Perspective: Paradigm Shift

1. Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Marc Jacobs Inspire me to do better

2. My Homie Tone

3. Class now is in session

4. Let me tell you what I ain't.


1. I was invited to the Schomburg to hear Henry Louis Gates Jr. speak about the African American National Biography that he edited. This 8 volume collection is a semblence of biographies of variouse African Americans. I sat there and learned things I didnt know about Black history. Now I'll never run around and say that Im one of those black people that know my history, (sad but the truth) but I was surprised at some of the stuff I heard that day. The volumes are written by many different people and will be added onto from its current 4000 entries as it is transfered to the internet for everyone to have access to. He had us laughing as he talked about the different entries, and made his own excitement about the project touch you. Its said to be the most extensive collecion of African American biograpies, and for a mere $800 every home, office, and class should have a copy.

Or we could wait until the online version comes out.
Me, personally, I might have to wait.

We got to join him for dinner afterwards and that was the cherry on top. He was funny and theatrical and amazing all at the same time. I know people have reservations about his ideals and such but above all you have to respect this man for his wealth of knowledge. We got to this little Moroccan place and hes like "I hope y'all got some hot sauce." The coolest historian you will ever meet, Im sure of it! When we left he shook our hands and said "Nice to have met you, I always enjoy meeting new Negros" Gotta love it!

So I got to go to the Marc By Marc show room for a presentation of the spring collection for Bloomingdales. Now I previously wasnt really with Marc Jacobs and wondered why all the little Asian kids at school would swoon over his stuff. I swear we would sit in classes on the first day and go around and mention our fav designers. Between Marc Jacobs and Alexander McQueen you would think that no one else existed. This show however converted me. I mean beautiful candy colors for the spring, jewel tones and yall know I love color. The collection was actually HOT! I have my eye on these two bags and when they come in I think I need to make one of them mine! LAAAAAAAAAALLAAAAAAAALLALAL Wait till I get my money right!
I love the camel color its so lush, and the shapes are relaxed with the long hanging strap but sophisticated with the short one! If anyone wants to give me a gift, they should feel more than free to !

So in one week I found so much inspiartion, that I didnt know what to do with myself. I wanted to rip out my croquise book and start sketching collection after collection. I was really moved by the lecture and wanted to learn more and more about these people that are sometimes forgotten because they arent your typical history makers, but where none the less the first to do a number of great things for black people. Cool.

2. So my homie Tonia finally came to NY to visit, and as expected she loved it. She got in on Friday night and Sat we chilled and visited the fab Julee Wilson. Julee and Sabon are stops on my visit me in NY tour and are always crowd pleasers. Call Tonia and she will explain to you the sickness that is Sabon and soft skin. Tonia got toys from Julee and I was a little jelous cause I don't have the necessary humans with the nessecary members to get the same toys. It's all good though, its all good! Jen was there and she is a show alone! Shes growing so much and everytime I see Jen I am more and more impressed with her. Im so amazed that she is in LA doing her damn thing. Thats some big shit!! to me!
So we went to Melbas for din din and it was delisciouse, Julee always knows where to get the best of the best. Sunday we chilled and for old times sake I did Tonia's hair. Some how I always end up doing LaTonia's hair some kind of way. Freshman year I was curling it. Sophmore year I was giving her some kind of braids . Junior year it was a twist set and senior year it was all about the gel twist. Now two years out of school Im straightening her hair.

Aint she pretty!

It came out FAB which was our goal since we would be going to see Fertile Ground and Eric Roberson later that night. We had dinner with a friend at this little Jamaican place called Brawta in Brooklyn. The food was decent but it has been better. Strangest night of my life until the concert. They say alot about me or maybe they don't, but you already know what I ain't.

