My Christmas List!!!

So heres my Christmas List, enjoy it, get me anything here or whatever you feel so compelled to, or just get some good gift ideas for your other friends, but remember one thing, Cassandra put you on.

1. So I've officially become obsessed with Phillip Lim and these sexy little gloves started it all. Leather covered jewels adorn the wrist of these fab and danty little beauties, in nude, navy and black, you can't really go wrong. Cop me a pair and I'll love you forever! (Barney's $119)

2.

Soulfood was the best show ever, remember the episode where Bird had a stalker and Lem was going crazy and in the end him, Bird and Terry were all hugging in the hallway.....no....well it was such an emotional scene. I loved it and I loved the way the show displayed black love in a true and modern way! The complete series is finally on box set and I think this along with Coming to America and that Eye's on the Prize PBS documentary would complete any Black home's theatre! (Barnes and Noble $167)

3.

I know, I know, a lime green bag???? Yeah, this bag actually turns me on. The Grovee could be in just about any color way and I would still be obsessed. I've decided that if I were to become rich in the near future, I would spend my entire wealth on acquiring this bag in every color it ever came in. Huh, You'd pick a different bag, YSL Downtown Tote, Hermes Kelly's or Birkin's? ... We'll snaps for you, but Grovee is all the bag I feel comforatable with. (Barney's $349)

4.

The real thing in stero. Alexander McQueen is the shit and there's not alot anyone can say otherwise. As much as I love fashion and no matter how much money I ever get, I dont yet see my self purchasing a $2000 top, skirt or anything beyond a bag, fur, or shoes even at the height of my career. For that reason, this scarf does a great job of allowing me to get the AMCQ experience (alexandermcqueen.com $260)

5.

So Phillip Lim created this beauty in responce to the current economic crisis. If you get the chance see the real thing at Barney's. All this for only $495....imagine. Yeah, take sometime and absorbe this.

6.

The hood girl in me can't get give up the big earrings, and the artsy dork in me could go off into a soliloquy about what these earrings inspire. Beside, I think they will compliment the new cut and frame my face just right. (Barney's $325)

7.

Cashmere Mafia was the best show on ABC and its cancelation left me in tears. Lipstick Jungle was the wackest attempt at recreating that SATC type show that Ive seen thus far. Lucy Liu was fashion forward and everyone else was correct and inspirational. Between this and Girlfriends being canceled, where does a progressive girl go? All 7 episodes are here to be replayed over and over and over. (Barnes and Nobel $27)

8.

So as you can tell, Im trying to step my accessories game up, and I really think I could hurt some feelings with these. When I saw these, I got really excited. I really feel like they are freakable and though slightly 80's again, they go with my hair. Plus for $22 you may as well. (Guess, $22)

9. I never get tired of these things. The hazelnut, the soft creamy center,yum! I always get a box for my self for Christmas, but if given these confections, I would freak out just the same as I would for the Phillip Lim gloves. (Your local grocer, price varies)

10.

Ok so close your mouth, yes this is Idris Elba and yes this is still my Christmas List. Yes he is on it and no, I have no shame. If you are fortunate enough to have a brother, cousin, uncle, etc. that looks anything ike Mr. Elba, hook a sista up. The kid is on the market, and Im hoping to attract an Idris-like counterpart. Ask and ye shall receive, so...

That pretty much sums it. Not that bag right? Only 10 items, I mean we are in a recession and all! Merry Christmas!

Dream love supreme,QUEEN meanest thing on the scene three dots Cassandra Brown

What I'm searching for
to tell it straight, I'm trying to build a wall
Walking by myself
down avenues that reek of time to kill
If you see me keep going
be a pass by waver
Build me up, bring me down
just leave me out you name dropper
Stop trying to catch my eye
I see you good you forced faker
Just make it easy
You're my enemy you fast talker


I can say I hope it will be worth what I give up
If I could stand up mean for the things that I believe

What am I here for
I left my home to disappear is all
I'm here for myself
Not to know you
I don't need no one else
Fit in so good the hope is that you cannot see me later
You don't know me
I am an introvert an excavator
I'm duckin' out for now
a face in dodgy elevators
Creep up and suddenly
I found myself
an innovator

Change, change, change,
I want to get up out of my skin
tell you what
if I can shake it
I'm 'a make this
something worth dreaming of

OBAMA!!!!!!

Got this from my homie, def considered #4, I'd only add that we should also refrain from shooting guns into the air in celebration. You know how we get around New Years and ...in general.




When Obama wins, there will be a lot of people (some of our co-workers included) who will be watching us on November 5th (the day after the election) for signs of the end times.

