proceeds to take my order and while I am clearly at the register this women walks up to my barista while talking on the phone. Shes talking so loud I cant really remember what the hell I was ordering but I finally get it out and proceed to pay. My barista ask my name and I reply.

"Brown"

The lady has finished her conversation at this point and turns to me (because she doesn't understand that you should stand behind me not beside me, because its my damn turn)

"Really, your name is Brown?"

I respond casually and kinda not interested "Yeah"

She checks once more "Brown?"

My barista cant hear me...because of loud hoe...and I confirm the name "Brown, Like the color" to both of them.

Rude Hoe responds " That's perfect!"

Me really just interested in getting some spiced cider, keeps it moving " Its a really common name, I'm surprised you've never heard of it."

My barista roles his eyes ( and hes not the eye rolling type) and says, "yeah really common!" kinda angry like.

I proceed to the end of the bar to pick up my cider( with the caramel and whip cream...so good!) and barista 2 gives me this half laugh/half shaking head look and not until then do I realize why my last name is sooooooo perfect!

Now considering this hoe is clearly crazy to say some out the way shit like that 1. aloud and 2. to an even crazier hoe like myself, I decide that tonight is not lecture night, tonight is not educate the masses night and of all nights that it is not, its not show her ass why my name is so perfect because I'm bout to be just as "brown" as your stereotype of "brown" people is!

I run

this time from ignorance, or both times from ignorance, the second being just a little more sad. I know I can say some out the way shit, hell, I say it right here on this blog, but that was some serious socially offensive behavior...... or just so New York type shit.

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