Fertile ground killed the show, and had me in tears, Eric Roberson was on some love shit that I enjoyed (well really not really). Sometimes love songs get on my damn nerves, it gets to be too much of the same thing over and over. How many times can you say that you love someone or that your impressed with them or that your are attracted to them. Theres got to be balance in your music, you know. How about some, Nigga you aint shit songs, LOL... just kidding. He performed Pretty Girl and I was satisfied with that and could have gone home happy. It was cold as hell but we braved it and had an awesome weekend. Between giving her the marathon tour of NY, Harlem, Brooklyn, Midtown she was happy except for when we came home and she started talkin some shit about her legs being green. Yall know Tonia's a hypocondriac(LOL) and waking me up at damn 8 in the morning on that teacher bull. Erica does that same shit, call me at 9 am. My clock doesnt have an hour before 11, Note to Bitches! DONT CALL ME BEFORE 11, shit!

3. So school is back in session and I have to say that I marched down 14th with some apprehension. I was so shook from the the previouse semester that I wasnt sure I was up to going back. I started yesterday with three classes and they were actually cool. Im excited about the projects and look forward to what the rest of the semester has to offer. I need to find an internship since Versace fell through, then I'll be good and I can start focusing on what Im gonna do for the summer. So much to think about but Im glad to be busy. It's the best way to be.

4. So in the last week while I've been inspired I've also had some heart to hearts with a few people and learned some interesting things about myself. There are but a few things you could do to send me into a rage, insult my intelligence, or not listen to me. Im not the smartest by far and I try very hard to remember that, but when you try to play me for the fool, it really ticks me off and I can become quit the tyrant. I will afford you no leway and above all else I will make you feel like shit. Apparently I bit someones head off this weekend,(thats what Tonia said) but I feel like it was deserved for various reasons. This brings me to my second point of rage. If I tell you how I feel over and over and over , tell you my POV over and over and over don't grab your chest when I hurt your feelings. I'm known as a bit of a bitch, mean girl, whatever, but Im really on this thing of being upfront and truthful with people. Now that doesnt mean I throw tack and discretion to the wind and fly off the handle, but if I have a question Im gonna ask, and If what your saying doesnt make sense to me, Im gonna ask for clarification.

We had this conversation at dinner the Henry Louis Gates Jr. We were discussing how men and women communicate and were using the example of a friend that went on a date with a guy and wasnt really feeling it. As she watched him leave her house she saw him jumping up and down in the parking lot as if he just won an olympic medal. One of these kids is doing their own thing. How on earth could he walk away thinking that he had really had a great meeting with her and she walk away feeling like she would never do it again. We decided that men and women communicate differently and because of that there is often a lag. Carry, Mr. Gates friend mentioned that somtimes women have to break things down to apples and oranges and thruthfully this dosnt only apply to men and women. You ever had a conversation with someone and mid way they ask you what the hell you ment by some shit you said 15 sentances ago. I hate when people give you the "uh huh" when they dont know what the hell your talking about. Gates said, to ask for clarification is to make oneself vulnerable. I agree, vulnerable is the last feeling people want to have when they already find themselves in a state of bewilderment. Asking the question seems so simple, but most people wouldnt do it. I've only learned to do so recently, as a result of me learning that you look even more stupid when your ignorance is exposed...and it always gets exposed at some point or another.

So back to me having my hat handed to me. It wasnt really handed to me, but I thought I had my wits about me and was choosing my words so very carfully. I like to keep in mind the power of words and try very hard not to use them wrecklessly. So Im reflecting and Im wondering if I was not clear. Though everyone will not see things from your perspective, if you explain your POV, then shouldnt they at the very least see where your coming from???? Anyway, it got me down, I started to feel bad about myself. I talked with another friend about it and she had this to say. She said that she's werry of people who try to give me the attitude adjustment speech because shes privy to alot more about my life and what I've been through then most people are. I agreed that my life has something to do with it, but I don't want to be that girl thats running around hiding behind past transgressions in the name of " thats why I am who I am" it matters but after a certain point you have to give up the ghost. She said" You work too hard to not be proud of who you are and what you've done with your life" which is also true. So, as much as I and everyone else wants to be accomodating to people and deal situationally with people you can't compromise yourself for their inability to do their own speaking up. I might come of out left field with some of my questions or approach but its nothing that your not thinking.

"Secretly though I know you admire that
Say Hello
You wish you had the balls to fire back."