To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid - at least for the first few days:

1. No crying, hugging or shouting "Thank you Lord" - at least not in public.

2. No high-fives - at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses.

3. No laughing at the McCain/Palin supporters.

4. No calling in sick on November 5th. They will get nervous if too many of us don't show up.

5. We're allowed to give each other knowing winks or nods in passing. Just try to keep from grinning too hard.

6. No singing loudly, We've come this Far By Faith (it will be acceptable to hum softly)

7. No bringing of barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week (no chittlings at all) (this may make us seem to ethnic).

8. No leaving kool-aid packages at the water fountain (this might be a sign that poor folks might be getting a breakthrough).

9. No Cupid Shuffle during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement).

10. Please no Moving on Up music (we are going to try to remain humble).

11. No doing the George Jefferson dance (unless you're in your office with the door closed).

12. Please try not to yell----BOOOO YAH!

13. Just in case you're wondering, Doing the Running Man, cabbage patch, or a backhand spring on the highway is 100% okay.

If I've missed anything feel free to add to the list.

I got taken in
We feasted on olives from the fridge
We stood the whole lonely day
We made love all afternoon
Til the stars went blue

You wrote a ballad
We dined on oysters and champagne
That's what it seemed like
We connect in so many ways
So easy, I must say

Why am I so shy around you?
Why am I so shy?
Why do I take care to astound you?
Why do I even try?

Another rainy day
We sat inside by the radiator
Watching old black and white films
Where everybody sang

You played in my solitude
Didn't get dressed 'til 2
The rain says all
I wrote this song on my guitar
But it didn't turn out right
So we just connected in other ways
So easy, I must say

Why am I so shy around you?
Why am I so shy?
Why do I take care to astound you?
Why do I even try?

Why am I so shy around...?
Why am I so shy?
Why do I take care...?
Why do I even try?

Mavericks

Alanis

So I just realized how sentimental mood can be such a romantic and depressing song at the same time. It fills me with some crazy ass melancholy giddyness that I just have to pause and think about these days. I came home last night and had to put it on repeat. I’ve been feeling this awkward mix of emotions and I don’t know whether to smile and call my homie Tone to gabb about it or go straight home and call my Mommy, to get some good old Caribbean “suck it up…be a woman!!”. I feel off. If you saw me you would see it…I feel like it shows big time, but all I’m getting right now is “you look so good, you lost weight” Yeah I guess I did, but I still feel the same… I just cant leave the house without a belt. My hair is fucked up, I’ve finally come to that sad point in my life where I NEED to get my eyebrows done( I never used to have to) my skin is on some otherness, and though I’m loving the way Ive been playing with color, I feel extra regular…regalur the way Kat Williams said it in reference to weed, lol.

Summers over and I cant be anymore excited about that than I already am…but fall is here and winters coming right behind and that I am not ready for…except Christmas… I’m always ready for Christmas. I talked to my homie and we decided that we would need to make a few trips out of town cause MD and NY just don’t cut it. I’ve been listening to Homecoming as I walk through Forte Green and I think its gonna be Chicago. Do you think about me now and then cause I’m coming home again…Baby do you remember when Fireworks on {Cony island}… that song is funny, or not. The words… Maybe we can start again. I don’t know if we can, I’ve changed so much, and the fact that you haven’t makes you so different than who you used to be. Cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now there are bars on my window and I feel a strange kinship to you. Ironic?? Or not.

I got that creative surge again, prob because schools started, but I was up late drawing and looking at old magazine tears. My legs fell asleep and I laid down with White Boy Shuffle, starting it for the second time, and Wipe me down playing in the background. Ironic kinda… I think.

I pull up at the club VIP, gas tank on E, but all drinks on me(my fav part)…reminds me of when I leave Walt Whitman in my Marc By Marc. It was free but not many people know that… hell, no body at Walt Whitman knows that, but to the untrained eye one could consider the sight ironic.

Got to hear Paul Beatty speak(a little) and I felt compelled to revisit White Boy Shuffle. He read from Slumberland, but Im too broke to be buying hardbound….Im waiting on that paperback.

I am a woman of the people. I AM A WOMAN OF THE PEOPLE. But even this is unbarable….or ironic.

Ms. Candy if ya nasty!!

So,Im about as black as they come, no really. I feel like when it comes to being black and understanding and appreciating what blackness is Im there. Some may disagree but whatever. I love my black shows, love things made by black people and make allowances for my black people under the gyse of blackness.

My work boo calls me Ms. Candy or his little ebony goddess, or his little chocolate drop. I have to say... I relish in it, give him extra hugs, and smile when he writes
"Ms. C -659178" on the rotation list for commission. Ive grown to love this skin and would'nt trade it for the world, but dammit when The Hills is on, I just can't help myself. Now, I know its not all about blackness and whiteness or race, but then again it is. I've been a fan of shows with an all white cast before. Friends, Frasier, Grey's Anatomy... done it, but when it comes to people my age, Gossip girls aint cuttin it. I have tried on at least three seperate occaisons to watch the show and by the time the girl that cheated with the dude in the limo leaves confession, Ive left the CW website and logged onto the YBF. Just can't do it.

Somehow Hills held my attention, and I say that with a little laugh to myself because anyone that tries to deny the captivation of the hills is just crazy.

OK.

So, season four.

As per usual, Spencer is showing his wack ass off jump. Who the hell does he think he is throwing a bitch fit over Heidi's sister coming to visit??? I understand that he could have been given a warning and all but damn... if you intend to get this girls hannd in marriage, why go and piss of the whole family. Lets think smart Spencer!

Snaps for Lauren and Dougie, although they've already given away the fact that he too will loose his damn mind. I sometime feel bad for Lauren because it seems like her friends all bring drama to her for no good reason. Her living situation with Lo and Audrina is comedy and Im glad they got to talk it out. Lo is officially nutso and I'm glad Audrina finally said some shit about it. They need to just end that sitch and move on.

I won't go over the whole show, because I know everyone says the same things about Heidi and Spencer,and Lo and Audrinna and Lauren and Stephanie(DONT TRUST HER). I will however say that the one thing that the show needs is a black person. Not a shell wearing, flip flop wearing, behind long track wearing indiscriminently black chick... I mean a black girl... maybe even a hood chick. When a mutual friend of ours suffered from some discomfort imposed by her man, both Erica and I agreed that she needed some black people in her life to tell her like it is(index finger waving and snake head to boot) and not let her allow some dumb boy to continue leading her astray. Heidi needs the same thing, plus if there was a black person somewhere in sight, I wouldnt have to shake my head at the end to get the excessive use of the word "like" and the sing song voice out of my mind before I talk to my Mom.

Naw brother, ya gottsa getcha own!

So I totally agree with Drake and whoever that guy is that he says was on BET late nights,(I never saw it) You gotta get your own!

I feel some kinda way about biters, but then don't they say thats the highest form of flattery? Whatever...

Dear Summer, I know you gonna miss me, I know we been together like Nike Airs and crisp tees..

But really, I don't own Nike the first, and if you consider a deep v fresh then maybe I guess I could stop getting so pissed about the flattery.

Im looking at the calendar and have to squint my eyes and tilt my head to understand the numbers. Can't believe that summers over. It doesnt even seem like Ive been out of school for three monthes, let alone that Ive been in NY for the summer. I guess I had envisioned this summer more of a vacation than a hustle, and how wrong of me to do so, especially when I know that NY is the hustling capital of the world. Oh well, its over, and all the Pinkberry with David, B&N with Avery, Sneaker shops with Kirt, or Sushi with Julia aint gonna bring those days back. Again Whatever... Fall is here and with it comes the start of my final semester in fashion school, a kick ass internship at Marc, all my fav tv shows, some fly ass Steve Madden Boots that Im scheming on, and the impetus to try a deep burgundy reddish nail polish on my feet AND hands... I don't know... I think it might look nice. More importantly comes that damn nagging feeling that every senior gets when they begin the final semester of their last year of school. The fending off of real world pressure by class after class just feels too good. I complain but in the end I'd take a Russian lady avoiding a compliment and spewing a "generally good" my way anyday over the perils of job hunting. I feel sick thinking about it.

I know, I know, one minute Im asserting my maturity and the next minute Im held up in my spanish hell, going through crackberry withdrawl, avoiding friends, and enjoying my all black wardrobe as it aids in my wallowing. Gimmie about another two weeks and I should be ok.

LMAO...Can't get enough!

If ya don't know, now ya know!

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
My sister Sandy.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes, its the right thing to do!

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Listening, feeling, reading.

4. Do you take compliments well?:
Honestly, no.

5. Are you an active person?:
I live in New York, I have to be.

6. If you were alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
Fo'sho!

7. Do you like to ride horses?:
I'll pass, thanks!

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
I went to church summer camps when I was little. My niece started one the other day, and when I asked her how it was she said "Jesus is real!"

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
Barbie's!!!! Me and my sister would build houses for them out of books. We had all the furniture and the cars but my Mom refused to by that expensive ass dream house. We would cut up my Moms fabric and make dresses. Affairs, scandels, death... it was like Desperate Housewives.

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you get involved with him/her?
Naw, I deserve more!

11. Are you judgmental?
YES, and anyone who says no, is lying!!! Just because you dont say it out loud doesnt mean your not judgmental!

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
Yeah

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?:
When I was younger I had no problem going up to a guy and saying "I think your cute!" Im too damn grown to be doing that mess now!

14. Use three words to describe yourself:
Clever, inventive, straight forward

15. If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?
Deaf

16. Are you continuing your education?
Yeah, Im a Fashion Freak at Parsons.

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Yeah, but dont tell my Mom.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
My phone and my wallet.

19. How often do you read books?
Not as often as I should. Im getting better though.

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?:
The future! Im not even here right now. Really the daydreaming is a problem!

21. What is your favorite children's book?
When I was little I had a book called "What does a puppy dog say?" and you had to make the sounds for each animal. According to my sisters, I could not get enough of that book!

22. What color are your eyes?
Black.

23. How tall are you?:
5ft 6in

24. Where is your dream house located?
Fort Greene, Brooklyn

25. Boxers, Briefs, Thongs, Or Grannies?:
Nunya!

26. Last person you talked to?
My sister Allison.

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?:
Never

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Olive Garden, I think I was a sophmore in highschool.

29. What are your keys on your key chain for?
My room, my Moms house, Ms. Marilyn(my old car)

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?:
The dumpster.

31. Where is your current pain at?
Mosquito bite on my leg.

32. Do you like mustard?:
Yup!

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?:
EAT!!!

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
My Dad allllll the way!

35. How long does it take you in the shower?:
I am slow as hell, I dont know why, but Ive taken 1hr showers. It's peacful in there.

36. Can you do splits?:
Heck no!

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
I wanna see Sex and The City again. It was good.

38. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?:
I dont have a pet, and if I did, I would think that is nasty.

39. What did you do for New Year's?
Went to a club.

40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
OMG, I was shook for a week. Tonia kept calling my phone making that sound. It was really scary.

41. What was the cause of your last accident?:
Never had an accident, thankyou very much!

42. Do you own a camera phone?
Yessir!

43. What are you drinking?:
Nasty ass Manderine Orange Kool Aid... You always get Cherry or Tropical and I pick nasty ass Manderine.

44. Was your mom a cheerleader?:
I dont think there were cheerleaders in Honduras. What would they wear? Cocoanut Bras and Rafia skirts? Or some homemade ass dresses made by my Great Auntie Tasita. LOL...Imma have to ask her!

45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
I AINT GOT NO MIDDLE NAME!!!! (Love you Spring 04!)

46. Who did you vote for on American Idol?
After Fantasia won, I stopped watching.

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?:
Depends

48.Do you like carebears?
I don't dislike them.

49. What do you buy at the movies?:
Popcorn and Sourpatch kids and water.

50. Do you know how to play poker?
Nope

51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
Of course...Click it or Ticket!

52. What do you wear to sleep?
HMMMMMM You wonder!

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
Big usually skips Richmond,Va and heads up North to NOVA/DC/MD

54. How many meals do you eat a day?
1-2

55. Is your tongue pierced?
Squinting eyes and tilting head. No you freakazoid!

56. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?
Not all of them.

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?:
Funny, Im already serious so I need balance.

59. Ever been to LA?
Not yet.

60. Did you eat a cookie today?:
Naw, but I had a Honey Bun... that count?

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
Nope

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
STEAL! But dont tell on me, kay!

63. Do you hate chocolate?
That would be selfhatred.

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?:
My money. My mother always opens my bank statements and calls me fussing about me swiping my debit card 7 times in one day, or me overdrafting again. Keep in mind the fact that she doesnt make any deposits into this account! WTF

65. Is your cell usually on vibrate or ring?:
Vibrate

66. Are you a gullible person?
Depends on who Im listening to. Some people can really get the best of me. Im human!

67. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
Me and my homie have a theory.... MAN or MONEY A woman needs one of the two for balance... not happiness... but balance.

68. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
I would be the Owner and CEO of a boutique style department store chain in NY, LA, DC, ATL, Cape Town and Korea.

69. Are you easy to get along with?
Truthfully, not really. Im a gemini.

70. What is your favorite time of day?
6pm-10pm

Comedy

Comedy

Comedy

PSA: POR LOS MOMMI'S Y LOS PAPPI'S

THE FIRE HYDRANT WAS NOT CREATED SOLEY FOR THE PURPOSE OF SUMMER TIME FUN. IF THERES SHOULD BE A FIRE.... SIMILAR TO THE BURNING MINI VAN THAT WE ALL WITNESSED TODAY.... THE WATER WOULD NEED TO BE USED FOR SUCH PURPOSES.


FYI


-TU NEGRITA RESIDENTE

Yup!

So I'm so glad to say that summer has been jumping off in an ever so official way. Ive finally settled and Im trying to make my next move, and my best. Ive been thinking about my circles and my goals and how I spend my time and Im pretty satisfied with how I've responded. Ive cut out a huge chunk that had me on pause ( to everysingle person I knows joy! God if someone else responds with a "Finally" im gonna... I dont know)for faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar too long in soooooooooooo many ways , and now Im kinda ready to go on with what I have to do. I had a great weekend with the kiddies, reconnected with my Parsons loves Liza and Avery and saw the fabness that is ERB, JAW, and Sex and the City. I spent the day resting up and keeping my hair wrapped so that I would look half way decent for the nights festivities. After the movie and din, we went over to Level V where I found a cutie and started acting like it was freshman year at Farenheit again. LMAO, all in fun though! When morning came we peaced and went to sleep. I got up talking shit about work, knowing damn well I couldnt skip out on a brunch session. Theres always somethiing to learn from Julee and Erin, the best places to dine, inventive ways of propelling doller bills and the like.

Fun for days!

I got to hang out with Duron and Avery today, and if you've ever been around 1 gay man, you could imagine what 3 would be like! I dont get many words in... more questions but not words. We trapesed down 5th commenting on the windows of Saks(cool), Versace(lame, especially for going with another intern for spring)BG(Fierce!) Fendi(Loved it) etc. like the fashion freaks we are. We set a spell in Central Park discussing the makings of a retail company, that the kid might design for. We'll see how I fit with the others and what we can do. Good times as always and just like my girls, my other girls had lots to teach me, the boogina(get it while you lay in bed awake tonight, but sorry in advance if you have a bad dream about it) how 3 black males had dates but one pretty damn fly ( if I do say so myself) black girl would go home BMS, and the words to a number of Celine Dione songs.

This weekend is Cool Kids with a kid thats equal to Mikey. That should.... should.... should be fun, but we'll see. I'll do my part to keep the bipolar in balance and Im sure the coolest of kids will rock!

After that its the B-Day!!! I had a pretty little icecream party planned at Pink Berry but that got shot down so Im planning to retreat to VA where Im wanted and loved. I just knew that I had more time, but 24 is coming and though it seems strange being officially grown, I claim it and plan to use this year to show it! So watch!

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssshhhhhhhh!!!!

Damn... I been through it this past couple of weeks. Between wrapping up finals at school and moving(some big shit)my personal life, and dealing with people who think less of you, I can finally say that Im seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It's blinding but it feels so good. You know when its cold and your walking and you walk into that little patch of sun that was put there just for you by God... it feels so good on your face and warms you so much.

Aight aight, so I finished my finals and I am proud to say that I have a mere 4 classes left at Parsons The New School for Design. I like where Im at right now in terms of my design asthetic and Im starting to really appreciate my work for what it is. Still finetuning my portfolio but I'll let you check me out in a little bit. The final came out to be a precise hybrid of Doris Day and Beyonce.... don't try to understand it.

I really dont know how I came out of it cause I was running on E for the last three weeks. 3 internships ( TSE,LaRok,Nicole Miller) 5 classes, and 14hours at Bloomindgales I had no time to find a place to live... hence the uncontrolable crying fits... in public none the less!!! I was going mad... didnt wanna go back to VA didnt wanna leave Stuy Town, didnt wanna move to a whole in the wall, didnt want to admit things I knew were obviouse. This doesnt even really deserve press but the long and short of it is that I came out on top. I dont live in the subway and I moved all by my damn self, I passed all my classes, and I have some pretty good options lying ahead, which do deserve press... so ....

1. Today my nephew/godchild was born to my best friend. Now if you know Ms. Broudy, formerly Ms. Engleman, you know she was so primped and so proper that even she didnt see a hubby and a baby in her cards just yet. But if you really knew her you knew that she doesnt waste a minute and after love and marriage, the baby and the baby carrage were not far behind. Im so proud of her and excited to see her in action as a Mommy. Erica being the first of my friends to have a baby Im even more excited because its kinda like me having a baby. Think about it... if your best friend has a baby, who do you think your gonna be hanging with and dealing with??? Mommy and Baby. The great thing about this is that I DIDNT have the baby!!! So I get to hang with the little man but leave him when Im ready to go!!! Im telling you being an Auntie/ GodMommy is the life!!! I have six nieces and nephews and I would go as far as to say that when it comes to the little ones, Im a professional. I know Ive been hesitant in the past but Im not gonna front... I look forward to having children in 15 years. This weekend my sister is bringing the little ones up to see me, and its gonna be so good seeing them. I miss my babies and nothing makes me happier than to hear them say my name or show me the latest thing theyve learned. Yeah children are some sick businees and as simple as they are they are sooo amazing.

I only hope that if and when Im blessed to bless the earth with my offspring that she (or he) makes me proud, cause thats all I ever wanted to do for my parents... make them proud!

Girl Crush: Erykah Badu

Crisis

I NEED MICRODERMABRASION!!!!

Ive been eating Cheetos and NY Super Fudge Chunk all Winter and now I'm a fat ass and my whole face is one big blemish.


Shit

Sexy Can I ?....Why yes you can!!!

So I'm just gonna skip over the last two months like nothing happened ok? Ok!


I'm so excited for spring to be here that I really cant contain myself. The count down is on and I will be done with school in apx. 4 weeks! It will be hell to get through for the next four but I'm up for it! My internships will be over, and the only things I will have to do is focus on cranking out some fly ass finals and peaceing.

I keep hemming and hawing about the summer but I feel torn. A part of me really wants to be in
NY for the summer, but coming home for spring break and seeing all the people I love has me feeling some kind of way. NY has the heat, the concerts, the block parties and the fun, everyones out, theres always something to do, and something/someone to see! In VA, all my friends are there, Fridays at Sunset, Martini Kitchen(my fav little spot, I miss those shrimp) Erica's having my God Baby, My Babies(Efe, Elohor, Ibori) which are growing up so fast, and all my other little favorite hang out spots. I just want to have a good time this summer, a little sun, a couple of drinks, good music, maybe some summer love, in white skinny jeans and cute sandals. I sat with my roommate a couple of days ago and we talked about how we could taste summer, but we didn't know what flavor it was. My summer is so up in the air that I don't know what the heck I will be doing. I need to be stacking, but to have the summer I want its gonna cost. Everybody knows I love NY but its a working city and I really need to vacay. VA was so clean and calm and relaxed when I went. The people were all smiling and shiny and new (lol) and I was like OK Richmond, I see you. But if I go back to VA I wont even be in Richmond, I'll be in NOVA and I haven't lived there since high school and I'm not sure whats there for me. My family yes, which needs me right now, and thats important but Ive gotta make sure that I'm some good to them. Whatever summers about its gotta be precise because when August hits, its on. I have 4 more classes and I'm done with this fashion journey. I'm not sure whats at the end of that path, but I'm so glad I chose it. To finish is gonna be surreal and when I think about this coming December, theres gonna be lots of stuff going on for this girl. I just need to make it through this summer,finish out 2008 and pop 09 off. Yeah I'm done with this year, 4 months in and I'm done already. Maybe I wont even plan, I'll just go through the motions and let the days past and before I know it, it will be December and I'll need to pick out Christmas cards. I keep saying I wanna line my envelopes and maybe I'll get around to that this year, yeah, Christmas, its only 8 month's away. That's nothing!

Word.... Happy Holidays Y'all!

Perspective: Paradigm Shift

1. Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Marc Jacobs Inspire me to do better

2. My Homie Tone

3. Class now is in session

4. Let me tell you what I ain't.


1. I was invited to the Schomburg to hear Henry Louis Gates Jr. speak about the African American National Biography that he edited. This 8 volume collection is a semblence of biographies of variouse African Americans. I sat there and learned things I didnt know about Black history. Now I'll never run around and say that Im one of those black people that know my history, (sad but the truth) but I was surprised at some of the stuff I heard that day. The volumes are written by many different people and will be added onto from its current 4000 entries as it is transfered to the internet for everyone to have access to. He had us laughing as he talked about the different entries, and made his own excitement about the project touch you. Its said to be the most extensive collecion of African American biograpies, and for a mere $800 every home, office, and class should have a copy.

Or we could wait until the online version comes out.
Me, personally, I might have to wait.

We got to join him for dinner afterwards and that was the cherry on top. He was funny and theatrical and amazing all at the same time. I know people have reservations about his ideals and such but above all you have to respect this man for his wealth of knowledge. We got to this little Moroccan place and hes like "I hope y'all got some hot sauce." The coolest historian you will ever meet, Im sure of it! When we left he shook our hands and said "Nice to have met you, I always enjoy meeting new Negros" Gotta love it!

So I got to go to the Marc By Marc show room for a presentation of the spring collection for Bloomingdales. Now I previously wasnt really with Marc Jacobs and wondered why all the little Asian kids at school would swoon over his stuff. I swear we would sit in classes on the first day and go around and mention our fav designers. Between Marc Jacobs and Alexander McQueen you would think that no one else existed. This show however converted me. I mean beautiful candy colors for the spring, jewel tones and yall know I love color. The collection was actually HOT! I have my eye on these two bags and when they come in I think I need to make one of them mine! LAAAAAAAAAALLAAAAAAAALLALAL Wait till I get my money right!
I love the camel color its so lush, and the shapes are relaxed with the long hanging strap but sophisticated with the short one! If anyone wants to give me a gift, they should feel more than free to !

So in one week I found so much inspiartion, that I didnt know what to do with myself. I wanted to rip out my croquise book and start sketching collection after collection. I was really moved by the lecture and wanted to learn more and more about these people that are sometimes forgotten because they arent your typical history makers, but where none the less the first to do a number of great things for black people. Cool.

2. So my homie Tonia finally came to NY to visit, and as expected she loved it. She got in on Friday night and Sat we chilled and visited the fab Julee Wilson. Julee and Sabon are stops on my visit me in NY tour and are always crowd pleasers. Call Tonia and she will explain to you the sickness that is Sabon and soft skin. Tonia got toys from Julee and I was a little jelous cause I don't have the necessary humans with the nessecary members to get the same toys. It's all good though, its all good! Jen was there and she is a show alone! Shes growing so much and everytime I see Jen I am more and more impressed with her. Im so amazed that she is in LA doing her damn thing. Thats some big shit!! to me!
So we went to Melbas for din din and it was delisciouse, Julee always knows where to get the best of the best. Sunday we chilled and for old times sake I did Tonia's hair. Some how I always end up doing LaTonia's hair some kind of way. Freshman year I was curling it. Sophmore year I was giving her some kind of braids . Junior year it was a twist set and senior year it was all about the gel twist. Now two years out of school Im straightening her hair.

Aint she pretty!

It came out FAB which was our goal since we would be going to see Fertile Ground and Eric Roberson later that night. We had dinner with a friend at this little Jamaican place called Brawta in Brooklyn. The food was decent but it has been better. Strangest night of my life until the concert. They say alot about me or maybe they don't, but you already know what I ain't.

Fertile ground killed the show, and had me in tears, Eric Roberson was on some love shit that I enjoyed (well really not really). Sometimes love songs get on my damn nerves, it gets to be too much of the same thing over and over. How many times can you say that you love someone or that your impressed with them or that your are attracted to them. Theres got to be balance in your music, you know. How about some, Nigga you aint shit songs, LOL... just kidding. He performed Pretty Girl and I was satisfied with that and could have gone home happy. It was cold as hell but we braved it and had an awesome weekend. Between giving her the marathon tour of NY, Harlem, Brooklyn, Midtown she was happy except for when we came home and she started talkin some shit about her legs being green. Yall know Tonia's a hypocondriac(LOL) and waking me up at damn 8 in the morning on that teacher bull. Erica does that same shit, call me at 9 am. My clock doesnt have an hour before 11, Note to Bitches! DONT CALL ME BEFORE 11, shit!

3. So school is back in session and I have to say that I marched down 14th with some apprehension. I was so shook from the the previouse semester that I wasnt sure I was up to going back. I started yesterday with three classes and they were actually cool. Im excited about the projects and look forward to what the rest of the semester has to offer. I need to find an internship since Versace fell through, then I'll be good and I can start focusing on what Im gonna do for the summer. So much to think about but Im glad to be busy. It's the best way to be.

4. So in the last week while I've been inspired I've also had some heart to hearts with a few people and learned some interesting things about myself. There are but a few things you could do to send me into a rage, insult my intelligence, or not listen to me. Im not the smartest by far and I try very hard to remember that, but when you try to play me for the fool, it really ticks me off and I can become quit the tyrant. I will afford you no leway and above all else I will make you feel like shit. Apparently I bit someones head off this weekend,(thats what Tonia said) but I feel like it was deserved for various reasons. This brings me to my second point of rage. If I tell you how I feel over and over and over , tell you my POV over and over and over don't grab your chest when I hurt your feelings. I'm known as a bit of a bitch, mean girl, whatever, but Im really on this thing of being upfront and truthful with people. Now that doesnt mean I throw tack and discretion to the wind and fly off the handle, but if I have a question Im gonna ask, and If what your saying doesnt make sense to me, Im gonna ask for clarification.

We had this conversation at dinner the Henry Louis Gates Jr. We were discussing how men and women communicate and were using the example of a friend that went on a date with a guy and wasnt really feeling it. As she watched him leave her house she saw him jumping up and down in the parking lot as if he just won an olympic medal. One of these kids is doing their own thing. How on earth could he walk away thinking that he had really had a great meeting with her and she walk away feeling like she would never do it again. We decided that men and women communicate differently and because of that there is often a lag. Carry, Mr. Gates friend mentioned that somtimes women have to break things down to apples and oranges and thruthfully this dosnt only apply to men and women. You ever had a conversation with someone and mid way they ask you what the hell you ment by some shit you said 15 sentances ago. I hate when people give you the "uh huh" when they dont know what the hell your talking about. Gates said, to ask for clarification is to make oneself vulnerable. I agree, vulnerable is the last feeling people want to have when they already find themselves in a state of bewilderment. Asking the question seems so simple, but most people wouldnt do it. I've only learned to do so recently, as a result of me learning that you look even more stupid when your ignorance is exposed...and it always gets exposed at some point or another.

So back to me having my hat handed to me. It wasnt really handed to me, but I thought I had my wits about me and was choosing my words so very carfully. I like to keep in mind the power of words and try very hard not to use them wrecklessly. So Im reflecting and Im wondering if I was not clear. Though everyone will not see things from your perspective, if you explain your POV, then shouldnt they at the very least see where your coming from???? Anyway, it got me down, I started to feel bad about myself. I talked with another friend about it and she had this to say. She said that she's werry of people who try to give me the attitude adjustment speech because shes privy to alot more about my life and what I've been through then most people are. I agreed that my life has something to do with it, but I don't want to be that girl thats running around hiding behind past transgressions in the name of " thats why I am who I am" it matters but after a certain point you have to give up the ghost. She said" You work too hard to not be proud of who you are and what you've done with your life" which is also true. So, as much as I and everyone else wants to be accomodating to people and deal situationally with people you can't compromise yourself for their inability to do their own speaking up. I might come of out left field with some of my questions or approach but its nothing that your not thinking.

"Secretly though I know you admire that
Say Hello
You wish you had the balls to fire back."

Note To Bitches: Say Hello

Say hello To the bad guy
They say i'm a bad guy
I come from the bottom, but now i'm mad fly
They say i'm a menace That's the picture they paint
They say a lot about me Let me yell ya what i ain't

They say i'm a bad guy Say Hi to the bad guy
I come from the bottom But now i'm mad fly
They say i'm a menace That's the picture they paint
They say a lot about me Let me tell ya what i ain't
They say a lot about me Let me tell you what i ain't

I ain't playing, Life's short, so i aimed
I ain't waiting for life to start portrayin' em
Its twice as hard to get a job that's paying
So i ain't payin' attention to what you saying
Rain-drops keep falling on my brain
Constant in the drop, all flames
I'm so hot even if the weather change
I don't have no top, i'm insane

Remember darkskinned Jermaine?
Swayed in the rain, im sorta kinda the same
Except i'm no lame and you gonna know my name
Before i go to work and feel my pain
Saying, i'm a bad guy, why's that?
Cause when my back's against the wall, nigga, i react
Secretly though, i know you admire that
You wish you had the balls to fire back-- Say hello, uh, uh, hello, uh.

You wish you had the balls to fire back

Slow it down so I can spead it up (Pay close attention)

Table Of Contents

1. Parsons The New School For Design
2. Christmas
3.New Years
4. Resolutions


1.So you ever notices that I have yet to announce via Beautifully Deep that I am in Fashion School. To tell the truth I just realized that shit my self. I swear I finished my draping final(a DVF/Norma Kamali Hybrid that got shot down and evolved into something a little more Calvin Kelin-esk) and literally looked around and was like "Oh wow, Im a fashion student!" The reason is a combination of the fact that many dont make it, and me just being severly jaded. Im not in LALA land, on cloud 9 or any of that, it just took me the whole entire semester to get acquainted with the city, the school and most importantly myself. I looked up 12 days into vacay and realized that I have to go back to school in just a few short weeks. Im not ready. People sleep on fashion but I suggest they watch that scene from The Devil Wears Prada because she so eloquently and brutally(the latter being my favorite.....yall know me) explains what fashion is. Its largely the result of experience but definalty the result of training.

Its far more than magazines and shopping, its colors and patterns, and research and exposure and over exposure, and pushing and pushing and pushing and when your at the edge of the cliff, you have to jump the fuck off.....and maybe mid plumit, you might strike upon something otherwise your headed for the bottom, hard. Then you get back up and run the race all over again. I definately cried alot more than I normally do during this semester and all nighters turn into doubles(48 hour strectches) all so you can show up to class and get a "Generally good.....but do again" We all know fashion is not forgiving. Yeah people sleep, cause the work load and intensity is above and beyond on some law/med school type shit.

But alas I have completed my first semester and at the end I have created garments that I am truely proud of. Im official with that fashion shit. I will jump off the bridge and say that. Ask me, I know a lil bit and though my stlye might not be for you....thats still cool cause by design...it aint for everybody.

2. Christmas was good but not what I wanted. Yall know Im a Christmas Freak and If it were up to me I would have had the place decked out with trees and wreaths and shit but given the high cost of fabric and notions I had to scale it down, to damn near non esistance. Plus yall know Christmas just aint christmas without the one you love,(Mazoltov Bitches...I know some of yall dont want to hear that). I kept it gangsta and stayed focues on school until it was over which was just a few days before the holiday anyway. Dipped south for a brief second, very brief (sorry I didnt get to see many of you but I will be back in VA soon) and came back to work in NY(Yall know I got that Jamaican work virus...gotta keep a job and an hour is not just an hour its a billable hour...somebodys got to pay!)

3. New Years was cool, last minute but cool none the less. I chilled with some quietly amazing people and had a good time just toasting the New Year. Sorry no pictures, but yall know how I dispise pictures from the club where your hair is all fucked up and you look like you decided to jog a few miles then hit up the party spot. I hope a few of you made resloutions to put a stop that shit, cause you dont look cool! NOTE TO BITCHES!

4. I thought of making resloutions this year but was ever so frankly reminded that a day will not change my wayward mind and heart. So no resolutions even though at 10:30 12/31/07 I just knew that nothing would get in the way of me being at work at 12:50 the following day! Needless to say I was late, not even my normal infraction of 30 min, but severly....try an hour and a half. (stop shaking your head).

I started thinking about it. I was once told that I was in love with ideas, which is entirely true. I just took a cue from cupid but now I KNOW it was stupid....Im not sorry though!